Facebook seller- Delightful home decoration or jizz on a mirror?

[FlamboyantMustard]

This lady is clearly getting creative in lockdown, and I applaud her resourcefulness, that she's recycling, and she is selling things so clearly has identified an audience but...

Does this not look like a bloke spaffed on a mirror?

Hope the pictures post or this makes no sense.

@MNHQ Surely this one deserves a nomination for classics?! It’s MN gold or at least a polished turd 💩

[quote Dashel]I was tempted to ask DH if he wanted me to shit in a Pyrex bowl for him but then I remembered we don’t have a Pyrex bowl, only a jug we make custard in and then I would need to get a new custard jug so damn that ideas out.

Plus I think he may think I had gone insane and Ewww who does that? I always thought it was more for a shock porn thing that actual real people doing it.

I had a nose on Reddit and wow some of the threads on there 🤮🤮🤮

www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9zvjfx/wife_told_me_she_wanted_to_experiment_i_obliged/[/quote]
Omg, that link 🤢🤢🤢

I’ve put far too much thought into this but I’m now visualising Postman Splat practising his squats over the pyrex dish but then I thought what if he got the squits when he was doing his squats? He would need a pretty sizeable pyrex to cover that scenario 🤢🤮

I can't get my head round how they stand the smell.
I only have to walk past the bathroom when DH has been to the loo and I gag (not every time but often) so shitting near my head would have my gagometer in overdrive. Perhaps they dab a bit of Vic underneath their nostrils like the police do?!

@FlamboyantMustard

Well this thread took a turn 😳😂

I was just thinking that....got there very quickly!

@SlatternIsMyMiddleName

I’m confused. Did Postman Splaff hate his wife and was displaying his utter disregard for her by shitting on her image? Or was he declaring his love for her by defacating on her picture?

I clearly lead a very sheltered life (I’m happy in my non defecting on pictures cave).

Wasn't it her actual face?....not a picture of her face?

I have an epigastric hernia.
mirror-cum-wall art just did me some damage.

@SophocIestheFox

would Mr. Poostie shit into the bowl part of the Pyrex dish so that Mrs. Poostie would have the balance the flat part on her face, or would she have her face in the bowl with him pooing on the flat underside?

Oh my days, I had imagined the flat part balanced on her forehead, but it would actually make more sense if her face was inside it, wouldn’t it? Is the dish to catch the poo or is it more like a Pyrex fencing mask to stop her taking a jobbie to the face?

So many questions. And yet, I don’t know if I really want to k ow th answers...

... Pyrex fencing mask to stop her taking a jobbie to the face

It's lucky that my dh never required shitting type sex play from me. I fear I would have been unable to oblige, no matter how much I wanted to - I once had colonic irrigation, and was so mortified at the prospect of the therapist seeing my shit that I hung on for dear life as it were. She tried putting more water in before conceding defeat and sending me off to the toilet.

Oh my word, I was imagine him squatting over her clutching the bowl a few inches above her face but now I realise that the face in the bowl is actually more likely and everything seems so much worse than before.

I am snorting to myself after an extremely long week - thank you OP, this is MN at its very finest 😂

@mnhq - classics, pretty please?!

I can't breathe!

Pooping on a glass table must be more common than you might think.
One anecdote in Joseph Wambaugh's The Choirboys (1970s?) involved a police officer and a glass table. It worries me that I remember that.

[quote Dashel]I was tempted to ask DH if he wanted me to shit in a Pyrex bowl for him but then I remembered we don’t have a Pyrex bowl, only a jug we make custard in and then I would need to get a new custard jug so damn that ideas out.

Plus I think he may think I had gone insane and Ewww who does that? I always thought it was more for a shock porn thing that actual real people doing it.

I had a nose on Reddit and wow some of the threads on there 🤮🤮🤮

www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/9zvjfx/wife_told_me_she_wanted_to_experiment_i_obliged/[/quote]
These best thing about that link is the poster’s edit at the end saying they didn’t go to the zoo after all

This thread has got me in stitches, especially the Reddit post. Thank you for brightening my day

@Dashel I feel awful because if that’s real and you ignore the poo element it’s a huge breach of trust but I am dying laughing about the zoo.

@MNHQ surely this is going to Classics

@MNHQ another vote for Classics

Postman scat. Postman scat. Postman scat is a dirty old twat.
Just as he was crowning. His wife she started frowning.
Then she chickened out and he shit right on the floor.

That Reddit thread

Your sex life went from vanilla to chocolate real quick

Wonder if any of them put cling film on their glass tables to make cleaning up easier after the deed?
Dirty shitting barstewards!

There must be a market for a pervert’s commode in all of this.

I was friends with a girl who got schtupped with a bounty bar!
The erm... first half of the bar melted too badly to be retrieved and she got a very nasty infection.

She also schtupped herself with her boyfriends glasses once NOT ENVY.

They broke up when her accidentally jizzed on Gibraltar on her world map and refused to buy her another one.

Just found myself humming Postman Pat whilst reading this thread 😂

"She got into the bathtub and I hung my ass over the side of the tub. I started pushing, but unsurprisingly found it very difficult to successfully shit on my wife. I turned my head around to see my wife staring up and smiling at me waiting for me to finish. With enough time, I was finally able to get a turd to start coming out. I could hear my wife breathing heavier beneath me as my asshole started opening. However, before the turd was able to drop on her chest, I felt a sensation around my asshole.
I turned around and saw my wife - the love of my life, the mother of my son - attempting to catch my turd in her mouth as it fell out of my asshole"

I mean......????!!!!

Oh god that’s so grim.