So fed up with my life

[onandon8]

I live in London and am just so fed up with the people, the busyness, the noise, the pollution and the cost of everything, particularly housing. It’s really getting me down.

I want to sell up and buy a cottage by the sea in Devon or Cornwall, but DH will only consider counties close to London as there are always employment opportunities here.

I know what he’s saying but I don’t want to carry on with the rat race for the rest of our lives, living in an average area with a massive mortgage to pay each month.

I also read threads on here saying London schools are the best, and wonder in which part of London these posters live? Primaries near us are good/outstanding but the secondaries are dire - I can’t consign my DC to a life of that.

I would love to send them private but we don’t have anywhere near that kind of money. All the local private schools offer bursaries, but surely they must be inundated with applicants - does anyone know how easy it is to get one?

AIBU to want to leave London behind and have a different, simpler life in a small seaside town, with a mortgage of about £400-£500 per month?

I completely sympathise. I want the same thing.

What does your DH do for work, though?

As wages are quite a big lower in the south west than London, you may find any reduction in mortgage is offset by lower wages and you don’t find yourself any better off, unless one of you is willing to do a long commute.

That said, I wouldn’t want to Raise my kids in London. I live in the south west, not by the sea, but in easy reach of it and with lovely countryside on our door step. We’re on the edge of a town which has enough amenities to occupy my teens. I wouldn’t change it.

He’s a freelance designer and I’m currently a SAHM. The problem is his work is contractual - so he might get something for a year and then it’s gone and he has to find another contract. So it’s not very secure and that is why he wants to be near London, “just in case”.

He wants to consider Kent but it’s still very expensive (though not quite London prices). It’s also nowhere near as beautiful as Devon and Cornwall in my opinion.

Are you in London @flaviaritt?

I used to like it here but I’ve just got to the end of my tether with it all really. I feel so anxious in the big city. Perhaps it’s lockdown blues, perhaps not.

I know DH is being sensible and is right in what he says. I just can’t shake the feeling of not wanting this life anymore.

Have you considered Dorset? It’s got a lovely coast line and as it’s that bit closer to London it might appeal more to your husband.

Not quite London but the commuter belt. I used to live in London and hated it. I’m happier where we are but would love to move again.

Unfortunately (given the info on your situation above) it sounds like he does need London. The other side of London (Herts/Beds/Bucks) has some lovely countryside. It can be expensive but not all of it is.

Cornwall is full. Please consider staying where you are from/returning to your hometown.

I’m not so keen on Dorset - I know it’s lovely but Devon and Cornwall are the dream for me and where I feel I belong.

Well, it is. You won’t get a £500 mortgage. Or the sea.

Sorry OP but I think your husband is being sensible. The job opportunities in Devon or Cornwall are likely to be far more limited than in London - which could be a huge source of stress.

Cornwall is full. Please consider staying where you are from/returning to your hometown.

I’m from London and I don’t want to stay here!

Employment opportunities will be limited in Devon and Cornwall, although what were you doing before children workwise? If it's something in demand like nursing that also has a set pay structure regardless of location (albeit no London weighting) you'd probably find something. The only way it would be doable imo is if you could both secure work first. There are also a lot more commutable places than Kent.

DimidDavilby

😂 We’ll have no trouble here!

Well, it is. You won’t get a £500 mortgage. Or the sea.

Why not? I’ve found lots of coastal properties we could afford for that money.

I mean in the commuter belt.

Cornwall is full. Please consider staying where you are from/returning to your hometown

Haha is everyone from Cornwall as insufferable as they are on here?

@flaviaritt oh I see - apologies!

I don’t know anyone who left London and wished they hadn’t. When I left London (moved back to Scotland) my income doubled and my mortgage halved. My work experience from London was valued and I had a good choice of places to live.

I also know people who have moved to Hertfordshire and Kent and would say similar. You can’t beat having a bit of space, fresh air and disposable income!

I also know people who have moved to Hertfordshire and Kent and would say similar.

I wouldn’t want to live in Hertfordshire - I really want to be on the coast. Kent is ok but we’ve looked at places like Margate and Folkestone and I didn’t feel at home there. Deal is lovely but beyond our budget.

I don’t know anyone who left London and wished they hadn’t.

I’ve read quite a lot of posts on here where people have really regretted it. Fair enough but city living just isn’t for me!

I just want to give my DC the best life.

I’d love the coast, too. But realistically, OP, your DH is right, isn’t he? His income would be precarious anywhere on the coast, and you don’t work. I don’t want to pour cold water on it but it’s not the best thing to cling to something that isn’t likely to happen.

In my case my DH works (sort of) in the city. He earns a good wage (not a fortune) and I have a new career starting. It might be that we can move in ten years, or we might be stuck here. Let’s see how fed up he gets!

Go to the Stroud valleys. Totally stunning. Train to London. Community and hippy. Affordable. You can be by the sea in an hour and 20 minutes