To find that “I’m an empath” actually means I’m a complete attention seeker

[Covidchameleon]

Ok I’m being bitchy. And grumpy. But have seen this twice today used by completely people to completely justify being a drama queen.

To be fair in general - I tend to find that anyone who self proclaims them self as any personality type then tends to proceed to be irritating.

I think my main issue with the term 'empath', apart from it conjuring a mental image of a psychic alien, is that it is an identity, not a behaviour or a trait. 'Empaths' are participating in identity politics, which I consider generally to be a load of divisive, navel-gazing bunk.

Saying 'I am an empath' is all about the 'I'. It is not about describing a behaviour; the showing of sympathy or compassion towards others, as a result of empathising with them.

@IceniWarrior so you suggested I’m missing a brain cell or two - not very much “pulling women up” is it?
Also - you’re spectacularly missing the sentiment of most posters. We don’t all think we are different - that’s exactly the point.
Lastly while saying how empathetic you are you literally said me me me me me, and gave the exact ascribed a very abiatary “I’m the most stable person I know” label to yourself.

How would you know you’re the most stable - are you inside someone’s head?

This thread is depressingly spiteful. Not sure what I make of the whole empath thing, but just declaring someone an arsehole for making a comment about their personality is a bit off, even if that observation seems incorrect. There's a difference between saying that sort of thing to a friend and self proclaiming it on FB or going on and on about it.

@ohnomesandwiches yes of course there’s a difference with someone saying something in passing once. But that’s not what anyone is talking about is it.

I think all this thread shows is cattiness, arrogance, and the desperate need to be right. I guess you can't deny the opposite of empath exists. Interest points Covidchamelin.

YANBU. Empathy is a perfectly normal human trait. 'Being an empath' is made-up pyschobabble which people use to make themselves feel special and different.

Picking up minute changes in body language, tone of voice, speech patterns. Being sensitive to the emotions of others or changes in atmosphere, especially when thinking they may have been caused by you.

That is what normal human beings do. The vast, vast majority of us pick up on these tiny signals all the time. Even animals do it in some ways. It's really not a sign of being special or different. Not doing it would make you more unusual.

Can I throw my mother in?
Not sure how much of an “empath” she is with the living, but she’ll always chip in to tell you when she’s feeling the feelings of ghosts. Fortunately, the graveyard where her sister now lies was full of happy, contented ghosts - and that’s not always the case. She feels dead people 🙄

@youkiddingme has it.

The two worse people for this in my life just assume they know how you're feeling, neither actually check to see if they're correct.

And if you do correct them, then you're in "denial" about your feelings and they know better.

In reality they just assume you feel the way they would in that situation (in my case I would say they over react whereas I'm much more unaffected by things) and fair enough make a big deal over it and swoon all over it, but it's totally unnecessary and makes me feel awkward to get all that attention over what I consider nothing.

@Covidchameleon Well, it is in that quite a few posts have made reference to people having the audacity to comment on how they see themselves. And some have suggested people are always the opposite of what they say.

I agree that there are loads of attention seekers out there but some of posts this thread have gone over the score with policing what people are allowed to discuss. I've had loads of folk tell me that they are sensitive over the years. So what?

Not sure what I make of the whole empath thing, but just declaring someone an arsehole for making a comment about their personality is a bit off, even if that observation seems incorrect. There's a difference between saying that sort of thing to a friend and self proclaiming it on FB or going on and on about it

You clearly haven't met an 'empath' yet. We aren't talking about people that mention it in passing to a friend. Or don't mention it all at. This is about the person that needs to tell you as soon as they is an opportunity, because clearly they are very very special. Or life is very very difficult for them because they are an empath.

Once you meet one or two, you'll almost certainly understand.

Picking up minute changes in body language, tone of voice, speech patterns. Being sensitive to the emotions of others or changes in atmosphere, especially when thinking they may have been caused by you.

That is what normal human beings do. The vast, vast majority of us pick up on these tiny signals all the time. Even animals do it in some ways. It's really not a sign of being special or different. Not doing it would make you more unusual.

We tend to react to non verbal cues without realising it a lot of the time, people can describe a person gave them a 'feeling' - that's probably based on body language and facial expressions that we haven't even realised we've noted and responded to.
Between animals and humans it's a reward/punishment thing. For instance my dog knows when I'm sad, she knows the physical cues of crying and knows she'll get attention from me when I'm crying as I'll seek comfort from her. She gets rewarded by my attention when I'm crying, so that leads her to approach me if I'm crying. Others will see that as the dog knowing and empathising with me and wanting to give comfort.
Similarly with my horse, I've learned, probably mostly subconsciously, to read her body language. Not getting kicked, bitten or flattened relies on it. Horses read each others body language and react accordingly. They read human body language and react accordingly.

Sounds like someone who’s too stupid to realise that empathy is a normal human emotion.
Like people who claim to have a better insight into others than anyone else. They are usually too stupid to realise that no one needs to point out body language or facial expressions have meaning. They seem to think they’re the only ones who can read them. Eg the pp who can “read the room”, the majority of people can this isn’t unusual, in fact it’s so ordinary no one bothers to say it aloud.

It’s great being empathetic but most people are to a greater or lesser extent. Personally I think that people announcing it are as cringe as people proclaiming that they are ‘crazy’.

@OddHoleySocks

Not sure what I make of the whole empath thing, but just declaring someone an arsehole for making a comment about their personality is a bit off, even if that observation seems incorrect. There's a difference between saying that sort of thing to a friend and self proclaiming it on FB or going on and on about it

You clearly haven't met an 'empath' yet. We aren't talking about people that mention it in passing to a friend. Or don't mention it all at. This is about the person that needs to tell you as soon as they is an opportunity, because clearly they are very very special. Or life is very very difficult for them because they are an empath.

Once you meet one or two, you'll almost certainly understand.

Maybe I haven't met an empath yet. I have met a few patronising people though.

Surely all humans, bar certain psychological/personality disorders, are empathetic? Some more than others, sure. Empathy, as has already been pointed out, are from star trek. You have very empathetic people in the same way you have very intelligent people- while the fact remains that all humans are intelligent life.

Lol at 'empath'

I've clearly developed a good amount of empathy being a psychotherapist but 'empath' only exists in Star Trek

I think the word those special people are looking for is 'twat' or 'twat who's into fake woo shit'

Some people are just not that empathetuc though. They are stoic, cold, cynical, selfish, abrupt, brusque. I don't get all this hatred to a fantastuc quality. If normal is a scale then an empath is more generous and intuituve with their and others feelings that other 'normal' human beings. It doesn't mean they are angels or will never make mistakes or misunderstand some things. In fact i think its a bad qualitu because it ends up draining and hurting the poor empath as they tend to be too aware and too sensitive and absorb the vibes and energies given off by other people.

Why do you have such a problem with it? People have no problem saying they have a sense of humour, kind, great listener... what is your problem with empathy?! God knows we all could use some..and no not everyone is an empath!

I don't get all this hatred to a fantastuc quality. If normal is a scale then an empath is more generous and intuituve with their and others feelings that other 'normal' human beings

Well, that doesn't appear to be a very good description of the people that posters on this thread know who have claimed to be 'empaths'.

God knows we all could use some..and no not everyone is an empath!

No, because it's not a real thing. Yes of course some people show more empathy than others, in the same way that some people are more kind, funny, intelligent or generous than others. It's part of the normal spectrum of personality, it's not a separate personality type that needs a special faux-scientific title.

It's the splashy self-declaration that's the key giveaway. I'm an empath!, I just give too much of myself!, I'm just too much of a people pleaser!(Well it would please me if you fucked off...)

It's not that those qualities don't exist or are inherently bad, it's the grandiose announcements that are the sure mark of a twat.

Why do you have such a problem with it? People have no problem saying they have a sense of humour, kind, great listener... what is your problem with empathy?! God knows we all could use some..and no not everyone is an empath!

Again, nobody has a problem with someone saying they're empathic/empathetic. It's the concept of "an empath" which is some kind of supernatural being of light who screams at the Sistine Chapel. That's the attention seeking bollocks bit!

So what if they say empath? I know nothing of star wars but knew it must be a shorthand for empathetic. Language is dynamic. Shakespeare made up words. What is the problem? I really dont get it. Is this a pedant corner issue? I thought it was about personalities. Ah i give up it's a very hostile thread that could do with more empaths tbh.

If you have many people posting on FB that they are empaths, or they are coming up to you constantly to tell you they are, why don't you hide, defriend, ignore or avoid them? That way maybe some of your animosity will dissipate and you can move on with your life. Or if you enjoy knowing them so that you can bitch about them, maybe step back and ask yourself why. Or better still, chat to them about it.

Cant say I've ever seen anyone declare this. Had a few people declare themselves crazy etc, but theres no harm. Not something I would choose to do, but I'm not them.

Ooh it's an interesting thread. I think it depends on people's interpretations of what an empath is eg most of the descriptions I've read don't match my understanding of what an empath is. I think most people can empathise with others but empaths do it on a slightly higer level. I would describe myself as an empath as I can spookily pick up on other peoples emptions even when I've never met them/ can tell when people are lying etc.

@Smiths84

Ooh it's an interesting thread. I think it depends on people's interpretations of what an empath is eg most of the descriptions I've read don't match my understanding of what an empath is. I think most people can empathise with others but empaths do it on a slightly higer level. I would describe myself as an empath as I can spookily pick up on other peoples emptions even when I've never met them/ can tell when people are lying etc.

I never understand this - surely there could be loads of people who have lied to you but you didn't think they were, you never found out they were and so don't know you were wrong?

If you have many people posting on FB that they are empaths, or they are coming up to you constantly to tell you they are, why don't you hide, defriend, ignore or avoid them?

I've mostly come across them due to my line of work. Mostly on courses. Mostly that's the first thing they tell you when doing an icebreaker or when you speak to them on breaks. Difficult to avoid.

They certainly make it nowhere near my Facebook!