To thinking asking mothers educational level at booking appointment is shaming

[Ivybutterfly]

At my midwife booking appointment I was asked what age I left full time education. I remember the same question last time. They ask whether you have a degree or not. I found it rude and inappropriate. It is also irrelevant. I just sucked it up. My DH on the other hand was raging. He said it was shaming and disgusting. I agree. I think I am going to complain. Why so they ask such a rude question which has no relevance to pregnancy?

@flaviaritt

What did you think of the question ‘are you and the father related ?’ 😬

No!! They didn’t!

Now that one I was asked! But, while it's clearly quite an awkward question - I think the midwife apologised for asking it - you can see the medical relevance of it.

I don't remember if I was asked tbh...they obviously at least need to explain why they are asking!

it is just for statistics

when dc entered sixth form they were asked the same question

But, while it's clearly quite an awkward question - I think the midwife apologised for asking it - you can see the medical relevance of it.

I can, but I can see the medical relevance of “Do you frequently eat shit?” as well! Nobody asked me that either.

There’s a balance to be achieved here, I think.

I don't think it's shaming - but you obviously think that only reaching a certain level of education is shameful. Why do you think that is? and your DH's reaction of raging seems a little extreme. Would you even have batted an eyelid if he wasn't so upset by it?

@yetea I am from a working class background, and still identify as such even though I am a homeowner with a degree and earn a good amount of money so, yes they can!

*What did you think of the question ‘are you and the father related ?’ 😬

No!! They didn’t*

Cousin marriage is legal, and common in some cultures. It obviously has a significant impact on the baby’s health. So not an unreasonable question.

It’s a long time since my booking in appt, and I don’t remember the details, but I do remember the m/w prefacing quite a few questions with “sorry but I have to ask this...”. Plus the sending dh out to ask about DV.

It’s relevant. It isn’t an insult or “shaming” at all. It will be there for a reason.

It’s to analyse data and not to shame women. I’m surprised your DH jumped to that conclusion.

@Sophagain

For goodness sake, they asked me if my partner and I are related and I didn’t find that offensive! They asked if I’d had my genitals mutilated. They asked if I was on benefits and if I had a job or not. Were these questions designed to shame me? They asked if my boyfriend was happy and if anyone in my family was depressed. I could go on.

I'd forgotten the FGM question -- I wasn't actually asked it, as I assume the midwife thought it was statistically unlikely in a white Irish woman having her first pregnancy in her late 30s, but I could see it on my midwife's screen as she scrolled past. This was at a GP surgery in north London.

I was asked about domestic violence and educational attainment.

@Constance1 it is the opposite. Which is why I find the question rude. That is obvious.

It's not shaming and it's not irrelevant.

"People on here pretending it isn’t common for people to experience sensitivity about their education (not least because there is a clear link to social class) are being very obtuse indeed."

Yes, but you have to answer all sorts of personal question at the doctor's. They ask you what job you do, for example, which also has a clear link to social class.

I think you're overthinking this and taking offense where none is intended.

How did you feel about being asked if your husband hits you (it's asked in my area) ?

How do you feel about one of the blood tests they run is for syphilis ?

And it's a perfectly reasonable question to ask about being related to your husband - they mean blood relationship and it's quite common in some cultures for 1st cousins to marry which can lead to developmental problems for any children.

Questions about religion are intended to head off any offense later on, so for example if someone says they are a Jehovah's Witness there can be discussions up front about action to be taken in the event of heavy blood loss.

People - not everyone if out to shame you, get at you or do you down. You may not be able to instantly understand why a question has been asked, but that doesn't mean it's not a valid question.

It’s for statistical purposes. When used, your info will be anonymised and helps shape healthcare policy and sociological research.
Your outrage is a bit much.

Yes, but you have to answer all sorts of personal question at the doctor's. They ask you what job you do, for example, which also has a clear link to social class.

You don’t have to at all. They need to justify the collection of data. I have agreed (as above) that if this information triggers additional support, it’s reasonable to ask it.

[quote Ivybutterfly]@yetea I am from a working class background, and still identify as such even though I am a homeowner with a degree and earn a good amount of money so, yes they can![/quote]
Lol, I knew, just knew, you'd make sure everyone on this thread was aware of your qualifications at some point. 😂

@bluebluezoo

*What did you think of the question ‘are you and the father related ?’ 😬

No!! They didn’t*

Cousin marriage is legal, and common in some cultures. It obviously has a significant impact on the baby’s health. So not an unreasonable question.

It’s a long time since my booking in appt, and I don’t remember the details, but I do remember the m/w prefacing quite a few questions with “sorry but I have to ask this...”. Plus the sending dh out to ask about DV.

It’s relevant. It isn’t an insult or “shaming” at all. It will be there for a reason.

@tuesdayswell Oh I know the reasons it’s asked 😬- just wondered if it was as shocking as being asked if you have a degree

And actually, although it isn’t “shaming” (as in, deliberately so), it IS an intrusive question and they should explain their reason for asking.

I think there are quite a few questions that can fall into that category - but I only remember being uspet by them in thrid pg and I think it must be the way they were being asked as we'd moved area and there was a marked difference in attitude in MW.

@arethereanyleftatall Don’t forget salary and home-ownership!

"Asking a intrusive question about someone’s class will cause distress to some people.
It wasn’t a question about class "

I think it IS a question about class (education levels and class are closely related), but that there are good reasons for asking it. Lots of medical questions are 'intrusive'.

I just wish I’d have the spare time to become bothered by this.. I don’t think I’ve been asked in either of my two booking appointments however maybe indirectly via asking my occupation they would know my level of education.. but I wouldn’t have seen it as shaming

@flaviaritt

But they're trying to be nice aren't they? They're trying to identify who might need support.

What “support” do they get?

Well in that case I left school at 15 and have managed to successfully raise 3 kids mostly on my own, I don't think tarring everyone with the same brush based on their education or lack thereof is helpful.

@WanderlustWitch 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️❤️❤️

@arethereanyleftatall People were making assumptions. Rude ones. Read the thread through before being so rude. If it makes you feel better, it was an OU.