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Original poster

I was dumped for being on a zero-hour contract.

160 replies

zerohourperson · 09/11/2020 11:56

Hello,
I'm 26 and I'm a teacher who graduated 2 years ago and I have struggled to find a permanent job in the North West. So, I have been on supply which I love! The only thing I don't like is the inconsistency. I get good reviews from schools and I am regularly asked back to schools I have been to.

I am applying for permanent jobs and I have an interview next week. To be honest, with the amount of people applying for teaching jobs, having my own class feels a lifetime away. There always seems to be someone else who is a 'better fit' and the schools I regularly supply at are never hiring.

I have been busier than I expected despite covid, however at the same time there are some slower weeks than others and I do feel anxious sometimes. For example, no work today but I spend my time applying for jobs and doing some continuous provision and I start a masters in January as I felt, with covid, now would be the perfect time to start an online-masters.

Boyfriend is also on a zero hours contract but in factory work. I have noticed he has been quieter with me lately but didn't think much of it.
We don't live together but he rang me this morning for our usual good morning phone call and he was being really short with me. After I asked what was wrong, he told me he isn't happy and one of the main reasons is that we're both on zero-hour contracts and he doesn't know how we will ever get our own house and he would rather at least one of us have a permanent job.

I have savings (around £4000) and I am quite careful with money and i have made these savings up with supply. When I started supply after being a student, I had -£900 in my bank account.

Anyway, of course his reason for breaking up with me may be absolute rubbish and it could be something else, but he basically said that because we're both zero-hour contracts it won't work.

I am trying so hard to find a permanent job and better myself with CPD and learning, I feel an absolute failure now :( I have been crying all morning.

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 09/11/2020 11:59

Sounds like you are better off without him tbh. What's wrong with him getting a proper contracted job? it shouldn't just sit with you. And your time will come so he's shooting himself in the foot really.

Dixiechickonhols · 09/11/2020 11:59

It’s just an excuse. Don’t listen to him. He wants to break up. If you worked full time he would have said he didn’t see you enough or it’s not working it’s me not you.
It’s natural to be upset but don’t take it to heart. Keep plugging away. A masters sounds like a positive.

AnotherDelphinium · 09/11/2020 12:00

You’re not a failure, you’re absolutely fantastic Flowers

He’s obviously not being truthful. Maybe he’s met someone else, or he’s worried that you’re far brighter and better than him and he’s punching too much. Everything happens for a reason.

Well done on your CPD, you’ll have more time to concentrate on your masters now, and without someone tying you down to a particular location, as a teacher you could literally go anywhere in the country.

Onwards and upwards, you are awesome Star

Yesmate · 09/11/2020 12:02

He sounds like a dick. Concentrate on your teaching, your upcoming interview and your masters.
Move on, you won’t regret it.

AlrightTreacle · 09/11/2020 12:03

He sounds like a knob. What a crap excuse for breaking up with you, at least you have a professional qualification.

Have a good old fashioned cry, ring a friend, eat chocolate, watch Legally Blonde, then get back to preparing for your interview next week. Good luck!

Original poster
zerohourperson · 09/11/2020 12:03

Thanks everybody

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 09/11/2020 12:03

You can get a mortgage on a zero hours contract.

It's the most obvious poor excuse I've ever heard, but I think you're better off without him.

AlrightTreacle · 09/11/2020 12:04

Also have you looked into teaching abroad at all? Now you're young free and single make the most of it!

Thehop · 09/11/2020 12:05

Oh my god you’re soooooo much better than him! You have wonderful prospects and are in a really good position.

Please don’t go grovelling. He’s a loser. Please look him up in 10 years on Facebook. You’ll be so glad you didn’t stay with him.

SquashKosh · 09/11/2020 12:12

What a nobber! He's done you a favour. Now you can move on and find someone who is worthy of you.

ArnoldBee · 09/11/2020 12:14

Mmmm so what's he doing about a permanent contract then?

GolfForBrains · 09/11/2020 12:14

Yeah, he didn't dump you for being on a zero hours contract - that makes no sense! He dumped you for another reason, whether or not valid, but doesn't have the guts to tell you the real one. You have a profession and qualifications and are trying to get a permanent role - what's he doing?

Fluffyscamp · 09/11/2020 12:16

You are making the most out of your situation. You are managing to save a significant amount and using the quiet times to look for more permanent work and further your qualifications. I would say that is the total opposite of a failure and actually you sound like you’re doing amazingly well, especially in the middle of the chaos that is this year.

Regardless of whether or not that is the true reason he has broken things off it sounds like you are well rid. You can do better than either someone who sees it as your responsibility to provide a stable income or someone who hasn’t got the guts to be honest about his reasons for breaking things off. Flowers

flaviaritt · 09/11/2020 12:18

What rubbish! Sorry, OP. Flowers

SengaMac · 09/11/2020 12:19

He wants someone to fit in with his expectations.
I think you've been lucky not to find yourself supporting him financially to have a life he wants.

nevermorelenore · 09/11/2020 12:22

Doesn't sound like someone I'd want a future with. Imagine if down the line, one of you loses your job, or you have to live on a reduced income due to illness, maternity leave etc. If he can't handle your current situation then he's not going to be able to deal with that.

Enrosadira · 09/11/2020 12:22

It’s an excuse and a lame one as that.
Good riddance.

Chocaholic9 · 09/11/2020 12:23

That is such a bullshit reason to dump someone.

He's not much of a man if he's really dumping you for that reason. How about he goes out and finds a permanent full time job? Most good men will make sure they do their part to bring financial security to their family.

I think he's looking for someone wealthier. Either that or he's using this as an excuse. You've had a lucky escape either way.

longwayoff · 09/11/2020 12:23

Good escape OP, congratulate yourself you no longer have to put up with him draining your resources, he's a weasel and you are free. One day you will see him slouching along with a new partner and a couple of kids. Pull up, say how lovely to see you, sorry can't give you a lift and drive away laughing. Phew!

Mellonsprite · 09/11/2020 12:23

It’s an excuse unless you both 100% think you will be in zero hours contracts for the rest of your lives?
You are in the better position as you have a decent amount of savings and applying for professional roles. Sod him!

DontBeShelfish · 09/11/2020 12:24

Why can't he get a full-time job, why is it on you? Sounds like an excuse. You've potentially dodged a bullet there OP, imagine if he was being that shitty with you about your job and you owned a home together?

WildfirePonie · 09/11/2020 12:24

and he would rather at least one of us have a permanent job.

So... why doesn't he get a permanent job?

Sounds like a bull shit excuse imo. Hope you're ok OP.

Mellonsprite · 09/11/2020 12:26

I was once dumped because my ex-bf wanted to concentrate on his work and passing an exam, and it was too distracting having a girlfriend at the same time. He was shagging someone else - and I subsequently realised he was an annoying nob head. His new shag realised soon enough too. Again a luck escape!

Original poster
zerohourperson · 09/11/2020 12:27

He said his factory work is different to my supply teaching as although they are both zero-hour contracts, he gets 5 days a week whereas there are some weeks where my work is quieter. I happily accept TA work aswell when things are quiet so it's not as if I'm putting my nose up at anything. I want to work.
Thanks for the comments everyone. I was expecting a lot of people to agree with him and making me seem a failure, so I feel a bit better :)

OP posts:
Dozer · 09/11/2020 12:27

What a shock.

As PPs say, your ex was dishonest about his reasons for breaking up.

Or if he was honest, and was only interested in you/women to do better than him economically in order to benefit him, you’re still well rid!

Don’t let his actions and words knock your career confidence when you’ve done so much work to get where you are!