I was dumped for being on a zero-hour contract.

[zerohourperson]

Hello,
I'm 26 and I'm a teacher who graduated 2 years ago and I have struggled to find a permanent job in the North West. So, I have been on supply which I love! The only thing I don't like is the inconsistency. I get good reviews from schools and I am regularly asked back to schools I have been to.

I am applying for permanent jobs and I have an interview next week. To be honest, with the amount of people applying for teaching jobs, having my own class feels a lifetime away. There always seems to be someone else who is a 'better fit' and the schools I regularly supply at are never hiring.

I have been busier than I expected despite covid, however at the same time there are some slower weeks than others and I do feel anxious sometimes. For example, no work today but I spend my time applying for jobs and doing some continuous provision and I start a masters in January as I felt, with covid, now would be the perfect time to start an online-masters.

Boyfriend is also on a zero hours contract but in factory work. I have noticed he has been quieter with me lately but didn't think much of it.
We don't live together but he rang me this morning for our usual good morning phone call and he was being really short with me. After I asked what was wrong, he told me he isn't happy and one of the main reasons is that we're both on zero-hour contracts and he doesn't know how we will ever get our own house and he would rather at least one of us have a permanent job.

I have savings (around £4000) and I am quite careful with money and i have made these savings up with supply. When I started supply after being a student, I had -£900 in my bank account.

Anyway, of course his reason for breaking up with me may be absolute rubbish and it could be something else, but he basically said that because we're both zero-hour contracts it won't work.

I am trying so hard to find a permanent job and better myself with CPD and learning, I feel an absolute failure now :( I have been crying all morning.

Wow. He is NOT good boyfriend/husband material. Awful. When you get that permanent job do not take him back. He only wants you for your job security??! What a dick. See this as a blessing in disguise. You can now go anywhere! Yay! Why don’t you move somewhere fun with lots of youngsters and date lots of lovely young men. Try Brighton or Bristol or Guildford. Somewhere with lots going on and forget that loser.

@Angrycat2768

Enjoy your freedom while you are young. You dont need to be tied to a man. Especially one who seems like he wants you to bankroll him for life. If you are doing supply, take it as a bonus. You're not tied down to any job, you could decide to take a week off in term time if you like . He sounds like the type who would decide you should have kids and hed be a stay at home dad, which would involve him playing x box all day and you having to get home to do the housework!

^^ This.

You will get over this, though it may take a bit of a while as it was out of the blue. I think he may also have realised he is punching above his weight and was getting in before you could. Good luck for the future, you are doing so well for yourself, as someone else said, I don't know you but I'm really proud of what you've achieved!

Your ex sounds like a pillock. He’s not being honest with you and the excuse he’s come up with is pathetic.

Lots of time to meet someone much better. Good luck in finding a permanent job.

I feel so sorry for him. He wanted to be a cocklodger and he's worried he won't be able to be one. You are very cruel to him, OP!

If you have ever fancied working abroad, now is the time (when there's a vaccine) to do it. Tell that waste of space to do one, and as a previous poster said, look him up on social media in 10 years' time and thank your lucky stars.

This is life readying you for a brand new start. Just watch. Something huge and exciting is coming your way. Soon.

Hi Op

Don't rush into a another relantship
However tempting it may seem.

Embrace single life, I know with Covid 19 its bit tricky,Arkward with on/off lockdowns situation.

Look after yourself such as eating healthly not just comfort eating on
Junk snack foods.
Eat healthy comfort foods such as soups etc.

Pamper yourself such as visiting health spa or having a home made pamper session at home.

Have a walk visit a park etc,nature allways uplifts your spirits.

Listen to good music,funny good TV shows/stand up comedians.

Listen to good music.

YouTube is real good for this type of thing, its helped keep me sane with Lokedown.

Check out face book/YouTube/ the internet to learn new stuff,such as doing online workshops/courses etc.

Also check out explore on YouTube pastimes you are curious, interested in, or just have a go, have fun at finding out,learning new things

Also have a go,have fun getting into creative arts its like active mediation when you get into that type of thing,(you don't have to perfect at this type of thing too.

Mediation is good think to get into it only 10 or 15 mins to do it and feel the benefits its like having refreshing nap.

Mediation helps you to think think with clarity.

To be fair, I have seen a lot of threads from women asking whether right to be with a low earning or poor career etc and consensus is... big careful!

Appreciate this bit different but not completely.

Three years to end it like this though? Be absolutely honest OP... was this a genuinely loving and close relationship that had legs?

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Celebrate the fact he has dumped you and showed his true colours.

I once had a boyfriend who dumped me as I took a lower paid, less professional job (I wanted less stress), he seemed to get off on telling his mates about my job so when I took a rubbish job he couldn’t handle it 😐.

Sounds like a wannabe cocklodger to me! Lucky escape!

@Moomin12345

It's gonna sound sexist, but a man should have a permanent source of income if he wants a family and shouldn't expect to be kept by a woman. That could be have been a cowardly cover story though. If you it's not, even better riddance! Chin up.

I can't believe I just read this, in the 21st century. Jesus wept

Why can't he be the one who has a permanent job, why do you have to be the one! You are better off without him- agree with other comments. I know it must be very difficult for you right now but time will heal you and you will soon realise you are really better off without him and hopefully you will have someone who values you as a person not with your job situation!

I'm sorry you are going through this but although it is a cliché, you are better off without him. Long term relationships thrive on being there for each other during the tough times. He may be panicking due to lockdown, but a good man wouldn't behave that way.

As others have said, it sounds like he thought his luck was in, meeting a teacher who would have a steady income letting him off the hook. But surely as a supply teacher you earn more per hour than he does at a factory. Don't your three or four days equate to his five in income?

I agree that working abroad could be a possibility. I know someone who teaches in Kuwait. She seems to have loads of free time - I don't think there's the endless prep and regulations paperwork over there as she spends every evening on a creative hobby that has almost become a second career, she's got so productive. And she's always down at the beach with the families of the children she teaches. Every vacation she travels all over the world, so she must be well paid. In a way it seems like a dream life.

If that was genuinely his reason for breaking up with you then he's a total knob and if it wasn't he's a coward either way cry a bit, phone up a friend for some comfort and then wash him out of your life, you're going places, don't listen to him

You’ve got a good future ahead and you are have a firm plan for your career. I know you’ve been blindsided by this but I am sure that one day you will see this as a positive. Anybody who can throw away three years for such a silly reason doesn’t deserve you.

Count your blessings that you are now rid of him, he has only used zero hours as an excuse, any one who can save is to be admired and you are trying to better yourself, he is aware of this which proves he's lying as to the reason for dumping you. Best revenge? Live a good life. Continue studying, teaching, maybe try a year abroad, widen your horizons and you'll look back and thank him. Getting dumped is shitty, I was dumped at my best friends wedding years ago, he said he didn't like my friends and left the wedding early. It was an excuse which he admitted years later, he wanted to go to Australia for year with his mates and didn't know how to tell me. I got on with life straight away even though I was so hurt, I even enjoyed the wedding!! You are worth more than a guy who after three years breaks up over the phone using a shitty excuse, move on, be happy and be glad you're not married etc.

Sounds like he enjoys putting you down (especially as you expected us to agree!). Did he do it a lot?

Well when we got our mortgage, about 3 years ago, I don't think our mortgage provider (Halifax) asked what type of employment contract we was on. My DH was self employed and had to provide I think 2/3 years tax returns and I am on a fairly low paid part time job so had to provide 12 months payslips. I think they were more concerned with your average annual earnings, especially if SE, and how much deposit you can put forward. It's not like they asked for a copy of my employment contract or anything.
It sounds like a rubbish reason to dump someone anyway. We all have hopes and ambitions for our future but if you love each other, you work it out together. Keep doing what you're doing, it sounds like you are switched on and in a comfortable position to move on from your nobhead boyfriend

As a supply teacher, presumably you are self employed or under an umbrella company with your agency, not on a zero hours contract, so you're fine with getting a mortgage.

He wants you to "get a job" and not him? You have had a fantastically lucky escape. This was my first husband. I was successful and hardworking. He was a manual worker who went to uni to "better himself" (barely scraped through anything due to laziness) and then "couldn't get a job" (after I threw him out for sleeping with my best friend") which could probably be accounted for by the fact that the job application forms were found down the back of the bookcases when I move out! You are very fortunate to find out what he is like before you settle down with him. Good riddance.

Though I agree with others, don't think mortgage and property is the be all and end all. Maybe you have other things you want to do, and of course teaching abroad sounds like lots of fun. The world is your oyster, enjoy it.

Anyone want to bet this guy has found someone who seems like a better deal?

@RedToothBrush

Anyone want to bet this guy has found someone who seems like a better deal?

Yeh found himself an heiress 😂

Sorry to hear about your breakup. Was he cheating?

Just sounds like a shit excuse for dumping you that's all. I'm sure there's more to it that he's not letting on.

You’ve got a career and he doesn’t, and he’s complaining that you both need permeant jobs. Why doesn’t he concentrate on sorting himself out, instead of riding in your coattails.