I was dumped for being on a zero-hour contract.

[zerohourperson]

Hello,
I'm 26 and I'm a teacher who graduated 2 years ago and I have struggled to find a permanent job in the North West. So, I have been on supply which I love! The only thing I don't like is the inconsistency. I get good reviews from schools and I am regularly asked back to schools I have been to.

I am applying for permanent jobs and I have an interview next week. To be honest, with the amount of people applying for teaching jobs, having my own class feels a lifetime away. There always seems to be someone else who is a 'better fit' and the schools I regularly supply at are never hiring.

I have been busier than I expected despite covid, however at the same time there are some slower weeks than others and I do feel anxious sometimes. For example, no work today but I spend my time applying for jobs and doing some continuous provision and I start a masters in January as I felt, with covid, now would be the perfect time to start an online-masters.

Boyfriend is also on a zero hours contract but in factory work. I have noticed he has been quieter with me lately but didn't think much of it.
We don't live together but he rang me this morning for our usual good morning phone call and he was being really short with me. After I asked what was wrong, he told me he isn't happy and one of the main reasons is that we're both on zero-hour contracts and he doesn't know how we will ever get our own house and he would rather at least one of us have a permanent job.

I have savings (around £4000) and I am quite careful with money and i have made these savings up with supply. When I started supply after being a student, I had -£900 in my bank account.

Anyway, of course his reason for breaking up with me may be absolute rubbish and it could be something else, but he basically said that because we're both zero-hour contracts it won't work.

I am trying so hard to find a permanent job and better myself with CPD and learning, I feel an absolute failure now :( I have been crying all morning.

Let’s have a think about this. You have qualified as a teacher, currently have regular supply work at a time when there are job shortages and have saved up 4K during this frankly horrendous time. He (catch of the century) has an unskilled factory job with very little chance of improving on that unless he restrains or looks for employment elsewhere.

Yet somehow you feel like shit about this relationship coming to an end!?

First things first that is a dick move and anyone who could throw three years away without even a conversation with the person they love has shown their true colours and their treatment of me would kill any feelings because I obviously didn’t know person like I thought I did.

You really want someone who part of their life plan is to get a partner they can rely on financially without any thought that they should looking to secure their own permanent employment so they can rely on themselves for their future.

Honestly I know you have been with him three years and so obviously you must care deeply but he doesn’t want to be a team or be in an equal partnership, he wants you to be the responsible one like your his mum not his partner and it’s better to know that now before kids and mortgage and marriage!

It think it's exactly right that he's looking for someone who can support him financially because he has no intention of improving his own circumstances!

Don't lose hope of finding a job op. Schools need good teachers like you. Use this time to hone your skills, and when the right job comes along you'll hit the ground running

@Thehop

Oh my god you’re soooooo much better than him! You have wonderful prospects and are in a really good position.

Please don’t go grovelling. He’s a loser. Please look him up in 10 years on Facebook. You’ll be so glad you didn’t stay with him.

This is So true. And funny. I bet in ten years you'll have job security and maybe a masters and somebody who would be happy to support you if you hit a rough patch, or just......... had a baby.

If you can be arsed looking him up in ten years, you will think, phew.

I second those saying work abroad. I teach in Switzerland. Salaries are 3 or 4 times UK teacher salary rates. Overseas schools LOVE UK teachers. We are seen as among the best in the world.

Nah he just doesn’t want to have sex with you. If he did he wouldn’t bin you off for having the same type of contract as him. He’s lyyyyin.

He sounds like a right waste of space and he was punching in the first place! More than likely he was hoping that you would have a full time career and you would be the one to secure a mortgage etc. While he contributed dribs and drabs off his zero hour factory job. A free loader basically.

He's done you a favour girl, no more dead weight around your neck.

Good luck with the job hunt!

You have a lucky break here, even though it didn't seem like it at first. Imagine if you were in a position where you were more involved and committed. You would have invested and wasted your time, money, hopes and dreams on somebody not worth it. Someone limited and unable to see real value.

You dodged one.

He can't cope with the fact that you are more sorted secure and accomplished than he is and so he's putting you down and crushing you to make himself feel better
You're too good for him so he's done you a favour really 😊
It is very painful but you will recover 💐
( and he will still be a loser)

OP, it might not feel like it now, but you’ll be fine. At 26 you can do whatever you want, without Factory Bloke in tow. Any number of countries have vacancies for qualified British teachers. He’s done you a favour, even though you aren’t seeing it that way just yet.

Awe sorry it's a dumb ass excuse to dump you, for whatever reason he had, maybe his head has been turned by another Roman who actually has a house? But what a fuck move. He's basically made you feel really really shit about yourself when he could have just been honest.

Eh?
^dick move and Woman obviously...

Wait, so he works in a factory on a zero hour contract...but you’ve been to uni, got out of debt and have amazing career prospects? And YOU feel like the loser? No no no!

You are in the better position to own a house in the future.

You will have a career in teaching and are on track to achieve this. Since you qualified you have have actively built up your CV while you seek a permanent position. You will get there.

You have also been saving.

Sounds like he wants you to provide, rather than improving your joint prospects of home ownership by getting a career of his own.

He has just done you a massive favour by showing you exactly who he is .

Good luck with your future plans OP - you sound like you’re on it

@Joswis

I second those saying work abroad. I teach in Switzerland. Salaries are 3 or 4 times UK teacher salary rates. Overseas schools LOVE UK teachers. We are seen as among the best in the world.

This or something like it might be a perfect opportunity for you to have a couple of years of adventure while gaining not just a decent wage but great experience for future and your cv.

You have just been given freedom from having to make decisions while considering someone else, you don’t currently have a permanent role you need to worry about leaving and you haven’t mentioned children or a mortgage so it might the perfect time to think about having a year or so that you may remember with happiness for the rest of your life but in the future would be completely impossible once you’re life responsibilities change!

Obviously brexit and the pandemic are complicating factors at the moment!

What an absolute crock of shite he is talking - you have properly dodged a bullet there!! You sound more worthy than him in every conceivable way and though times are hard at the moment you have prospects and the chance of progression, you are going to do brilliantly, and you will look back one day and realise what a lucky escape you've had from this nobhead. It's awful when you are young and in love and it doesn't work out as you hoped, but trust me that over time you will see this situation clearly for what it is, once you've had some time and distance.

I know it probably doesn't feel like it but pp are right, he has done you a huge favour.
You seem to understand that if we want things in life we need to work towards them ourselves.
You have been saving, getting experience and work, building up your CPD, signed up for a masters!
What's he been doing? Turning up for work on the five days he gets it and when they slow down and he only gets three what then?
The best partner is someone who adds to your life not someone who wants you to achieve in lieu of them!

1. there is an OW
2. he was planning to be a cocklodger and it not going to work out with you

Oh fuck it, I'm not going to sound very nice.

He works in a factory? I assume as an unskilled worker? And hes dumped you for your 0 hours contract?

In this situation, you are trying. You have been educated, you're out there working, trying to continue with training to make your prospects better as time goes on

What is he doing? How is he seeking to improve the situation?

In 10 years time you will thank your lucky stars, because this situation reads like you are a motivated, hard working individual who has been too concerned with how you can make the best out of the current (very shit situation!) And he on the other hand, hasnt educated himself, isnt making strides forward, and has figured out how this is all your fault.

Please go back, read your original post. The qualities you are showing, are the qualities to look for in a partner next time around.

You deserve so much more.

And yes, you would be unreasonable if you let this get to you, your life will improve, you'll end up with your own class, a stable contract, happy and doing well in life, all by yourself.

You may both be on zero hours but you have the better job and the higher earning power. You are still young. You will get that permanent contract in the end. Sounds like you have a positive attitude, resilience, are keeping up with CPD and an MA is a great idea.

He is the one holding you back, you seem much more ambitious. Don't feel shit about yourself. You had a lucky escape. You might meet someone nice on the masters! Someone with the same passion for education.

This man is telling you who he is
I think he is a person who won't have your back but expects you to have his
He's not looking like good partnership material ....

His loss OP. You are the one who has a profession and a viable career ahead of you.

Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet. You are only 26, you have plenty of time to meet someone better.

His excuse for breaking up with me over the phone was because we are on lockdown he of course can't see me in person. According to him, he only started thinking about this properly when he had time to himself over the weekend and he had to tell me ASAP.
I doubt over the weekend he suddenly thought "relationship is over!" Surely he would've had an incline that things weren't working when he saw me before lockdown last week?

I would love to work abroad! I considered it after my PGCE but I thought I should complete NQT year first. However, NQT has taken much longer than I thought, especially with the schools closed from March-September. I've spoken to other supply teachers who said it took them around 3 years to complete.
I then considered even trying to Thailand as I thought that would be exciting.
However, I would need to research more as not sure how some countries feel about NQT's.

It’s an excuse and he wanted out of the relationship. Couples in a good relationship support each other to meet their individual and joint goals.
It’s not like there’s a deadline for either of you to get permanent work and a property.