I was dumped for being on a zero-hour contract.

[zerohourperson]

Hello,
I'm 26 and I'm a teacher who graduated 2 years ago and I have struggled to find a permanent job in the North West. So, I have been on supply which I love! The only thing I don't like is the inconsistency. I get good reviews from schools and I am regularly asked back to schools I have been to.

I am applying for permanent jobs and I have an interview next week. To be honest, with the amount of people applying for teaching jobs, having my own class feels a lifetime away. There always seems to be someone else who is a 'better fit' and the schools I regularly supply at are never hiring.

I have been busier than I expected despite covid, however at the same time there are some slower weeks than others and I do feel anxious sometimes. For example, no work today but I spend my time applying for jobs and doing some continuous provision and I start a masters in January as I felt, with covid, now would be the perfect time to start an online-masters.

Boyfriend is also on a zero hours contract but in factory work. I have noticed he has been quieter with me lately but didn't think much of it.
We don't live together but he rang me this morning for our usual good morning phone call and he was being really short with me. After I asked what was wrong, he told me he isn't happy and one of the main reasons is that we're both on zero-hour contracts and he doesn't know how we will ever get our own house and he would rather at least one of us have a permanent job.

I have savings (around £4000) and I am quite careful with money and i have made these savings up with supply. When I started supply after being a student, I had -£900 in my bank account.

Anyway, of course his reason for breaking up with me may be absolute rubbish and it could be something else, but he basically said that because we're both zero-hour contracts it won't work.

I am trying so hard to find a permanent job and better myself with CPD and learning, I feel an absolute failure now :( I have been crying all morning.

I think he's done you a massive favour tbh.

You're well rid of the loser.

If that’s something he really cares about then it warrants a discussion about future ambitions, dreams and aims. Those should include his own plans to help him get what he wants. Dumping you because you’re on zero hours is tantamount to saying that he intends to stay on zero hours forever and needs a partner who has permanent employment to provide him with his financial security.
It’s either bullshit, in which case he’s a cowardly liar and you’ve had a lucky escape or it’s true in which case he wants someone to sponge off and you’ve had a lucky escape. Sorry OP.

@AlrightTreacle

Also have you looked into teaching abroad at all? Now you're young free and single make the most of it!

I know a couple who teach abroad, now that their DC are grown. They do a couple of years in one place then move on to somewhere else.

You are so much better off without him OP I promise. Even if that reason was real (I very much doubt it is and it's an excuse). Real long term partnerships can often wax and wane with different financial situations.

When DP met me I was a high earner with huge amounts of lovely add ons like company cars. Now due to childcare need I'm out of employed work , writing a book , consulting online and going back to university to retrain. He has supported 100% and when I discussed maybe I should go back to the hated high earning jobs he stopped me. Importantly he is not a saint , he knows there have been times where he earns less and others where he earns more and I have supported him. This is normal. This is how it should be. Your sorry excuse for an ex has no concept of a true partnership.

Life is full of ups and downs and you want your partner to be exactly that. Your partner, by your side lifting you up when you need it and supporting and you do the same when he needs it. Trust me you absolutely deserve more. When you are ready I hope you see this as a huge bullet dodge.

When you buy that house or whatever it is you want to do , hold your head up high you did it without him.

ccourse it is

sounds like he wants to be a cocklodger and you dont fit the bill as the breadwinner

Well hes a liar isn’t he. Plus its better he leaves now than in 6, 12, 18 months etc.

While supply must be frustrating at times it is providing vital opportunities to continue to develop your classroom management etc. Its better to remain in supply as you’re developing your skills for when you do gain a teaching job, compared to taking a non-teaching fulltime job.

What an arsehole!
As you would like a permanent role, I rather hope he’s invoked the law of sod and you now get one
(Don’t take him back though!!)

It’s unlikely to be the real reason - and if it was, he’d still be a dick either way.

You’re doing really well, schools that want you back, savings, gaining loads of experience in different schools, got your masters lined up...

Honestly, you’ve outgrown him anyway.

It's gonna sound sexist, but a man should have a permanent source of income if he wants a family and shouldn't expect to be kept by a woman. That could be have been a cowardly cover story though. If you it's not, even better riddance! Chin up.

@Moomin12345

It's gonna sound sexist, but a man should have a permanent source of income if he wants a family and shouldn't expect to be kept by a woman. That could be have been a cowardly cover story though. If you it's not, even better riddance! Chin up.

Both men and women should, just my opinion, but I think everyone should be as financially independent as possible. No matter their relationship status, number of children etc.

Sounds like rubbish to me. If he wanted to be with you, your job wouldn't matter. And he's be looking for more secure work too.consider it a bullet dodged, op.

Agree 100% with Cocomarine.

And you sound amazing - keep going and you will get there!

It may not feel like it now, but it sounds as if you’ve had a lucky escape.

I agree with PP that the zero hours thing is just an excuse. If it hadn’t been that it would have been something else. It’s a ridiculous excuse but it’s the one he chose.

IMO the only true reason for breaking up with someone (abuse aside) is that you just aren’t that into them. We dress it up in a multitude of reasons and excuses but it always boils down to that.

You sound so dynamic and determined that I am sure you will get your dream permanent role soon. I hope you also find a wonderful life partner who will appreciate your resilience and optimism.

@knittingaddict

You can get a mortgage on a zero hours contract.

It's the most obvious poor excuse I've ever heard, but I think you're better off without him.

I think you'll find it extremely difficult without a large deposit.

If he loved you your current situation wouldn't even factor. There's another reason sorry. Chin up and move on, you're worth more than that

Do he wants a partner on a permanent contract but he's ok to be in zero hours, what a joke why doesn't he go out and look for a permanent contract. Personally it doesn't seem the real reason but I think you sound like your better than him anyway, onwards and upwards for you I think. You'll get your perfect job teaching I'm sure of it good luck xx

Yep, you would have ended up with a cocklodger. Fingers crossed like a previous poster has said, now you get a permanent job but if he gets wind of it don't take him back, he's shown his true colours!

Well, I think you need a little translation here:

He says: "we're both on zero-hour contracts and I don't know how we'll ever get our own house"
What he means: I'm not comfortable with the fact that I can't rely on you to bring in the finances

He says: "I would rather at least one of us have a permanent job"
He means: "I don't want to go to the effort of changing my job so you need to get a permanent job so that I have a guaranteed income and don't have to worry about long term job security."

Having said all that, it does sound like an excuse. After three years? I'm sorry OP. What a twat.

He’s using it as an excuse, and if he isn’t he wants to be kept not an equal! I like someone’s idea unthread of work abroad

I think hes a Dickhead! You are a young professional ,looking for a FT Teaching post .He works zero hours in a Factory. WTF! You are much better off without him OP .I think he feels threatened by the fact that you are a young Professional ,while he is Factory Fodder(Sorry dont mean any disrespect to Factory Workers obv ,but hes a prize one knob!)Keep looking for a long term role .Can you relocate at all? or maybe try somewhere in Europe ? I think you have dodged a cascade of bullets here!

@nevermorelenore

Doesn't sound like someone I'd want a future with. Imagine if down the line, one of you loses your job, or you have to live on a reduced income due to illness, maternity leave etc. If he can't handle your current situation then he's not going to be able to deal with that.

Exactly this, OP.

You are doing brilliantly, best of luck with your future plans!

Wondering what he is doing to improve his own situation. He may get 5 days work a week every week now, but that could change at any point. This is the nature of zero hour contracts.

Keep doing what you are doing for yourself, things will work out. It may not feel like it now but you will be glad you found out his true colours in the long run.

As others have said, your being on a zero hour contract has limited his own plans to be a future cocklodger. You are better of without.

Wow, that is awful. It's an excuse, of course. He expects more success from you than he is managing to obtain himself!??? How entitled and ridiculous of him.

You sound like you have your head screwed on. I have always had savings to fall back on too, I had a lot of jobs that gave me no security but luckily being sensible enough to save in the better days helped me not to hit the wall. You will get there in the end and you'll either be better on your own or you'll meet somebody who won't hold YOU to a higher standard than he holds himself!

@GabsAlot

ccourse it is

sounds like he wants to be a cocklodger and you dont fit the bill as the breadwinner

My thoughts exactly. What he actually means is he wants you to earn more to provide the mortgage and lifestyle he wants, and because through no fault of your own you can't, he's dumping you so that he can move on to some other woman who will.