I was dumped for being on a zero-hour contract.

[zerohourperson]

Hello,
I'm 26 and I'm a teacher who graduated 2 years ago and I have struggled to find a permanent job in the North West. So, I have been on supply which I love! The only thing I don't like is the inconsistency. I get good reviews from schools and I am regularly asked back to schools I have been to.

I am applying for permanent jobs and I have an interview next week. To be honest, with the amount of people applying for teaching jobs, having my own class feels a lifetime away. There always seems to be someone else who is a 'better fit' and the schools I regularly supply at are never hiring.

I have been busier than I expected despite covid, however at the same time there are some slower weeks than others and I do feel anxious sometimes. For example, no work today but I spend my time applying for jobs and doing some continuous provision and I start a masters in January as I felt, with covid, now would be the perfect time to start an online-masters.

Boyfriend is also on a zero hours contract but in factory work. I have noticed he has been quieter with me lately but didn't think much of it.
We don't live together but he rang me this morning for our usual good morning phone call and he was being really short with me. After I asked what was wrong, he told me he isn't happy and one of the main reasons is that we're both on zero-hour contracts and he doesn't know how we will ever get our own house and he would rather at least one of us have a permanent job.

I have savings (around £4000) and I am quite careful with money and i have made these savings up with supply. When I started supply after being a student, I had -£900 in my bank account.

Anyway, of course his reason for breaking up with me may be absolute rubbish and it could be something else, but he basically said that because we're both zero-hour contracts it won't work.

I am trying so hard to find a permanent job and better myself with CPD and learning, I feel an absolute failure now :( I have been crying all morning.

He probably hoped that he can coerce you into giving up your ambition and taking on a menial job with no prospects... that would make him feel sooo much better, it would save him from the pain of being bested by a woman

If he wants one of you to have a contracted job why doesn't he find one?! Cheeky twat.

You're better off without. Bet there's plenty of hot, young and single teachers in your schools waiting to meet you.

You’ve escaped a bullet there OP.

Can I ask what you teach? I’m in the south and my school can’t recruit for love nor money as there simply aren’t enough candidates. I’m amazed that the north is overrun lucky bastards Could you think about moving within the UK for a job?

Hi OP

I'm a teacher too and I am so sorry you're going through this. A break up is hideous. I was in a not too dissimilar position to you many years ago. I came through it and so can you.

Maybe you should take this opportunity to reflect and, if you have no children or family commitments that keep you in one area, maybe consider moving elsewhere to where you can get permanent job in teaching. If you are not a home owner and you rent, then maybe look up jobs that you are qualified for and be brave! It sounds as if you're at a crossroads.

I was all over the place in my late 20's after a difficult breakup. I was completely alone after moving out of his house ( I paid rent to him- what a twat I was !) . I was in debt, no support from anyone, living in a crappy room in shared accommodation with a load of smelly, really odd blokes. It was a shit show.

So I moved schools and area on a whim I moved to London! I met my DH ( he was the IT tech guy the school I worked in ), and the rest is history. It sounds as though you have enough savings to move and see this as a fresh start perhaps? Grab this opportunity !

You're a teacher and one of the few advantages of this job is you can teach anywhere in the country.

I'm a middle aged old bag in my late 40's now and been a stay at home parent for a looooong time I am only just now looking to get back into the profession as my kids are teenagers but can't work full time as I need important surgery.

The work I have been offered by the supply agency has been completely inappropriate. I am secondary and get offered primary, SEN and TA work none of which I have the skills set for. I personally don't think you should sell yourself short. I know money is important but you're a qualified teacher. Most TA posts are not aimed at teachers and I think many schools look for very different qualities in their TA staff.

I hope you can get through this and I wish you the very best. Make some plans, keep applying for teaching jobs and focus on your next phase.

The song I carry with me from that time in my life is 'Life for Rent' by Dido. It came out when I was at that crossroads in my life;-dumped, penniless, unhappily single, no family support, sleeping on a camp bed in this grotty room and working at a really rough school in the county ( which I quite enjoyed really!) and would go back to again.

Don't let your life be for rent! Be strong, focus and you can move forward. Your ex wasn't yours, he was not worth it, Invest in yourself and your life and try to move forward positively.

Good luck my dear - it will work out. Sending you [ wine] xx

I'm sorry but that sounds like just a pathetic excuse to break up.

If a permanent job matters to him so much then he can go and get one.

If your relationship was going well and had long term prospects the finer details of your working contracts would not matter at all.

Omg what a prick! Tbh the first thing I thought reading your OP was that he was looking for an excuse to break up and that was the best he could come up with. Pathetic of him!

You should totally teach abroad as you’ve referred to in your update. Check out international schools there are loads of schools teaching the British system around the world - I went to several growing up and it seems like a much nicer teaching environment than the U.K. (according to my teacher friends)

So was last academic year your NQT year? (or should have been, without Covid?)

So you’re not really that long out of university? In which case - him too?

I expect you’ve hit a stage in your life - both of you - where you’ve just moved on from being students. He possibly erroneously things that he’s moved on more quickly as he has a “proper” (zero hours) job whereas you’re “temping”. Of course, you’re the one with prospects. I think he’s just disappeared up his own arse, and is trying to come up with a reason, instead of just admitting that life and feelings change.

Get your NQT year signed off, enjoy your masters. Carry on with the fab experience s from supply... then enjoy the excitement of working abroad. Fuck him!

@HerdyGerdy I am early years trained but teach across primary. It seems a miracle to me that you can't find teachers. The supply facebook groups near me are overrun with graduates struggling to find work and desperate for a job. Primary seems overrun here. Where I am from, it is 'normal' to end up on supply after graduating. On my course, there were 30 of us on the Early Years specialism, 5 of the people on the job managed to get a job straight away. The rest were on supply. Some have ended up on maternity contracts or found their permanent position - I'm sure my time will come one day.

If needs be I would relocate one day. Last year, until lockdown, supply was going really well and I was teaching a Year 1 class 3 days a week for 6 weeks and I was on a guaranteed pay scheme so relocating never crossed my mind. It is something to consider one day though.

I'm sorry OP.

Either that's a deception or he's deeply flawed - sorry for the shock but you are better off without him.

You are professionally qualified and have prospects, presumably with land your permanent career and will progress. Now I'm a romantic and wouldn't have advocated you dumping him as he has a zero hours contract in a factory but for him to do so is bonkers.

Good luck and I hope you find someone you deserve.

He is intimidated by your abilities and future success. He might or might not have met someone else, but his inability to cope with a clever woman is the root of this.

Good luck with the job search and masters.

You have achieved a lot so far and it sounds like you will do very well in life. You are very hard working and driven. You are not a failure at all. He's just come up with a very poor excuse to end the relationship. It could be due to his own insecurities or maybe he has found someone else , either way you are well rid of him.

He's dumped you because you're a degree educated teacher, due to start a masters degree where you will meet lots of other degree educated teachers, and he works in a factory on a zero hours contract. He's done it to avoid the risk of being dumped by you and because you have no ties yet. You really are too good for him. Well, not if he was a decent, genuine and loyal man, then it wouldn't matter, but he's not.

Honestly, men are so shitty now. I got dumped duri g lockdown because I couldn't see my boyfriend for a couple of months and he started seeing an unemployed horse groom instead. Apparently, he was scared I'd cheat on him so he thought it better to end it. I adored him.

He's having a go at you for having a zero hours contact when he has a zero hours contract?

Right ok.

Do his 5 days a week and savings match your earnings and savings?

Or is this an excuse to dump you and more reflective of the fact he dislikes the fact you have a professional job and he doesn't and this is a swipe at that because he's insecure about it?

You WILL eventually find a permenant position. And you WILL have better career prospects in the long run.

He, meanwhile, thinks its fine to further knock your confidence when you have enough of that from interview rejections.

You are best off without him and you have plenty of time to settle down and buy a house. Its not a race. You are only 26!!! I fucked off to Australia for a year when I was 25. Still bought a house.

Hi OP chiming we everyone else that you've had a lucky escape and don't take him back if he comes sniffing around Re: travel etc there's a teachers sub on here, I'm sure experienced posters there will be able to help, good luck!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_staffroom

@zerohourperson
I wondered if you were primary. However, still quite a few jobs for R, KS1 and 2 here. More than I’ve seen before. Have you just searched TES for jobs anywhere? Would give you some stability and a new tranche of men

He's a wally! you have everything going for you and a bright future ahead.

Stop crying - start looking for someone better and richer - can't be that difficult. Consider working abroad?

You've had a close call. Thank your lucky stars and move on. He has no right to talk about you having a 0 hour contract when he's on one too. So I assume if you had permanent hours he'd be okay then as he knows YOU'LL be able to support him? And if you bought a house, he'd have a claim on it? Even though he could get no work at all and you'd foot the bills?

You're so much better off OP. If he wasn't happy with two people on zero hour contracts then he should have got a new job himself. It sounds like he's only after a relationship to gain financially from a partner and that's never a good base for any relationship

He's clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer . He could have come up with a better excuse than that. It's very nasty of him to make you feel inadequate. He's shown his true colours.

It sounds like he has certain 'life expectations' as he has treated you like a horse he was unwise to put a bet on. Pah! What nonsense, the best life partners are the ones who love you for who you are and can roll with life punches no matter what comes your way so long as you are by their side and vice versa... if he has a life script and you don't fit it, you have had a lucky escape! Life doesn't always go to plan.
Since dh and I have been together we have been through assorts and ultimately we have got each others back, currently we are in a good place but it hasn't always been that way, but it never mattered so long as we had each other. That's the kind of partner you need. Of course 3 years is a long time but I think you've had a lucky escape and actually your attitude and constructive approach to the opportunities life is throwing at you will see you come through just fine in the end... wouldn't personally say the same for him.
I have a (male) friend married to a professional musician, her contracts are all over the place but they are so in love, who cares. They have an interesting enriched life where success is measured by if you are managing to live in a way where you are true to yourself, to be able to live in a way which is an expression of who you are as a person is gold. You sound like you love your job even if you aspire to a permanent version of it. Do you have any idea how rare it is to be in a job you love in your 20's - if you have found your purpose, that's amazing and houses etc can come in time.
Good luck, hope you are feeling better soon.

That's not a reason to dump someone. I think he's using it as an excuse, and if he's not, it's a really crap excuse. I think you've had a lucky escape if that's how he treats someone he loves.

onwards and upwards!

Hi OP,

Another one here in favour of relocation! It is so much easier to do if you don't have anything (kids, mortgage, etc) to tie you to a place and you learn so much about other people and their cultures and make great friends. Yes, the rents may be higher down south in the UK, but the salaries can be larger. There are also many countries that love having English teachers - example being places like Dubai and Oman where there are many British Expats working. It looks very good on your CV and often much less or no tax to pay so you get to keep more of your salary, but don't forget to pay your NI contributions if you do go abroad. Glad you are open to looking into all possibilities.

As for the Ex, it really was just the best excuse he could come up with. Clearly, he has no intention of changing his lifestyle and would have ended up holding you back. You need someone who matches your own intellect and career aims. You are in no way a failure, just having tough times as lots are at the moment. It will get better and it helps to stay positive if you can.

Good luck

I don't even know you but feel very proud of you. You are working as hard as you can, making use of your time when no supply work and starting a masters. I suspect your ex is worried you'll show him up so he's tutting you down to make himself feel better. If it isn't finished, finish it and start your next stage in life. Good luck for finding a permanent position.

Putting you down *