To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

The only thing more annoying that your own kids is someone else's....

@Yellowballoon77

Perhaps your 3 year old could run about in the playground/sports fields rather than the path people are walking along? Kick a ball about on the grass would help with lots of energy

The level of curtain twitchery, self righteous, busybody arseholes has increased significantly this year. Part of it is understandable but people need to keep perspective and really pick the right battles and stop being so flipping rude! Sadly kids, women on their own etc are easy targets.

Yes they sound miserable, ignore them and enjoy your children!

@Daphnise what do you mean by "loose"? Are children not allowed to walk or run freely anymore? (While keeping a reasonable distance from people like 2m)

Another example - my preschooler was waiting patiently off the path for a couple of ladies to pass (we're always the ones that wait out of the way, by the way) and instead of smiling and saying thank you to her they looked at me and said "good, you kept your germ factory out of the way". DD didn't really know what it meant but was perplexed and said she wasn't a "germ factory" but a little girl

I just think it's so unkind

I think you're getting a rough ride here OP.

Children play... as long as they're not screaming or running right up to people I can't see a problem (and being scared doesn't give you an excuse to be rude ).

As far as the dog walker goes, I'm thrilled when a child asks before stroking my dog (it's the ones that run over and smack pat him in the face that annoy me ). He could have always said no, sorry.

I haven’t noticed this at all where I live thank god. People are generally really smiley and stop to talk to the kids.

How awful to experience three comments like that so close together.

The man with the god sounds plain rude. Your child was polite and he could have said no politely. What sort of douch bag mutters “fucking kids” just for that?!

I assume people are all feeling highly strung and extra stressed so maybe doing/saying things they wouldn’t usually or being less patient. It’s not ok, but I imagine that’s why you might be seeing more rude people about.

[quote Chestnutsandsprouts]@Daphnise what do you mean by "loose"? Are children not allowed to walk or run freely anymore? (While keeping a reasonable distance from people like 2m)

Another example - my preschooler was waiting patiently off the path for a couple of ladies to pass (we're always the ones that wait out of the way, by the way) and instead of smiling and saying thank you to her they looked at me and said "good, you kept your germ factory out of the way". DD didn't really know what it meant but was perplexed and said she wasn't a "germ factory" but a little girl

I just think it's so unkind[/quote]
How did you keep your cool. I’d have been fuming.

Gosh some people are miserable bastards.

If you absolutely cannot bear kids running across your path (not even towards you, and more than 2 metres away from you) then dont walk past a playground! I mean it's a free country, go where you like, but you can't get arsey about small people acting like energetic small people in a public space that was literally designed for them to play in.

Dog man sounds like a nasty piece of work, and it is good that your son knows to ask before stroking dogs. Dog man has some cheek I think, letting his dog run up to unknown children (he didn't ask if your son was OK with it first did he??) And then swearing at a child who displays far more manners and courtesy than he did in the first place!

Maybe the kids were being too noisy on the garden, but I dont think that yelling "shut up" out of the window is an appropriate first response. Call out nicely first at least. Then maybe if the noise continues, yelling would be more justified.

But I knew that you'd be voted as unreasonable on here. Some people are really untolerant of kids. Adults swearing and screaming - fine! They're stressed! Kids acting like anything other than perfect robots- nope!

Yes, they sound very rude. I haven't had the same experience at all. I have 2 toddlers and as much as I try to keep them away from other people, sometimes it just happens. Nobody ever said anything.

@Yellowballoon77 We get a lot of kids stopping and stroking our cat who sits on the wall on our driveway. I love seeing children petting her and so does she :-)

The people in our neighbourhood definitely think smiling is a form of covid transmission and scowling acts as a face shield.

Perhaps there is an element of your kids being unruly in other people’s opinion. It seems VERY unlucky to have had all of these incidents in a short space of time.

@Darkstar4855

Maybe your neighbour works nights and is trying to sleep. Lockdown has been a nightmare for a lot of night shift workers as so many people are at home making noise all day, playing music, doing DIY, using garden tools etc. instead of being at work.

This is true, and working from home in the day is also difficult with normal/above normal noise from surroundings. I know you implied you weren't letting the kids play loudly outside on weekdays OP, but I am sure many are.

@Grenlei

Your kids sound pretty irritating. Maybe you should focus more on that rather than assuming everyone else is wrong!

They really don't. They sound totally normal.

We had a walk today partly on the beach, partly on the promenade alongside it. 2 and 4 year olds crossed paths with a few people and petted two dogs. Everyone they interacted with was jolly about.

Sorry OP, I think you've been really unlucky with interactions.

By the way, if anyone knows how to teach a 3-year-old to stay away from others and keep their distance please tell me!

I think you need to start teaching your 3 year old these boundaries ASAP, that’s a little too old to not walk along a street sensibly, especially as you are in London, the old couple may have been spooked he was going to step into the road. 3 is not beyond learning these basics.

What a miserable bunch of bastards OP. Of course your children need to get out in the fresh air and run around. You're focusing a lot on negative things that have happened, are there any positive things you could focus on instead? You can't change the way other people are feeling and how they react but can change your own perceptions and what you focus on.

Covid sure has brought the prick out in people.

I feel like I live in a different universe than some of the people on this thread.

First- it's Sunday, midday, not work day so tough shit if that person wants quiet to work, they should invest in noise cancelling earphones, Sunday is prime time for families and children.

Second, people are ruder and nastier than ever at the moment, I've noticed it in emails and interactions, although most are still pleasant.

Children do not have to be quiet all the time, and it's not fine to audibly say 'fucking kids'.

I am usually a defender of living in the UK, even on threads where it gets slagged off, but the child unfriendliness is quite startling at times and not the same as many countries round the world. It's a real shame people are taking covid stress out on little kids.

Please don't blame people's unreasonable antisocial behaviour on us WFH people. I'm working from home and my neighbours' children play outside, plus there's a nursery in earshot so there's often the noise of children playing, and I would not dream of yelling "Shut up!" out of a window. It's not THEIR fault I have to work here!

OP your children sound fine, there are a fair number of angry misanthropic people on here for some reason.

Some people are so hideously intolerant of children. Why is someone shouting out a window at a child to be quiet in a residential garden?! It’s for living in and using! I don’t understand why people seem to think the needs of those WFH trumps everyone else’s needs? Playgroups/ activities/ swimming etc all closed... what are parents supposed to do?

@Grenlei

Your kids sound pretty irritating. Maybe you should focus more on that rather than assuming everyone else is wrong!

How do the sound irritating?

3yo ran. 3yo do this!

Kids doing cartwheels on grass. Normal. Dog approached kids. Owners choice to have them off the lead. Kid asks to touch dog. Kid sounds sensible and raised well.

Kids playing in garden. Neighbour shouts.
This one maybe the kids screaming which would be justified but somehow I doubt it.

Judging by some of the responses here I'm not surprised you've met people like this. Personally I doubt I'd have even raised an eyebrow or noticed your kids being kids tbh!

Ugh that sucks. There are so many MISERABLE people in this country it is so annoying! Poor kids.

@maddiemookins16mum

The dog walker was correct. Your neighbour may have been unreasonable, we have no real idea of how ‘loud’ your kids were being.

In what way?

He let his dog aporia h two children
One of the children asked if they could pet the dog
He said 'fucking children' within their earshot

What about that, exactly, do you think was correct

Covid is highly unlikely to be transferred via pet fur, but he was within his rights to say 'no' to his dog being stroked, but NOT to tell them they're aren't allowed to pet anyone's animals.

@Yellowballoon77

The walking couple were rude

The dog Walker was fine to say no, but wrong to swear about children

The person shouting out the window sounds a bit intolerant & I wouldn't shout at the kids,but maybe limit how long they play out for at any one time. I think we switch off from our own little noisemakers, & it can be annoying to others, especially when life

Kids trying to strike my dog is a pet peeve, he doesn't care for strangers stroking him so I keep him away from kids, they chase after him etc so annoying.

As a dog owner I also don’t like it at all when kids rush up and stroke my dog (or any dog) without asking, because it’s dangerous, but OP’s son ASKED. That’s what you’re supposed to do. I don’t think anyone can fault a child for asking if they could pet a dog. As an owner, all you have to do in that situation is say ‘I’m sorry, he doesn’t like being stroked, but thank you for asking first’ or something similar.