To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

I think some people are paranoid about covid and it has changed their outlook about personal space.

@MorganKitten

OP said... A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!”

The kid did ask

I think there are a lot of stressed people around, your children sound fine. Don’t let the bastards get you down

If I were older I’d be absolutely terrified of covid. I’m anxious enough about it now even though I’m at really low risk from it but if I were older or had an underlying condition I’d be scared to leave the house. So I can totally empathise with older people not wanting your son to go near them, children can transmit the virus too you know.

Plus it’s not really safe to let your toddler go running off even in normal circumstances.

As someone who now WFH pretty much full time, listening to the constant screaming of children outside would do my nut in. That is the only person of the people you've encountered that I agree with.

However the dog walker and older couple...sounds like they were hugely overreacting.

But I can't help but wonder if there's more you're not telling us - people seem to really dislike your children OP!

3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!”

I'd think the older couple were maybe worried about being bumped by your DD
Even a 3yo , running , if they bumped into someone unsteady , possibly a hip replacement or (like my DMum) Parkinsons , coud be knocked over really easily .
To stop, try to predict how a child will run and either stop or divert in a matter of seconds.........?

If someone in their 70s hits the floor , the consequences can be life changing .
It might not just be Covid .

Depends how loud your kids were playing.

Some parents let their kids scream and screech and claim they’re ‘just being kids ‘

Maybe your children are not as well behaved in the eyes of others as you obviously think they are?

When I am out I don't want children coming near me at the moment- and feel they should not be on the loose to even be able to do so.

@FelicityBob

Children are exempt from social distancing in Wales

there's your answer - take them to Wales.

Not particularly covid related, but if children are careering around in an uncontrolled way, and directe at you, waiting until they are as close as 2 metres can be way too late to say something.
ie the little darling on a scooter on a narrow path in the park last week, looking behind him at parents and going pretty fast. No spatial awareness, and out of control. If I'd not shouted "look where you're going", he'd have crashed straight into me, or I'd have had to side step into a pile of mud and leaves to avoid being hit.

The woman has as much right to shout and disturb your kids as much as they have a right to shout and disturb her.

This is so sad what an unfriendly place you live in.

Am I alone in noticing it

People get pissed of with other people's behaviour all the time. You're an example. Everybody always thinks they're right.

I am definitely not one of those who thinks my kids are absolute little darlings and everyone else should think so too. And I am open to criticism (hello AIBU!). But I haven’t withheld any extra bits of info that might explain things in a fairer light.

A pp suggested the older couple may have been vulnerable in other ways too. Perhaps they were. I get that fear makes you angry.

Dog walker I’m pretty sure just disliked kids.

Maybe the neighbour does too and is working nights. Maybe my kids have been driving her nutty playing outside intermittently (and more than usual because of lockdown etc) for six months and she finally broke!

keeprocking glad your granddaughter stuck up for herself!!

From OP's description kids were doing nothing wrong.

Mumsnet has impossible standards for parents of small children at the moment - take them out puddle jumping all day every day in lockdown, but don't let them come within 5m of anyone else (OP said they were 2m away already), make sure they spend lots of time in the garden to use up energy but don't let them play, find a way to give them social interaction as there's always a way even in lockdown but don't take them to the shops even if there's no other option, don't use up a delivery slot someone more vulnerable could have but also don't take your kids to the shops but also don't use anyone for childcare as it's irresponsible

I suppose baking and playing with that bloody kinetic sand remain mumsnet endorsed activities!

And I'm not complaining by the way, we have been really lucky to find plenty of outdoor activities to do in lockdown 1 and 2, but thankfully most people we've encountered have been kind and friendly so probably don't post here!

YANBU. They all sound pretty miserable to me and need to lighten up! X

If multiple people are shouting at your children you need to look to your children's behaviour as the cause, I'm afraid.

I don't know anybody whose kids have been shouted at by random strangers, it's really very unusual.

The noise in the garden I don’t understand posters comments. I work nights and in summer my next door neighbours kids are playing in the garden and chatting loudly it is annoying especially after a busy shift. I would NEVER open the window and shut up shut shut up. It’s so rude!! Many of times I can hear the kids playing away it’s normal to hear kids playing outside even if your inside.

@Daphnise

Maybe your children are not as well behaved in the eyes of others as you obviously think they are?

When I am out I don't want children coming near me at the moment- and feel they should not be on the loose to even be able to do so.

On the loose? They are children not viscous wild animals. Keep yourself inside if you have that outlook. How rude.

I detest miserable people. Why they think they have the right to abuse others is a mystery to me. Odd isent it that its never big blokes they have a go at.

There’s a lot of miserable people around at the moment, if they can’t cope it’s their own fault, they need to get a grip. I’d ignore them.

We had something delivered to our outbuilding today, delivery people were up a ladder putting it on roof. One of them was about 2m from fence, 3m high up ladder. Woman next door marched right down length of garden (130ft) and stood right next to fence to ask how long they were gonna be as they were close to her fence? Made no sense to me at all, she complained they were too close but they were doing something that meant they had to be there (were 5mins total) there was no reason for her to stand as close as possible to them!

Kids trying to strike my dog is a pet peeve, he doesn't care for strangers stroking him so I keep him away from kids, they chase after him etc so annoying. Noisy kids in the garden, must be pretty loud as nobody has windows open in November - were they shrieking as that's pretty annoying. Dashing near people, that was constant walking today and yes quite annoying if you are vulnerable, they were walking during school time to avoid busy families I'm guessing.

I think you have to remember not everyone wants your kids to be near them or impact their lives. In all the circumstances you mentioned the other party appears to have overreacted but put together I wonder if the kids are a bit boisterous from being cooped up?

I think the current situation with Covid has sent a lot of otherwise sane and sensible people a bit bat shit. It is not entirely surprising.

@Daphnise

Maybe your children are not as well behaved in the eyes of others as you obviously think they are?

When I am out I don't want children coming near me at the moment- and feel they should not be on the loose to even be able to do so.

I understand that, but when you say children shouldn’t be loose to do so - are you proposing they’re kept at home?

Children need fresh air and exercise like the rest of us. And a 3-year-old especially needs to be able to run and not just walk holding my hand.

I live in London, so I don’t have the luxury of endless open space to let them play in. It’s the local parks, shared garden, or nothing.

I have toddlers and I have experienced the same as you even when they Are behaving and are socially distancing. It's strange. When people are out of order I call it out though.