To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

If he had covid (kids often have no or few symptoms) he could easily transfer it to the dog’s fur and the owner.

Oh fgs what total bollocks. Fomite transmission is now believed to be virtually nil and no one was ever particularly concerned about soft/damp surfaces like dogs fur.

I can't actually believe you thing it's ridiculous to let him ask (in happier times, when we were allowed to leave the house).
You really think asking is such a terrible, terrible thing. SMH

Not a ‘terrible terrible thing’ or ridiculous pre-covid (no need to be so dramatic) I just think it’s a bit impertinent to ask to stroke strangers pets, unless you’re chatting to owner or know them. Does he ask to stroke strangers’ babies too?
Most people with dogs will invite a child to stroke it if their dog likes attention from kids and they’re not in a rush. They notice child looking and ask ‘would you like to stroke him?’

You assume all the people who say yes are happy but many may be simply tolerating him out of politeness or awkwardness. They might be keen to get on with their walk or tired of indulging the requests of small children. When I used to walk my friend’s lab puppy we’d get loads of kids asking to pet her (she didn’t mind) but it’s annoying when you have to stop every 10 mins. Even more annoying if kids are too rough or start pulling at the dog’s ears!

no one was ever particularly concerned about soft/damp surfaces like dogs fur

They were and still are. Even PAT dogs are nolonger allowed in most places they used to visit due to the risk of transmission!

Did you mean to suggest that children should be kept on leads and walk to heel in a public park?

I think children should be taught to give people space in parks, not run wild or cut people up. And for very young ones reins or holding hands is polite and safe. Lots of frail elderly people use parks too, and people with poor mobility, is it ok to let kids barge into them or knock them off balance?

Even PAT dogs are nolonger allowed in most places they used to visit due to the risk of transmission!

Transmission via dogs or humans? If the former, it’s a ridiculous over reaction.

I'd be interested in seeing precisely how many small children knock over elderly people. I would hazard a guess at it being fuck all.

If anyone suggested that I keep my toddler on reins, I would refuse. What absolute nonsense. You'd really rather kids be formally trained like a dog than run around and have fun. That is such a weird way of thinking.

You'd really rather kids be formally trained like a dog than run around and have fun. That is such a weird way of thinking.

Widespread in the U.K. sadly. Having lived in other countries it so notable how un child-friendly it is here.

@Grenlei

Your kids sound pretty irritating. Maybe you should focus more on that rather than assuming everyone else is wrong!

Yes darn those kids, going to parks, staying still while a dog comes near them and playing in the gardens. Dont they know kids should be seen and not heard?

The 'fucking kids' comment is one I've made under my breath when children in supermarkets are being annoying so I won't judge him for that - some people just don't like children!
Why is that acceptable? If someone muttered "fucking old people" or "fucking deaf people" under their breath we would (rightly) be up in arms.

If someone muttered "fucking old people" or "fucking deaf people" under their breath we would (rightly) be up in arms.

Exactly

@RattleOfBars

I think you're absolutely neurotic, and have no idea what you're talking about. And since we're in lockdown anyway, no-one is going anywhere anyway. I would say the chance of catching COVID from patting someone else's dog has to be as close to zero as I can imagine. It must be wearing being this much of a curmudgeon about everything

Do you bother with social distancing or is that neurotic too? Have you taught your child to give people space or is he allowed to approach anyone with a dog asking to pet it? You said he strokes around 5 dogs a day. That seems a bit foolish in a pandemic! If he had covid (kids often have no or few symptoms) he could easily transfer it to the dog’s fur and the owner. Why do you think supermarkets require mask wearing, enforce hand gel and floor stickers to keep people 2m apart? Or do you believe covid and cross-infection doesn’t exist?

Do not make up lies about what I said to bolster your weak arguments.

I at no point said he strokes five dogs a day. I would suggest you start paying more attention to what people have actually said, rather than lying about it.
Not to mention the utter garbage you're accusing me of in the rest of the post.

We are in lockdown. We are allowed out for one hour a day, with an attestation. He has not so much as seen a dog in about two weeks now.
We have, as it happens, all already had COVID, so no, he doesn't have a symptomless version in any case.
We are far more aware of what constitutes risk than you appear to be.

It's one thing to be stupid, quite another to blare it all over like a foghorn.

Two of my three DC have additional needs that make them a bit more impulsive and loud and I've never had a neighbour tell me or them off. Two of them are home educated as well so out and about during the day but we've never experienced this.

The biggest arse was the dog walker. What a wanker. I love it when children want to stroke my dogs and they are more than welcome to do so.

The second biggest arse was the elderly woman. There was no need for her to be so nasty, people are unhinged at the moment.

But I can't make a call on shouty window woman. Kids playing in the garden is usually a happy sound, but if your kids were doing that screeching thing some kids do. I can't blame her. It's enough to drive me insane.

Other people' might be having a hard time and need some slack. Like the OP. And her dc

Is anyone not having a hard time right now?

I was referring to people who are at high risk of death or serious complications if they catch covid, who are understandably very anxious about social distancing.
And people who are working from home who might only be able to get out twice a week for a walk or a quick dog walk on their lunch break.

Not everyone has the freedom to be out all the time.

Teaching kids to respect other people’s personal space (and not bother strangers) would help OP to get shouted at less.

Do not make up lies about what I said to bolster your weak arguments

Lies? Do you mean my questions, which you declined to answer (or could not).

If it was a different poster who said their son strokes 5 dogs a day then I apologise, I must have muddled you up.

be interested in seeing precisely how many small children knock over elderly people. I would hazard a guess at it being fuck all. If anyone suggested that I keep my toddler on reins, I would refuse. What absolute nonsense. You'd really rather kids be formally trained like a dog than run around and have fun. That is such a weird way of thinking.

Not formally trained like a dog, just taught to respect people. Mine aren’t allowed to go tearing through a public park without a thought for anyone else. I think it’s great for kids to run around and exercise, but as parents we’re responsible for supervising them in public. If they want to run freely find an empty open field or beach or adventure playground.

I used to work in Trauma and Orthopaedics and sadly a lot of elderly people report their broken hip or wrist or elbow was caused by tripping over a child, or a child accidentally bumping into them and knocking them off balance. Broken hips can be fatal. Tripping over dogs and falling down stairs was another common injury.

I know how easily tiny kids can trip people as my DD did when she was first walking, she’d zoom away so fast and she had no awareness of people around her. 2 people actually fell over her that day (luckily both were fine) but I kept her on reins for a long time after that.

@RattleOfBars

Do not make up lies about what I said to bolster your weak arguments

Lies? Do you mean my questions, which you declined to answer (or could not).

If it was a different poster who said their son strokes 5 dogs a day then I apologise, I must have muddled you up.

Reading is really not your best thing, is it?

Your questions, such as they were, were answered, though I don't know why I bothered, you obviously didn't read what I wrote that time, any more than you did every other time.
And yes, you make up lies to prop up your nonsensical arguments.

Your kids sound normal. Some people are just nasty and want a reason to let their anger out. Before covid someone had their dog off the lead and it came up and tried to shag my leg as I sat eating lunch. I stroked it and the owner had a tantrum as I hadn’t asked!
I had two small boys chase me along the high street, they kept trying to grab at me and go in front of me and were screaming ‘covid lady, covid lady!’ (vaguely alarming-what the hell they mean by ‘covid-lady’ do they know something I don’t ? lol) felt irritated because the dad let them run ahead, embarrassing me and did nothing, but they are little kids so I just laughed. Your kids are a lot nicer than those!
People are just miserable and are taking their inner anger out on kids or anyone they think won’t hit back. You probably look like a ‘nice polite woman’ who won’t attack back. They wouldn’t dare hassle some hardcore looking massive bloke.

Reading is really not your best thing, is it?
Your questions, such as they were, were answered, though I don't know why I bothered, you obviously didn't read what I wrote that time, any more than you did every other time. And yes, you make up lies to prop up your nonsensical arguments.

Do you realise how rude and offensive you sound?
My arguments are based on facts, life experience and the current government guidelines. No lies.

You didn’t answer my questions (maybe you couldn’t).

Never mind, maybe it’s best to agree to disagree on this one. I don’t like debating with people who resort to rudeness and personal insults as a tactic (because you clearly can’t/won’t answer questions or have a reasonable logical debate).

Maybe life on an isolated island would be for you, since about 99% of the dog owners we meet are perfectly happy to let my son pat their dogs (he always asks).

Another example of your rudeness.

But yes it was another poster (OverTheRainbow88) who mentioned her son pats 5 dogs a day. I apologise for mixing you up. I presume (hope) your 99% refers to pre-covid times.

You may have all had covid but nobody else knows that (unless you carry your antigen test papers with you). Even experts aren’t sure how long antibodies last or if different strains have developed. And you can still transmit the virus even if you have immunity, as it can survive a considerable amount of time on hard surfaces, clothes, hands eg your child could spread it by touching a contaminated surface then somebody’s pet.

We are far more aware of what constitutes risk than you appear to be. It's one thing to be stupid, quite another to blare it all over like a foghorn

Another example of your pointless rudeness towards me.
I understand risk very well thanks, I’m a frontline HCP working in a hospital!

@RattleOfBars

*Reading is really not your best thing, is it? Your questions, such as they were, were answered, though I don't know why I bothered, you obviously didn't read what I wrote that time, any more than you did every other time. And yes, you make up lies to prop up your nonsensical arguments.*

Do you realise how rude and offensive you sound?
My arguments are based on facts, life experience and the current government guidelines. No lies.

You didn’t answer my questions (maybe you couldn’t).

Never mind, maybe it’s best to agree to disagree on this one. I don’t like debating with people who resort to rudeness and personal insults as a tactic (because you clearly can’t/won’t answer questions or have a reasonable logical debate).

Would you just like to compare these paragraphs, ie you're rude and offensive' vs 'you didn't answer my questions (maybe you couldn't)'.

Because you seem to have trouble identifying rudeness.

I did answer your questions; that you couldn't be bothered to read the answers is not something I can fix. And you have repeatedly accused me of being 'unable to answer questions'

Do you bother with social distancing or is that neurotic too?

This is not a genuine question, this is a straw man, so you can make me look unreasonable. If you had read my replies, you would see that as we are in lockdown, allowed out only for an hour a day, with an attestation, then yes, I am of course 'social distancing'. We see no-one, at any time. But indirectly calling me neurotic must be satisfying I am sure.

Or do you believe covid and cross-infection doesn’t exist?

Also a straw man, trying to portray me as someone ignorant, unreasonable, and wilful. All, by the way, because I don't think asking someone if you can pat their dog is unreasonable.

Lies? Do you mean my questions, which you declined to answer (or could not).

I can and have answered. You are not bothering to read.

I just think it’s a bit impertinent to ask to stroke strangers pets, unless you’re chatting to owner or know them. Does he ask to stroke strangers’ babies too?

Asking. Asking is impertinent? Dogs and babies are not the same thing, the comparison is simply stupid.

You assume all the people who say yes are happy but many may be simply tolerating him out of politeness or awkwardness. They might be keen to get on with their walk or tired of indulging the requests of small children.

Ohhh, you didn't mention you were psychic, that you could somehow see my interactions with people in a completely different place and time.
And maybe they were fine with it, having people who like their beloved pet being on the whole a good thing.

My god you'll build any number of straw men and fabricate any old rubbish to try to justify your argument.

My god you'll build any number of straw men and fabricate any old rubbish to try to justify your argument

So you’ve dismissed my questions as ‘straw men’ now hmm. Well that saved you answering them I guess!

You’ve repeatedly accused me of lying, making up ‘nonsensical arguments’ and insisted I cannot read well. You openly called me stupid and insisted I am ‘blaring [stupidity] all over like a foghorn’.
You suggested I live on an isolated island and called me neurotic and ridiculous. And now you insist I ‘fabricate any old rubbish’. You also sarcastically accused me of trying to be ‘psychic’ when I merely suggested an alternative point of view.
Don’t you see how you might be perceived as rude and offensive? There was no need to scorn and ridicule me. I’m a medical professional on a ward with covid cases so I think my knowledge of risk and cross-infection may be more up to date than yours.

My only argument on this thread is that children need to be taught to observe social distancing and respect others’ covid fears, which includes not asking to pet strangers dogs in a pandemic. And ideally waiting for a stranger to invite the child to pet the dog when not in a pandemic, which to me is basic good manners. That was to help OP as unlike you she is apparently not in a full lockdown area.

You seem to have very fixed ideas verging on the bizarre side (straw men, psychic for suggesting alternative viewpoints etc.)

My only argument on this thread is that children need to be taught to observe social distancing and respect others’ covid fears

It’s not the slightest bit realistic to teach very young children to observe social distancing and many societies have acknowledged that in their guidelines.

Also, other people’s ‘Covid fears’ are not necessarily valid and command respect. There is pretty much nothing to fear, Covid-wise, from a passing encounter with a small child in the open air, assuming small child doesn’t spit in your face or similar.

FFS, I am in lockdown so of course I am 'social distancing' which you seem to think is some kind of shield of steel.

And of course I know about cross infection, though what the fuck that has to do with asking to pat someone's dog, I truly have no idea.
They were rhetorical questions you posed not meant to be answered, but to paint me as some kind onf unscientific luddite philistine, who knows nothing about the virus.

So there for around the fifth time, I have answered your (non) questions.

My suggestion you live isolated from others was because you think even asking a question is 'impertinent'.

And in turn, I see you have not responded to any of my points either.