To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

@Aridane because we’ve all been told to stay at home. The poster was saying children shouldn’t be using their gardens, and should be playing in the park instead.

Hmm... I have a bunch of noisy little kids myself and I can think of one time in my life someone else told them off and my son deserved it 😂 are you sure they don’t just need reining it a bit!? If not and they weren’t screaming horribly and hurtling into people without a care in the world, then you’re just unlucky but I’d imagine the people you mention would have quite a different account of events.

OP "oh DO fock off" said firmly in your poshest voice can work a treat in situations like these

This is a context based one!
Yes older people are nervous of being approached by children because if the virus.
If your children are saying in a shared garden whilst others are working from home then yes noise is a problem, particularly on hot days with windows open.
If someone approached my dog at a time when I couldn't get close enough to interview should anything happen I would robustly tell them to stop in language likely to be effective more than polite. It's a safety issue.
You Are (probably) Being Unreasonable

I don't think some of the child haters will be saying no to this generation of children paying for Covid or their old-age care OP.

Not RTFT.

1. I can understand with everything going on at the moment why an older couple probably wouldn't want a child running across their path, but you say they were 2ms away so? 🤷 I probably wouldn't have said anything. (Although I do note that you said 'didnt have to slow down really which implies they did have to slow somewhat to avoid coming into contact with your child, so you need to make sure he doesn't run across the path of strangers).

1. Dog guy isn't unreasonable to say no to your son touching his dog. But he was rude about it.

1. Sorry but loud 'kid noise' is so annoying. Understandable yes but also annoying so I have sympathy for anyone having to listen to it all afternoon.

I don't think some of the child haters will be saying no to this generation of children paying for Covid or their old-age care OP.

Fucks sake I get sick of this argument. I'm paying for covid now and will be until I die. I'm also currently paying for your children's education and use of the health service. I don't actually mind - social contract an'all, but it is a really dumb argument. We all pay taxes, that's the deal

Same with stroking the dog, you shouldn’t even let your kids ask to stroke people’s dogs (you all need to social distance). And many dog owners hate kids asking, it’s intrusive and annoying. And dog might not like kids or be snappy. Imagine if other people’s kids kept wanting to stop and pet your baby/toddler.

This is such a silly thing to say. Now you're not even allowed to ask? (which the OP's son did, in case anyone missed that part).
Jesus wept.

The Covid might leap off the dog onto the child though 🙄

[quote TerribleLizard]@Aridane because we’ve all been told to stay at home. The poster was saying children shouldn’t be using their gardens, and should be playing in the park instead.[/quote]
www.gov.uk/guidance/new-national-restrictions-from-5-November

Specifically provides that you can exercise or meet outside in
public outdoor places, which include:

• neighbourhood streets, parks, beaches, and the countryside
• public gardens and grounds (whether or not you pay to enter them)
• allotments

-outdoor playgrounds

So absolutely yes the children can exercise in the park

‘Same with stroking the dog, you shouldn’t even let your kids ask to stroke people’s dogs (you all need to social distance). And many dog owners hate kids asking, it’s intrusive and annoying. And dog might not like kids or be snappy. Imagine if other people’s kids kept wanting to stop and pet your baby/toddler.’
This is such a silly thing to say. Now you're not even allowed to ask? (which the OP's son did, in case anyone missed that part).
Jesus wept.

We’re in the middle of a pandemic, kids shouldn’t be asking to pet strangers dogs.
I don’t have a dog but plenty of dog owners on here complain about kids asking to stroke their dog all the time.
And yes, dogs can carry covid on their fur so a kid could potentially spread it to the owner or vice versa this way.

We don’t let kids ask to pet people’s babies and toddlers so why their dogs? It’s a bit rude to hassle a stranger like that, puts them in a difficult position, maybe they just want to enjoy their walk without stopping for kids to pet their dog? Or explaining multiple times it doesn’t like being petted.

It’s different if you know the dog owner or the owner sees child looking at dog and INVITES child to pet it. Pre covid one of our neighbours regularly invited my DC to stroke her child-loving dog. Other neighbours with dogs didn’t offer so we assumed petting wasn’t something the dog liked. We’d stop for a chat but I’d be mortified if my DC asked to touch their dog, it’s a bit like a child asking to stroke someone’s coat or baby in pram or touch their handbag because it’s fluffy.

What’s happened to humanity?

Kids can’t ask to stroke dogs
Dogs might have covid in their fur

What on earth is going on... we live in a crazy world.

My kid asks and strokes about 5 dogs a day, yet to meet someone who said no, don’t think my son has got covid from dog fur.

People are becoming hysterical and irrational

@Grenlei

Your kids sound pretty irritating. Maybe you should focus more on that rather than assuming everyone else is wrong!

Child ran Child asked ow we if she could stroke dog Children made noise in garden when playing out

No, they don’t sound irritating. They sound like normal children doing what children do

You on the other hand....

*no idea where that ‘ow we’ came from

I generally agree with you OP. All of those things could be normal or on a spectrum of irritation but suspect you’re right.

It irritates me when I see adults eye roll my really well behaved 6 year old essentially for walking down road if they want to get passed etc. I often feel like reminding the grumpy ones that kids have absolutely equal rights to the pavement etc as adults, and wonder where these people get their own entitlement from. Children playing is a joyful noise (providing not shrieking etc)

My kid asks and strokes about 5 dogs a day, yet to meet someone who said no, don’t think my son has got covid from dog fur

Let’s hope he hasn’t passed on covid to any owners! Remember some may be too awkward or polite to say no even if they’re high risk. Kids are well known to be asymptomatic carriers hence why people get annoyed when kids get too close. The whole country’s in lockdown.

We’re not supposed to touch each other’s pens at work without sanitising them, to reduce cross-infection. Nobody is supposed to touch members of another household or their stuff (including their dogs). How is stroking a strangers dog in the park complying with social distancing rules?

Yes maybe the world’s gone mad but that’s because people fear cross-contamination and we’re in the second wave of a global pandemic.

Child ran Child asked ow we if she could stroke dog Children made noise in garden when playing out

I think that’s minimising a bit? I read it more like:

Child ran into path of older couple and nearly tripped them up.

Child asked to stroke a strangers dog in the middle of a global pandemic when we’re all supposed to be social distancing and reducing cross-infection by not touching others/their belongings.

Children made noise in SHARED garden to the point a neighbour lost her temper and yelled at them.

If people don't even want children to ask to touch their dogs, perhaps they should stop their dog wandering up to children? Seems a fairly simple start?

@RattleOfBars

Child ran Child asked ow we if she could stroke dog Children made noise in garden when playing out

I think that’s minimising a bit? I read it more like:

Child ran into path of older couple and nearly tripped them up.

Child asked to stroke a strangers dog in the middle of a global pandemic when we’re all supposed to be social distancing and reducing cross-infection by not touching others/their belongings.

Children made noise in SHARED garden to the point a neighbour lost her temper and yelled at them.

No, it isn’t minimising at all.

The child was running. In a park. That’s what kids do, or at least should be doing. The op never said the child nearly tripped them up. Perhaps the older couple (not elderly or frail) should also watch where they are found when in a park where children are likely to be running around

Using the phrase ‘global pandemic’ doesn’t make the act of ASKING to stroke the dog into a heinous crime! She didn’t lick the dog, or the owner. She didn’t wrestle it for the ground whilst breathing covidy breath on it. A child asked a perfectly polite question and the owner was rude

Just out of curiosity why do some people insist on adding ‘global pandemic’ to statements about everything to try to make their moan point seem more significant, when it isn’t even relevant

I did miss the point about it being a shared garden but I still think shouting about kids making a load of noise for a while is pretty miserable. If it goes on for ages then have a word.

People are becoming hysterical and irrational
Yes you're right.
Some people have a knack of refusing to consider that children's behaviour can range from appropriate for the context (including noise level) through to inconsiderately noisy, so instead of accepting this they irrationally declare that people are child haters.

The extremes on both sides are rather silly.

*where they are going not where they are found

None of these old people would dare do this to a man, always women and children, so they can’t be that worried. It’s because they have nothing better to do with their time they just get worked up for something to fill the time. Same with going shopping when they know it’ll be busy, they need something to complain about. I’d shout back, nothing rude just to the neighbour shouting “shut up”...”no!”
To the man in the street “sorry, what did you say?”. Ask people scowling if they are ok. They only pick on women because they don’t expect anything to be said back to them.
I love hearing people out and about getting on with life, we don’t all need to be locked away in silence at a time like this.

@GoldenOmber

If people don't even want children to ask to touch their dogs, perhaps they should stop their dog wandering up to children? Seems a fairly simple start?

My dog would never wander up to children as she dislikes them, she would avoid small children at all costs. It is when she is on the lead that she is more vulnerable and will growl if they approach her. I don't object to children asking but will say no if they are small (older children are OK). I get very annoyed if they just lunge forward to grab her without asking as some children are allowed to do.

My dog would never wander up to children as she dislikes them, she would avoid small children at all costs. It is when she is on the lead that she is more vulnerable and will growl if they approach her. I don't object to children asking but will say no if they are small (older children are OK). I get very annoyed if they just lunge forward to grab her without asking as some children are allowed to do.

Okay, but what you're grumbling about here is not the OP's situation. It is a totally different situation. In the OP's situation, the dog wandered up to the children.