To be sick of miserable people shouting at (my) children?

[Yellowballoon77]

I am a SAHM so I see this a lot more than DH does. Especially since - in order to keep sane - we’re generally out and about every chance we get.

I think this is a lockdown / Covid thing, but I am SICK of people mindlessly telling off my kids for pretty much no reason. I’m all for “the village” mentality, but the “village” feeling quite mean-spirited and I've had enough.

Things that happened this last few weeks:
3-year-old ran from one bit of the paved park to another, across the path of an older couple walking. 3-yr-old didn’t bump into anyone, didn’t make anyone have to swerve or even slow down really, and was probably still about 2m away from them, but the lady (maybe in her 70s) shouted “get your child away from me!” And then, when I responded with a gaping mouth, she said, “Put your child in school! They shouldn’t be out like this!”

Another instance:
Park today, preschooler and school-aged child doing cartwheels on the grass. A dog wanders over, so school-aged child (who absolutely loves dogs) asks the owner if he can stroke the dog. Owner says “No, don’t touch other people’s pets!” (A Covid fear, I know, but the kid asked!) and then dragged his dog away by the collar and muttered “fucking kids” under his breath. I mean... whaaaat?! The dog wasn’t touched! I was . Man wouldn’t look at me at all, I told him to stop being so rude to kids. He heard me, but didn’t look me in the face.

Another example: kids playing loudly (how dare they?!) in our big shared garden. Woman who I don’t know sticks her head out the window and shouts “shut up! Shut up!” And then slams the window. It was about 1pm.

I have about three other examples of the same kind of thing.

And pretty much NONE from about a year ago and beyond so sure it’s a Covid fear and kids are easy targets to yell at.

I’m sick of it. It’s really starting to bother me and make me wonder if it’s like this everywhere now, or just where I live.

Am I alone in noticing it?!

London is an arseholes’ paradise.

• an arsehole’s

so distracted by how rude people are here, it has made me misplace an apostrophe. That’s how bad it is.

The dog owner was especially rude as your children did the right thing by asking politely. He could simply have said "sorry she doesn't like strangers" or some other excuse, no need to be rude. With the elderly woman the right response to "should be in school" is surely just to laugh and say 'i wish, two years to go!"

Some people like being dramatic and share misery. Sorry people were rude to your dc. I personally have seen more people being friendlier than selfish and rude. The adults are supposed to be good role models or totally ignore our kids. By good role model I mean tell them not to get close to you without screaming. There are better ways to get your point across without needing to scream.

Let your children be children, supervise them and do your best to protect them from rude adults.

I think a lot of people's mental health has taken an absolute battering of late and ppl really are just thinking of themselves for the time being. Tension and emotions run high, people are bored, tired and becoming intolerant. I hope and pray that this won't continue and be the 'new F normal' BS.

The man with the dog shouldn't let it run loose if he doesn't want it being approached.

The fear is worse than the virus it seems some days. Terrible what it's doing to ppl's mental health as I say.

@Piglet89 😄 so true (imo)

@GoldenOmber I shouldn’t have to sit in noise cancelling headphones in my own house because you cannot control your own children.

I agree, many people’s habits are not charming. I don’t think they should do them at a loud volume either, if it disturbs their neighbours. Some noise is of course unavoidable but endless screeching of children is just as irritating as if my neighbours were repeatedly playing heavy metal or had an endlessly barking dog.

If you are repeatedly disturbing your neighbours (with your children, your endless gardening or your heavy metal habits) then you’re a shitty neighbour. Just be quiet or go away, that’s my motto.

@TerribleLizard is it? Why? Are parks closed?

@ilikebooksandplants OP lives in London. England has been asked to stay at home. That means not spending hours in the park, so everyone can use it safely.

@TerribleLizard catch on mate. I live in zone 2 as well. London has enough green/park space for everyone to screech in the park until their heart is content.

@ilikebooksandplants I’ve lived there for years, too, and parks and playgrounds are usually rammed

[quote ilikebooksandplants]@GoldenOmber I shouldn’t have to sit in noise cancelling headphones in my own house because you cannot control your own children.

I agree, many people’s habits are not charming. I don’t think they should do them at a loud volume either, if it disturbs their neighbours. Some noise is of course unavoidable but endless screeching of children is just as irritating as if my neighbours were repeatedly playing heavy metal or had an endlessly barking dog.

If you are repeatedly disturbing your neighbours (with your children, your endless gardening or your heavy metal habits) then you’re a shitty neighbour. Just be quiet or go away, that’s my motto.[/quote]
And I shouldn't 'have to' sit in noise-canceling headphones because I don't like my neighbour's tastes in music, but given that I can't just wish myself away to a secluded cottage in the middle of nowhere, my choices are either a) lump it or b) find a way to make it not annoying to me.

Option c), grumbling that people should remain quiet unless their sound is pleasing to me personally, is not really a goer.

Just realised it’s a shared garden! In that case very unreasonable to let kids be noisy out there. Supervised quiet play; fine. Any shouting, screeching, crying and you take them indoors. I feel sorry for the lady with MH problems and anxiety, yes she was rude to swear but could be unable to regulate her emotions or disinhibited about social norms. Kids making a racket so close to her home must have really upset her. Whether her flat includes use of the garden is irrelevant.

Also in busy parks I think you need to keep kids close (to heel almost or holding your hand or reins if they can’t be trusted) and only let them run in play parks or empty or quiet parks!

[quote TerribleLizard]@ilikebooksandplants I’ve lived there for years, too, and parks and playgrounds are usually rammed[/quote]
Depends on where you live. I’m in South London, plenty of space. Acres.

There are four massive parks within fifteen minutes walk of my house, there are no issues with crowding people. The playgrounds get full, but the rest of the park isn’t full even on a sunny Sunday afternoon outside of lockdown.

The older woman sounds like a miserable cow. Yelling that toddlers ought not to be allowed out of the house is not fear, it is just nastiness. I’m not sure why it is hard for people to accept that old people can be horrible people, just like younger people can.

DS has never been yelled at, but DH and I have both, separately, been yelled at for running in the park (nowhere near anybody, but apparently the park is for dog walkers and runners should run on the streets), and for not running in the park (again, this was shouted across the road, I was nowhere near them, they just felt runners should not be on allowed on pavements).

Some people are just unreasonable (I blame the hysteria over that nonsense article claiming runners spread covid over an eight mile radius just by putting their trainers on).

[quote TerribleLizard]@ilikebooksandplants I’ve lived there for years, too, and parks and playgrounds are usually rammed[/quote]
I live in Zone 2 and am surrounded by parks. They aren't "rammed" - they were certainly busy in summer - but there is no way I'd demand my DD walk beside me.

I cannot get my head around the attitude that kids should be forced to behave differently to appease people who are massively overreacting. You aren't going to catch covid if a kid bumps into you or runs across your path ffs.

@ilikebooksandplants

I live in London too, and I find the children incredibly irritating when they play in the courtyard in the development where we live. Endless screaming (and laughing and yelling and being noisy in general) is not charming or endearing. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t a week day - I don’t want to listen to it on weekends either! Take your children to the park to run about and be noisy.

The kids live there and if the courtyard is a communal space, they have every right to play there.

@Changechangychange I think you must live in the same part of South London as me.

@kirinm my point was that it’s not OK to tell OP she must take her kids to the park lest they disturb her neighbours. Children should be able to play in their own garden.

Children should be able to play in their own garden
Absolutely, but children must also learn that they are not the centre of the universe and their noise should've within the remit of tolerance. When it goes above what is deemed safe levels -and kids screaming, screeching, shouting, crying out loud within proximity will be above that level-, it's the responsibility of the parent to bring it down.

[quote kirinm]@Changechangychange I think you must live in the same part of South London as me.[/quote]
I am imagining how many people would need to be in Brockwell Park, Peckham Rye or Dulwich Park to make them “crowded” from gate to gate (as opposed to “a bit busy round the cafe”)

I can imagine if you live in Whitechapel or Islington you have fewer choices nearby.

children must also learn that they are not the centre of the universe
Young children do literally need to learn this. Adults should know already and act like it. Everyone has been at home a lot more this year - on my street, and the houses that back onto mine, people have been doing loud building and garden work, playing music, dogs have been barking, and people have been having conversations I’m not interested in over their fences, and loud zoom meetings with their windows open. The kids that have been laughing on their trampoline have been less irritating than all of them.

Kids do have a right to play in their own gardens, however screaming and shouting needs to be controlled by the parents. My neighbour's young children are out in the summer all day. They constantly scream, shout and cry. It drives my insane! Other people should be able to enjoy their gardens or at least have the window open.

Also out walking, parents do let their children wonder around and do not follow social distancing and it is bloody irritating

@TerribleLizard

Take your children to the park to run about and be noisy.

This is such a stupid thing to say right now.

Why?

[quote kirinm]@Changechangychange I think you must live in the same part of South London as me.[/quote]
And me !