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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at people shopping in families/couples?

875 replies

Nicknamegoeshere · 08/11/2020 16:37

So I went to the supermarket to do my weekly shop today. Left the baby and my OH at home as I understand the current rules re Covid to be shop alone where possible.

Now I totally respect that in certain circumstances there has to be exceptions to this rule e.g. for lone parents, shopping with a vulnerable person etc.

However, there were a huge number of large families (with both parents) shopping today, lots and lots of couples (young/middle-aged) etc.

Why are so many people blatantly ignoring the guidance?

OP posts:
BluebellsGreenbells · 09/11/2020 17:10

The 4 of us go in together because quite often it's the only time we get out of the house as a family

How sad! Why can’t you go to the park or a walk or a drive instead?

Goosefoot · 09/11/2020 17:11

I think probably some of the families don't have a good reason, though many may.

However, I think in a way people are asking the wrong questions with this stuff. The reason that so many people don't comply is that the guidelines and regulations are trying to change human behaviours, particularly their social behaviours which are pretty powerful. And that is not easy.

What's more, it isn't that they are trying to change one thing, or only for a short time. One of the things about behaviour change is that the more you want, the more resources it takes from people, and the longer it goes on, the more draining it is.

You can get over this sometimes by creating new habits, but with covid there are a lot of things working against that. Some of the things being asked are too unnatural or impractical to be adopted long term. The fact that the rules keep changing works against it.

Also, buy-in is important with behaviour change and buy-in is always less when people don't see the rules as likely to be effective, or as inconsistent. Which a lot of them are, for example the idea you can see friends in a bar, but not your mum in your house, is never going to go over. Even if people understand the idea is to keep business operating, they simply won't accept that kind o sacrifice of their most intimate relationships as the corollary.

All of which is to say, people shopping in groups is probably a symptom of the public ability to keep adapting to the rules degenerating as time goes on.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 09/11/2020 17:28

Does my head in! Mum amd Dad do not both need to go shopping it’s not a day out fgs! Unfortunately You can’t quarantine stupid it seems

BluebellsGreenbells · 09/11/2020 17:31

It isn’t about adapting to the rules. It’s about the sad fact that grown ups can’t manage a trolly without there other half and children tagging along for no other reason than to get out of the house.

There are much better ways to spend time with your children that is actually quality time.

Playing in the park, feeding the ducks, walking in the woods, having a picnic

But these adults need the distraction of spending and believe if they’ve spent x they’ve used their time wisely.

curlymom · 09/11/2020 17:31

It’s not so busy this time round so I don’t really care. At least not where I live. I just do my shopping and don’t care who’s there with who

Feministicon · 09/11/2020 17:32

Just get a life.

CheeseAndOnionIcecream · 09/11/2020 17:34

As a previous poster said,I don't understand your car/trolley point. I don't have a car,but I still use a trolley in a shop.

curlymom · 09/11/2020 17:34

😂

Smallsteps88 · 09/11/2020 17:39

It’s just plain old common sense that far too many seem to be lacking in. Bringing two extra people (and sometimes a pram!) into a building they don’t need to be in with several hundred others when there’s a viral pandemic that we know is spread by being in close proximity with carriers is just plain selfish. But there will always be those who claim “the rules don’t say we can’t so....” and to hell with common sense.

riceuten · 09/11/2020 17:41

The majority of these couples were with trollies so I assume transport isn't an issue

I take a trolley round and then load it into 3 or 4 bags and stagger to the bus stop

MsTSwift · 09/11/2020 17:43

Extremely strange behaviour even not in Covid times unless one has a disability or something.I have seen posters in some supermarkets asking people not to do it.

Supermarket shopping to me is a tedious chore which I do as quickly and efficiently as possible why share the pain by dragging Dh and bored tween and teen along too? Literally a hundred things we would rather do as a family together than go to the sodding supermarket!

mrshectic · 09/11/2020 17:44

I think it’s absolutely disgusting the amount of people being rude on this post....and to be quite honest, its exactly that mentality that has got us to this point in the first place!

Wear a goddam mask and shop alone! Obviously where possible for both of those statements. My 6 yr old daughter has asthma and a heart condition... she’s been wearing a mask in public spaces and in shops since March! I shop alone and for those that can’t too..... stop having that stupid attitude.

Ffs people, you won’t be so damn selfish when it’s your own parents or relatives die from it because song entitled numpty doesn’t think they should be safe for others.

Rant over.

FWIW I don’t care if I get flamed, I’ve had people close to me die and I know doctors who are working in the hospitals trying to save people’s lives because of others ignorance!

earnshaw47 · 09/11/2020 17:45

doesnt really matter what we should or shouldnt do does it, folks will still do their own thing, like the mob in manchester, the anti mask brigade

Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 17:46

@mrshectic Absolutely. I stand with you.

OP posts:
mrshectic · 09/11/2020 17:46

And just to add.... I’m a single Mum of 3 dc and I work! So yes, I’m fully aware of how hard it is too!

Before anyone sticks there 2pence in and says about having a husband etc to help! Because I don’t!

Yogalola · 09/11/2020 17:46

I could think of nothing worse than shopping in a supermarket with my partner! Would take twice as long and spend too much.

Lucyk1 · 09/11/2020 17:49

My husband, 5 year old son and I do our food shop together, and yes, we use a trolly. No... We don't have a car... We both carry 4 large bags between in and 2 rucksacks. Normally we do an online shop but these slots are filled up completely so we have no choice. If I were to go alone, I'd have to go everyday.
I work in a shop however, and I can tell you, all the staff are glad to be working and not forloughed. We have worked through the whole pandemic, have been on public transport, London underground, a easy jet flight, train ride for 6 hours... Plenty days out to cinema, soft play, zoo, museums... Still met up with all my family. Life is normal and neevr been ill. Still haven't met anyone who has been ill. So with that said, we really don't care about these silly rules over a silly virus that effects a tiny tiny percentage of people.

mumwalk · 09/11/2020 17:49

YANB. We don't have a car and have 2 children. We manage on 2 solo supermarket trips a week. It annoys me when I can't SD in a shop because there are couples or entire families blocking the aisles. There are obviously some people (lone parents and vulnerable adults) that need support but the majority I see don't.

mumoftinyterrors · 09/11/2020 17:51

Because it’s guidance and most people don’t believe we should even be in lockdown.

Shop how you want and I’ll do what I want 🙄

Skyelils · 09/11/2020 17:51

And that’s why we’re in a shit storm. Shame they haven’t made things compulsory because people are using the it’s guidance to bloody flout things and please themselves . You are definitely not being unreasonable. It’s not a guidance in other countries it’s do as your bloody told

Hina77 · 09/11/2020 17:52

YANBU at all because that's what the lockdown supposed to mean. It's common sense. Why would you unreasonably risk other people's lives recklessly? There're people who could be infected because you are a carrier of the virus, so we become considerate and try to minimise the spread where possible. I was at supermarket the other day and had the same feeling as you - why are seemingly healthy adults loitering around with other members of family/friends and you know what? A lot of them were not even with masks on. So the feeling of anger does cross the mind when you see others being more inconsiderate.

Hina77 · 09/11/2020 17:55

@Yogalola

I could think of nothing worse than shopping in a supermarket with my partner! Would take twice as long and spend too much.
Haha! Agreed even!
Feministicon · 09/11/2020 17:57

@Skyelils

And that’s why we’re in a shit storm. Shame they haven’t made things compulsory because people are using the it’s guidance to bloody flout things and please themselves . You are definitely not being unreasonable. It’s not a guidance in other countries it’s do as your bloody told
That’s bollocks!
JonSnowIsALoser · 09/11/2020 17:58

Maybe it's time for all those husbands and partners who are so hopeless at choosing food in a supermarket (even with a list) that they need a chaperone, to use the global pandemic to learn some new shopping skills?! About time too if they are grown-up men. It's really very useful to be able to shop by yourself.

It's also really sad that for some families going supermarket shopping counts as a family outing. Consumerist much?

Anyway, each to their own and wouldn't be judging them if we weren't living through the pandemic. But now, basic common sense dictates that the less you impose your and your family's presence on strangers the better.

YANBU OP.

luluw41 · 09/11/2020 17:59

Because you can get the shopping done in half the time, if you both take alternate isles. Get the shopping packed and through the till twice as fast, thus halving your possible exposure time to covid. I don’t drive and so it’d be pointless my husband sitting in the car waiting when he could be helping.