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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at people shopping in families/couples?

875 replies

Nicknamegoeshere · 08/11/2020 16:37

So I went to the supermarket to do my weekly shop today. Left the baby and my OH at home as I understand the current rules re Covid to be shop alone where possible.

Now I totally respect that in certain circumstances there has to be exceptions to this rule e.g. for lone parents, shopping with a vulnerable person etc.

However, there were a huge number of large families (with both parents) shopping today, lots and lots of couples (young/middle-aged) etc.

Why are so many people blatantly ignoring the guidance?

OP posts:
CallmeAngelina · 09/11/2020 14:36

*by, not but.

Calmandmeasured1 · 09/11/2020 14:39

So I went to the supermarket to do my weekly shop today. Left the baby and my OH at home as I understand the current rules re Covid to be shop alone where possible.
Your understanding is incorrect - the current rules are not that at all. It may be suggested by some supermarkets but certainly not all. Where supermarkets ask customers to try and shop alone, it is up to them to have staff asking customers not to if they find people are ignoring this. There are obviously reasons why some cannot do this such as being lone parents with no-one to leave their children with. Some people need help with shopping but still wish to choose their own food (but need help with carrying/transportation). I can't say that I ever notice two parents with children out shopping together.

M&S, Morrisons and Sainsbury's near to me don't have any instructions to this effect so I go on them with my DH.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 09/11/2020 14:44

I’d not have married someone who couldn’t do a food shop. It’s not exactly hard is it Hmm

Lots claim men can’t do x, y and z, usually work without them at home but the reality is something very different l

Mylittlesandwich · 09/11/2020 14:45

We go shopping as a family again now. I now WFH. DH is out of work for now and DS is 11 months. He's in his pram or the trolly depending on how awake he is so he isn't in the way. The 4 of us go in together because quite often it's the only time we get out of the house as a family.

Most people I see in shops around here aren't alone anymore. Nobody has batted an eyelid, apart from on here of course.

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 14:47

I accept that I should have used the word "guidance" rather than "rules" for clarity throughout my initial post.

Sainsbury's do refer to this guidance, as do lots of other supermarkets/settings.

OP posts:
CallmeAngelina · 09/11/2020 14:47

Yeah, this "learned helplessness" can work well. My dh makes out he's crap at ironing so that I do it (or rather, I send it out to be done Grin )
I, correspondingly, have made out I'm crap at cooking, so he does it all. He shouldn't have offered me quite so many helpful "tips" back in the day, as he's ended up with the job. Kind of makes sense that he does the shopping for what he wants to cook too.
Result. I rarely set foot in a supermarket.

NorbertMeubles · 09/11/2020 14:50

If an adult can't do a food shop on their own then that adult needs to learn. How pathetic.

yawnsvillex · 09/11/2020 14:54

God people like you piss me off.

Where would you like me to leave my 5 year old?

With his Father? OH sorry ... he fucked of when I pissed on a stick.

Shall I chain my kid up outside for you?

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 14:55

@NorbertMeubles Agreed. I once dated a man in his late thirties that - and I kid you not - didn't know how to make an instant coffee. Dumped him pronto! Didn't want a useless Mummy's boy! Grin

OP posts:
NorbertMeubles · 09/11/2020 14:56

Yawnsvellex it's not about you, it's about adults that feel the need to shop together with kids when shops are trying to limit numbers. You have no alternative and are doing the only thing you can.

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 14:56

@yawnsvillex Oh PLEASE read the initial post!!!!

OP posts:
Bubbletrouble43 · 09/11/2020 14:56

Woah I think op and others have been quite clear that they are not directing their irritation at single mums and other people with good reason not to shop alone. No need for the aggression.

Smallsteps88 · 09/11/2020 14:58

We go shopping as a family again now. I now WFH. DH is out of work for now and DS is 11 months. He's in his pram or the trolly depending on how awake he is so he isn't in the way. The 4 of us go in together because quite often it's the only time we get out of the house as a family.

How can that be even close to true? Your husband isn’t working, you have no commute, yet you can’t find half an hour a day to take your child to the park or go for a walk? If going to the supermarket is the only time you get out of the house as a family you really need to cop on.

Smallsteps88 · 09/11/2020 15:00

@yawnsvillex

God people like you piss me off.

Where would you like me to leave my 5 year old?

With his Father? OH sorry ... he fucked of when I pissed on a stick.

Shall I chain my kid up outside for you?

Did you even read the OP? Confused
Kcar · 09/11/2020 15:00

Can someone please explain to me how you know if a couple you see in the supermarket has an exception or are ignoring the guidance.

Thanks.

Original poster
Nicknamegoeshere · 09/11/2020 15:01

@Bubbletrouble43 Thank you. I thought I made it perfectly clear re exceptions such as single parents in my initial post? I was a lone parent myself for six years so I do get it!!

OP posts:
Mylittlesandwich · 09/11/2020 15:04

@Smallsteps88 you're right I could go out when I finish work but the more enjoyable option is that DH takes him out during the day when it isn't dark and hopefully isn't pissing with rain. DH doesn't drive so I'll drive us to the supermarket in the evening. Out of the house but indoors out the weather. Not many places like that just now.

As a side note being told to cop myself on always reminds me of my favourite uni flatmate.

CallmeAngelina · 09/11/2020 15:06

@Kcar

Can someone please explain to me how you know if a couple you see in the supermarket has an exception or are ignoring the guidance.

Thanks.

"A" couple? Probably an exception. "Loads of" couples? Less likely.
Kcar · 09/11/2020 15:07

How do you know which of the loads of is the A couple?

Smallsteps88 · 09/11/2020 15:08

So you have no days off work in the week or weekend? No daylight time during which time you can go out with your family? DH doesn’t drive, so why doesn’t he with Ds while you whizz round ASDA?

Smallsteps88 · 09/11/2020 15:11

Why doesnt he stay home with DS

lovellost · 09/11/2020 15:13

We are all turning into controlling busybodies . If you don't like what you see don't look . No one should have to justify why they go shopping with other members of their family 🙄

Mylittlesandwich · 09/11/2020 16:27

We can go out at the weekend. We don't always get the weather. I haven't said that we HAVE to shop together by the way, I know we don't. We just do.

lazylinguist · 09/11/2020 16:32

I thought I made it perfectly clear re exceptions such as single parents in my initial post?

Yes, but the point is when you see these supposedly incredibly annoying people in the supermarket with their children or their husband, you have no idea whether they are single parents or whether they have a good reason to be accompanied by their husband, do you?

Personally, I'm inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt (if it even occurred to me to notice they were not alone going to the supermarket, which it almost certainly wouldn't). Similarly if I notice someone in a shop without a mask, I will assume they are exempt. Because what on earth is the point of frothing about it when you don't even know their circumstances?

Smallsteps88 · 09/11/2020 16:34

I haven't said that we HAVE to shop together by the way, I know we don't. We just do.

That’s the whole point! You don’t have to, but you do to get a family outing Confused