To be annoyed at people shopping in families/couples?

[Nicknamegoeshere]

So I went to the supermarket to do my weekly shop today. Left the baby and my OH at home as I understand the current rules re Covid to be shop alone where possible.

Now I totally respect that in certain circumstances there has to be exceptions to this rule e.g. for lone parents, shopping with a vulnerable person etc.

However, there were a huge number of large families (with both parents) shopping today, lots and lots of couples (young/middle-aged) etc.

Why are so many people blatantly ignoring the guidance?

I find it extraordinary that some people when presented with guidance to help keep the illness at bay spend so much energy working out a way around them. If they spent as much time trying to work to keep safe we’d all be in a much better place. It also means that people with genuine exceptions are doubted as so many have jumped on the ‘it doesn’t apply to me ‘ bandwagon.

I go food shopping with my DS he is nearly 18 & has an eating disorder, he has to decide what food he wants for the week, we put things in the trolley then get a taxi home as neither of us drive, so that may be why people have shopping in their trolleys, I was more concerned in my local supermarket last week that hardly any member of staff were wearing masks, surely not every employee is exempt, I hate wearing one it makes me hot & bothered, I can’t see due to my glasses being steamed up too!

People have reasons for shopping in couples or as a family.
Personally I have back issues which mean that although I can push a trolley round the supermarket, and look like everything is OK, in fact it can end up causing me me so much pain that I can't work for the next few days. My condition is manageable if I am really careful.
So I never go shopping alone- i always have someone to push the trolley. I am the main cook in our household, so it makes sense for me to be the one to do the shopping, if I send DH or DS alone, they can't make the sort of decisions that I would - eg if there's no xxxx what to get instead, changing the menuplan whilst going round.
But I work in a school, today I have taught in 3 different year groups, in small, packed classrooms.I think that is more of an issue than worrying about who is shopping with their partner unnecessarily.

I'm shopping in a couple at the min as I'm 39 weeks pregnant and therefore wouldn't want to go alone but trying to write a list for my partner to follow is a nightmare as hell forget things and have to phone me to ask about stuff about 10 times. We wear masks, we stay out of peoples way, what's the harm?

I used to feel the same way until I became one of "those people".

I go shopping with my DH for 3 reasons:

1. Despite being almost genius level he just cannot shop for shit (even with a list) and he point blank refuses to go alone.

2. I can't shop alone due to an underlying anxiety disorder so I need someone with me. The one time I tried when the supermarkets were chaos and queuing came into effect I literally had a complete meltdown and was stranded in Tesco for 2hrs and they wouldn't let my DH in to retrieveme, luckily a quick thinking member of staff spotted me and came to my rescue.

I'm lucky that all my kids are older and can stay at home, if this was circa 10 years ago I would have all 6 of them with us.

That's the reality of many so yeah, YANBVU.

Forgot number 3: I don't drive and don't live near the supermarkets.

My DH and I go together as he takes a trolley for our household (just us, but I am a childminder who provides food - so full trolley). I take a trolley and get my elderly, and partially disabled, parents weekly shop and my elderly neighbours weekly shop so another full trolley.

After a fifty hour week of work and cleaning/caring for my parents I really cannot face going around a supermarket twice in my own, loading and unloading the car and putting my parents shopping away. So maybe some of those in couples etc really need to be there togther? Try not to judges is my advice.

I get weekly deliveries from the butcher and from the grocer and so for small infrequent top up shops my husband or would I go alone or we might take 1 of our kids but no more than that.

A much bigger concern is why my husband came home from a large Sainsbury’s near us on the weekend and said he estimated about 50% of shoppers had no masks.

but trying to write a list for my partner to follow is a nightmare as hell forget things and have to phone me to ask about stuff about 10 times.

Goodness, how does he manage to dress himself in the mornings? Does he have a job?

YANBU at all. I am sick of peoples attitude. Why do people think they are exempt from the rules. All of the 'Yeh, but I am special' is why we are in lockdown 2.0.
I helped during the first lock-down, and worked at our local supermarket. I was a marshall on the doors - and the policy was to work to the government guidance of 1 Adult per household. I was sworn at, spat at and had a trolley rammed at me on more than one occasion for asking people to shop one per household. I was totally shocked at the appalling behaviour. I hadn't realised how selfish we had become.

1. People who worked in shops during the first lock-down were 50-65% more likely to become infected. These are often low-paid workers doing their absolute best to keep shops open and shelves full. Show them some respect and follow the guidelines to keep them safe. YOU ARE NOT ABOVE THEM
2. If you have Covid - it is likely to be spread within a household potentially prior to symptoms. Therefore, the more people in an enclosed environment from the same household increases the risk.
3. Numbers are restricted. A families day out leaves people stood outside in queues, which leads to frustration and anger -always taken out on the poor staff.

So, in summary, what some of you are saying is that you're happy with increasing thr risk of spreading Covid because your husband is "incapable" of shopping on his own? As in, he can't buy the right things?

All these “genius” men who can’t buy food. What on Earth are we doing wrong in society?

@luluw41

Because you can get the shopping done in half the time, if you both take alternate isles. Get the shopping packed and through the till twice as fast, thus halving your possible exposure time to covid. I don’t drive and so it’d be pointless my husband sitting in the car waiting when he could be helping.

If people shopped like this you’d be right but they don’t. All the couples I see shopping together shamble about, block the aisles, spend ten minutes discussing what kind of soup they fancy. It never takes two people half the time.

Numbers are restricted. A families day out leaves people stood outside in queues

This is another good point. Someone bringing the family for a bit of quality family time means 3/4 people who actually need to be there standing outside in winter waiting to be allowed in. Nice.

We don’t use online services - have tried to leave those slots for the vulnerable and those that need to self isolate. So like the op I too get annoyed by the number of people in a supermarket in groups that could easily be just one person. To those saying I don’t drive so need other half to drive - why can’t they wait in the car?

Agreed

@HotChoc10 - fair enough

Some might have reasons I guess although I can’t think why you would want to if you didn’t have to. Like I have to take the kids to the shops as a single parent but like if I could go shopping without them I would because really who wants their kids complaining the whole way round the shop anyway?

TBh I’ve yet to see compelling evidence that the virus is transmitted in shops. And I say that as a senior manager for a major supermarket chain and I advise the covid resilience team.

The fact is, we have seen no major outbreaks among staff, and where there has been transmission it is through families or car share situations. So on the basis staff aren’t getting infected, it seems highly unlikely that customers are.

Obviously it works due to masks, limiting numbers, hand sanitising etc, so don’t all go mad and pack into shops.

Tbh I think everyone should be worrying and concentrating on themselves and them selves only.. made me laugh laugh some people saying shopping with partners is controlling and clingy ? WTH !! Maybe in your relationship but some people actually just enjoy each other company and is an opportunity to talk have a look at items and chat about dinner ideas, what ice cream they ate as a child .. rather than rushing around cooking cleaning tidying up after kids etc ! I think everyone should mind there own business and as long as you can buy the items you needed then that’s it. If that’s all you guys have to moan about then good on you , yabu totally, a walk at ins a shop is all people have left to do so mind your own

There is no reason why both adults need to be in the shop even if they are there to drive or help carry the shopping. Drivers can always wait in the car (with kids if they are there too) and the odd few people waiting outside to help carry things home has got to be better than waiting inside. It bugs me more when the whole family are there and loudly telling kids off for yelling or having a meltdown in the shop, when one of the adults could be waiting in the car or outside with them (if it's good weather). No need for most of it.

Tbh this used to annoy me before Covid. Not so much couples or parents on their own with children but families with at least two adults and their children.
Just why?
Children screaming, or demanding stuff and parents stressed out, why can't one stay at home with the children?
Anyway YANBU. No need for the whole family to go shopping (obviously there are exceptions).

@Caplin

TBh I’ve yet to see compelling evidence that the virus is transmitted in shops. And I say that as a senior manager for a major supermarket chain and I advise the covid resilience team.

The fact is, we have seen no major outbreaks among staff, and where there has been transmission it is through families or car share situations. So on the basis staff aren’t getting infected, it seems highly unlikely that customers are.

Obviously it works due to masks, limiting numbers, hand sanitising etc, so don’t all go mad and pack into shops.

But people need a regular supply of things to get annoyed by 😂

There's no queues here at all so how are two people shopping hurting anyone?

@Rosebel

Tbh this used to annoy me before Covid. Not so much couples or parents on their own with children but families with at least two adults and their children. Just why? Children screaming, or demanding stuff and parents stressed out, why can't one stay at home with the children? Anyway YANBU. No need for the whole family to go shopping (obviously there are exceptions).

Just why is it any of your concern?? Why do you care?

@movingonup20

There's no queues here at all so how are two people shopping hurting anyone?

There are queues here. Because, you know, we aren’t all in the same place.