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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Are you really following lockdown rules?

490 replies

CoronaOneSoz · 08/11/2020 13:36

I work and kids are at school but I've been following the lockdown rules. Not met anyone. I know I could bubble up as I'm a single parent. Anyway i spoke to my sister and parents today and they have all met up together. Sister has 2 kids and a husband, the kids go to school and they both work. My parents are still relatively young and work, no health issues. They also still have my other sister at home who also works. I was abit shocked but they just laughed and said they don't care they will still meet up. I'm not pissed off I'm more disappointed with them. Aibu for feeling like that? Just been told I need to lighten up as i told them they are breaking the rules.

OP posts:
StrippedFridge · 09/11/2020 20:12

Yes, following the rules, even though I think they are stupid.

Well, except for not always standing 2m apart from parents and children at school pick up and playground afterwards. All that is outdoors.

StealthPolarBear · 09/11/2020 20:14

Apologies if this has been discussed but why are Starbucks open and Costa closed?

NameChange84 · 09/11/2020 20:16

@StealthPolarBear

Apologies if this has been discussed but why are Starbucks open and Costa closed?
Both open locally where I am...
annabel85 · 09/11/2020 20:32

@Fcuk38

What a load of tosh like he’s going to get stopped by the police and asked where he’s going. Completly in the rules anyway if he lives on his own he can have a support bubble so you can mix with him.
None of the rules about mixing are actually being enforced at all by the police for the most part. Unless you're having a rave, a huge house party or the local pub have opened illegally then they're not going to be interested.
Chicchicchicchiclana · 09/11/2020 20:35

I'm pretty sure I've stuck to the rules apart from right at the beginning in March when my dh and ds were ill with covid, I couldn't get a supermarket delivery and I didn't feel I could ask my friends and neighbours to buy and deliver everything needed for a family of 4 adults daily for 3 weeks.

Wearethechampionsmyfriend · 09/11/2020 20:43

Strawberrypancakes
I think everyone needs to stop concerning themselves with what everyone else is doing.
This kind of comment really annoys me, we should all be concerned especially if people aren't following the rules, that's how the virus keeps going !

Bookmark

THEDEACON · 09/11/2020 20:58

Totally following the regulations for my area Anyone who isn't is entitled selfish and stupid

PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2020 21:02

@StealthPolarBear

Apologies if this has been discussed but why are Starbucks open and Costa closed?
They are both open for takeaway/drive through here
fellrunner85 · 09/11/2020 21:04

I'm following the rules. But I can completely understand why people who live near me have started bending them.

We've been under lockdown since March in one form or another and the rules have been absolutely fucking baffling.
At one point half our borough was in lockdown and the other wasn't. The council area was actually split up with different rules for different areas of a borough. People weren't sure which bit they lived in, and it wasn't as if gov.uk or the media were clear either.
Then tier 2, tier 3, rule of 6, no household contact, first you can see family in pubs but not gardens; then gardens but not pubs; then neither. And that's just one borough. Add in the fact most people I know don't work in the borough they live in, so have different rules on public transport and so on when they're trying to get to work, and it gets even more bewildering. Then this latest lockdown came in, which at least added clarity where before there was none.

I can completely understand why people who haven't been through this lockdown hokey-cokey think the rules are simple. I guess if you're in Cornwall or the Cotswolds or somewhere then you were either in or out. It's been nice and straightforward. You had a summer where you could see friends indoors and go for meals and so on. Relative normality.

But where I am, this latest lockdown is basically the same as last week was, except the shops are mainly shut when they weren't before. People are tired. They're frustrated. They're seeing rates rising despite not having seen their friends and family for the best part of a year. It feels like all that effort has gone to nothing. So yeah, I won't be judging people who go and have a cup of tea with their sister, or let their kids see Grandma for an hour or two.

EllyNC · 09/11/2020 21:20

Following the rules here!

Requinblanc · 09/11/2020 21:26

No.

I wear a mask when in shops/public transport, use hand sanitisers and have been working from home since March.

But I have met up with some friends outside the bubble system. I do that because it makes no sense to me that I could seat in an office with several colleagues, go into a supermarket or a the London tube where there is hardly any social distancing and be surrounded by people, yet I cannot meet with a loved one while still taking precautions.

I am in London and I see people everywhere ignoring the rules. Most people in my circle have broken them by continuing to meet up with friends and/or people they had just started dating.

I must also say that I have a long term health issue, not something that makes me more vulnerable to the virus but something that makes me very aware I will not make old bones and I am certainly not going to spend whatever time I have left alone, locked in my flat.

Ravenesque · 09/11/2020 21:34

Following the rules. Had a friend staying over on Tuesday so we could beat the lookdown, we hadn't seen each other all year, and that's that until we are out of lockdown-lite again.

I take it seriously because my immune system isn't all it should be which could mean that if I got it I'd be properly ill but beyond that someone very close to me is having ongoing treatment for cancer and while I won't see him again until after lockdown I have done nothing since March that would possibly put him in danger.

HerculesMuligan · 09/11/2020 21:41

I think a lot of people obsessing over The Rules have lost sight of the big picture.

Yes Covid is dangerous and yes we should do what we can within reason to stop the NHS being overwhelmed. Since March I’ve reduced the contact I have with others by around 80-90%, through not commuting to work, not being able to go on holidays or to theatre/gigs, or to meet up with big groups of friends. That drop of 80-90% is pretty substantial - and there’s absolutely no way I’m going to martyr myself to make it drop further. So yes, I am going out shopping for non-essentials, bending childcare bubble guidelines, etc.

Yes, I could stop doing these things and lower the contact I have with others by a further 2% or whatever. But I honestly think any ‘gains’ in terms of reduced risk would be minuscule, when set against my mental health and well-being.

And for those about to call me selfish - if you’ve ever broken the speed limit by 2mph, you’ve done exactly the same as me. You’ve made a judgement that could affect your health and that of other people but have decided the risk was worth it.

StealthPolarBear · 09/11/2020 21:44

Thanks NameChange84 and others. It was a comment made on this thread which didn't make sense. Presumably that posters Costa is closed ofr other reasons.

IRIELADY · 09/11/2020 21:47

Yes I am

MintyMabel · 09/11/2020 21:57

I do that because it makes no sense to me that I could seat in an office with several colleagues, go into a supermarket or a the London tube where there is hardly any social distancing and be surrounded by people, yet I cannot meet with a loved one while still taking precautions.

It’s because you are around colleagues and in the supermarket, (things you have to do) that you shouldn’t meet other people when you don’t need to. Precautions or not, the risk is still there.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 09/11/2020 22:10

It’s so different to last time. I drove past the dry cleaners today and couldn’t figure why it was closed. Totally forget that it’s supposed to be a lockdown. Took kids to school, went to Waitrose, met friend for coffee outside Starbucks. Popped in to see my mum. And then wondered why the dry cleaners was closed! In NW London - nobody doing it.

tenlittlecygnets · 09/11/2020 22:18

We're following the rules! Like we did the last time...

Christmaspud20 · 09/11/2020 22:27

Nope not fully because I had my dm round today, was meant to meet for a walk but it chucked down when she had walked to here. So she came in for a cuppa. But I know 100 percent she doesn't see anyone else whatsoever and I'd furloughed so I'm happy with the small risk

My DF is my bubble. As he's a single parent.

My inlaws are our informal childcare so see them

FancySomeChips · 09/11/2020 22:29

I am.
I work in a school too.
And am a single parent.
My children’s year has been ruined, next year for the first half is too, so I am hoping that by doing what I can, 2022 will be back to normal.
I think those not following the rules are selfish and ignorant.

Chrisshaw911 · 09/11/2020 22:54

Yep following the rules

People who don’t are just low life

DrizzleandDamp · 09/11/2020 22:58

Ish.

I have a “bubble” but need another 2 people to provide the lifts from school that I need to keep working I’m afraid. We don’t socialise but both of them teach the kids school approved after school sports (within the rules), so is it really going to kill anyone if they give them a lift home after so I can work? They don’t come over for dinner or anything!

Other than that I have sat and had a cup of tea at one end of my mums massive garden with her, also against the rules but we have to apply a bit of common sense.

Isaidnomorecrisps · 09/11/2020 23:06

Yep I am. Though driving through South London on Saturday to get to my bubble partner you wouldn’t know there was any virus - it was packed.

It really isn’t about civil liberty, it’s about getting out of this quickly. Every single shared counter or door or inside-shop can spread it.

I get the mental health issues, but everyone is out. If we can’t see family at Xmas it’s those people’s fault. They are spreading it, causing more job losses and wrecking everyone’s life. But feel free to complain about everyone else.

DaphneduWarrior · 09/11/2020 23:20

Haven’t RTFT but yes, I am. I’ve been working from home since March, I’ve only seen a few friends f2f all year, and I’m only seeing my bf this month. The more we stick to this, the fewer people will die.

Haven’t seen my family since last Xmas, and I won’t be seeing them this Xmas. Their health is more important than me having a good time for one day.

FromEden · 09/11/2020 23:20

I can't help but think people who are still happy to meet with friends and family don't care about them very much or they wouldn't risk infecting them.

The same could be said for any other virus - colds, flu, norovirus etc. But no one ever says it about those because its ridiculous.