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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu? Are you really following lockdown rules?

490 replies

CoronaOneSoz · 08/11/2020 13:36

I work and kids are at school but I've been following the lockdown rules. Not met anyone. I know I could bubble up as I'm a single parent. Anyway i spoke to my sister and parents today and they have all met up together. Sister has 2 kids and a husband, the kids go to school and they both work. My parents are still relatively young and work, no health issues. They also still have my other sister at home who also works. I was abit shocked but they just laughed and said they don't care they will still meet up. I'm not pissed off I'm more disappointed with them. Aibu for feeling like that? Just been told I need to lighten up as i told them they are breaking the rules.

OP posts:
alltoowell · 08/11/2020 14:07

Yes I am and so are most of my friends.

It's not out of blind support of the government because they're doing such a shit job but I want to do the right thing and keep myself and others safe.
There's too many people around me testing positive for me to want to take any risks.
People who aren't following the rules are risking others as well as themselves.

Northernshepherd · 08/11/2020 14:08

Danger mouse it wouldn't be against the rules for you to bubble with your parents. If you don't want to fair enough but seeing them, if you were to form a support bubble, would be well within the rules.

480Widdio · 08/11/2020 14:08

Not following the rules.I,did in the last lockdown,I could get out in the garden.My mental health has taken a big dip this lockdown,so I am meeting up with my family and friends and going shopping.

I swim every day for my mental and physical health and not being able to is soul destroying.

I have no money worries,my heart breaks for people who do.

Amazed at what shops are still open,even the jewellers and the vintage shop!People are sticking two fingers up to the Government this time,good to see.

Shaniac · 08/11/2020 14:10

I personally think we are in a fucked up dystopia where people are banned from seeing their own families and those who do are treated with scorn and anger. Fucking crazy man.

ScrapThatThen · 08/11/2020 14:10

I would like my recently bereaved very isolated father to be able to come and stay, for support, but siblings disagree it's within the rules and it is a long way to travel so he might get stopped and can't/won't really say 'I'm lonely'. Dhs mum also lives alone and still wants visits from him and his sister which is hard to say no to. Also probably within the rules as they do some jobs when there that she can't do. My mum doesn't live alone so we are sticking to the garden. As for anything else, all not an issue.

GlamGiraffe · 08/11/2020 14:10

Completely following rules here. As far as i am aware my entire extended family are and all but one of my friends who doesnt seem to understand most of the rules most of the time. (Amazingly she didnt understand the rule six, initially thinking it meant throwing some of her household but then thinking it meant you could have six other people in your house at any time. So with the new rules it hopeless)

Kljnmw3459 · 08/11/2020 14:13

Most people round here are mostly following the rules.

Blondiney · 08/11/2020 14:13

I'm following the guidlines, it's not difficult. Why wouldn't I?

Oooohbehave · 08/11/2020 14:14

I think I am. I'm not meeting people from other households but my kids are going to the park with their friends. I think that's allowed but if not then yes I'm breaking the rules. If lockdown is still in place at Christmas then I will be breaking them, I'm not being told I can't see my family over Christmas.

DangerMouse17 · 08/11/2020 14:15

Thanks @Northernshepherd Flowers

sleepwouldbenice · 08/11/2020 14:15

@alltoowell

Yes I am and so are most of my friends.

It's not out of blind support of the government because they're doing such a shit job but I want to do the right thing and keep myself and others safe.
There's too many people around me testing positive for me to want to take any risks.
People who aren't following the rules are risking others as well as themselves.

As above for all points Really shows people’s moral compass when you see some of the reasons people give for being able to do what they like
ballsdeep · 08/11/2020 14:17

@Strawberrypancakes

I think everyone needs to stop concerning themselves with what everyone else is doing.
Agree. I see my parents because they provide childcare. I'm in school with a bubble of 90 so it's ridiculous that I can't see my parents, although I do for pick ups and drop offs
FlingingFlangingHardToOpen · 08/11/2020 14:18

Basically following rules here and we were in a higher tier before lockdown anyway. Have to admit I’m finding it harder to get into that full ‘lockdown’ mentality this time eg I’ve got out of the habit of making sure we have everything on the weekly shop to avoid quick trips to the corner shop.

We’ve generally been compliant though throughout, apart from one big rule breach that I still feel uneasy about. I had my reasons, and I’m sure lots of other people who break the rules have reasons. Either way, I can’t control what they’re doing so I just focus on what I can control, which is staying out of their way.

ShanghaiDiva · 08/11/2020 14:19

I am as my dm is in our bubble and has COPD and lung cancer.
The only rule I am flexing slightly is going out to exercise and drive 20 mins to go to the beach or walk on common. We do this anyway and keep away from other people so don’t see it as increasing our risk of getting Covid.

NameChange84 · 08/11/2020 14:19

I am, yes.

I had a walk yesterday though and many people are not. I saw lots and lots of huge families/friendship groups in the park. So 3 or 4 couples and all of their children hanging out having picnics etc. It was quite hard to social distance as obviously these large groups of 8 to 15 people all walking on the same paths, stopping to chat/help a child/ take pictures etc meant that most of the room on the paths were taken up. And obviously it wasn’t just one large group, it was dozens plus smaller families, couples and singles.

It’s just simple really...I won’t walk in the park for the near future and will stick to the walking by the main roads rather than green spaces. I’m especially careful as I have to shield but the first lockdown has led to a deterioration in my cardiac condition (as we were originally told it wasn’t safe to leave the garden or take or bins out Brew) and I do feel I need to walk a bit to help my heart out and get more vitamin D.

saraclara · 08/11/2020 14:20

I'm following them and so are the people l know. I want Christmas to happen and my family to stay well.

I cannot control anyone else therefore I am not worrying about it. It's not good for your mental health

Exactly. I'm trying to tune out with regards to anyone else. Staying sane is my priority right now.

Singinghollybob · 08/11/2020 14:20

We are but know lots who aren't.

Offtothedogs · 08/11/2020 14:20

Yes and no. My behaviour is generally very low-risk - I only shop for essentials, have been to the pub twice since March and haven't been to anywhere over the summer with large groups of people ie attractions and so on. Not through fear of getting Covid, just cos it's not our thing and we're lucky to live somewhere we can be in beautiful and fairly empty countryside easily. Pretty much all the socialising we've done since the first lockdown has been outside.
But - we are still seeing parents (my mum and DH's mum and dad). And both of them are also seeing their other children and grandchildren. DH's parents are getting on a bit and are not prepared to live a half-life anymore, and I don't blame them one bit. It's gone on too long now to insist people stay apart from their loved ones; we have all decided we'll minimise risk wherever else we can but that isn't happening.

DDIJ · 08/11/2020 14:20

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

lynsey91 · 08/11/2020 14:22

Yes me and DH are following the rules as are my parents, both my siblings and their partners, my neices and partners and nephews and partners.

Also all my friends seem to be following the rules. My neighbours are not but most of them are idiots

Simplyunacceptable · 08/11/2020 14:23

Yes we are but whilst the DC are going to school and DH is at work it does seem totally futile.

Offtothedogs · 08/11/2020 14:23

Shanghai you're not bending the rules, you're allowed to do that!

Rosebel · 08/11/2020 14:23

And there you have it. No wonder people are dying because selfish people don't care. It makes me so angry.
I'd like to see my family at Christmas but we'll still be in lockdown thanks to people who think the rules don't apply to them. Obviously they will still see their family because somehow they know the virus won't kill them.
I can't help but think people who are still happy to meet with friends and family don't care about them very much or they wouldn't risk infecting them.

BonnieDundee · 08/11/2020 14:24

I personally think we are in a fucked up dystopia where people are banned from seeing their own families and those who do are treated with scorn and anger. Fucking crazy man.

There was an MP during the debate who said he wasnt happy being part of a system that criminalised people for seeing their family

ImMoana · 08/11/2020 14:24

@TroysMammy

I follow rules and if God forbid my parents caught Covid then I know it wouldn't have been passed on by me. It's the guilt my sister would have to shoulder as she's flouting the rules.
Same situation here.
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