To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

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On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated and quite middle class. They come across as being interested in lots of different things, most have been to university and got married etc. In real life the people I know are just, what I would consider, "normal". Some have been to college or university, some haven't. None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes, lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock. From some things I've read on here (not all), these would be classed as "bad decisions". Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't "match" their day to day life? (Sorry, not very good at putting things in to words).

@MiniMum97

The main difference I find is that there are more people on MN who are vehemently anti things they I find perfectly normal. There's a whole load of people out there that seem to think everyone who has ever raised their voice is immediately an abuser. And people are way more argumentative and get REALLY invested in things that are nothing to do with them. I don't think that represents the norm irl.

Although there is a generally middle class demographic on MN. I think there's still a good amount of other types of people too.

I never knew until I came across MN that some people think it's entitled to use a parent and child parking space when you're a parent with a child 😂

There's a weird consensus on MN that marriage equals protection for women like they can't make their own money. I don't have much but I'd stand to lose more being married.

Many posters seem to hate men who don't want to marry if they have assets/earn more than their girlfriends but if you reverse the sexes he's a cocklodger.

Most mners are normal women bimbling along, chatting about this and that, like RL people.
But think of that friend of yours who you never want to get onto the subject of Man U say, or the new teacher at their kids school.

MN is full of those people. Wander onto any thread, Aldi vs Lidl, How to Wean Your Baby, Roast Potato Tips, Womens Rights, Teenage Curfews, or even Trump; Just How Bad Can An Orange Man Be , and you WILL find that friend in all her glory.

Theres no one to head her off here, you see.

And it looks like MN is full of universally witty and well informed people but actually it's full of everyday people each with her specialist topic that no one listens to at home.

I sound snippy, I'm not really, I'm a dog with a bone myself at times too - but no one is like that on every subject.

I am torn between wanting to know wtf a 'safari supper' is and not wanting to know. Probably best to go for the latter. Doesn't sound like my sort of thing.

I would like to know too and possibly even attend one!

@Sparklingbrook

I am torn between wanting to know wtf a 'safari supper' is and not wanting to know. Probably best to go for the latter. Doesn't sound like my sort of thing.

Thank goodness you said that. I assumed everyone except me knew!

So, what is a safari supper?

I don't know anyone that rents or lives in council houses, or is on benefits. I also don't know anyone who has lost their job through COVID but it feels like there are loads on Mumsnet.

@wellthatsunusual I can only assume everyone dresses in khaki, eating zebra burgers or elephant sausages. Doesn't sound as if there would be much in the way of a vegan option. Not really sure-but that's fine.

Thanks for all the interesting responses. :) I find it so bizarre that some of you don't know anyone who rents!

I also do not know what a safari supper is 😁 tiger bread?!

I don't think all the high earning posters are lying but perhaps exaggerating. To put it in perspective only about 60k women in the UK earn 150k plus which is obviously a tiny %.

I actually really enjoy Xenia's posts as she has a good perspective.

Hmm, I think its luck of the draw. Or rather, that certain Mumsnetters are drawn to different posts.

I have posted when I am really down and have been given an absolute kicking, but I have Seb other posts where the troops rally and build a woman up. It's as if the first response is key to the whole thread.

Gracious, lots of places have them in various iterations.

In our circle about fifty people gather for drinks and canapés at the organisers house. People not hosting drop off wine and canapés.
Then envelopes are distributed telling people where they are going for a starter. During the starter another envelope is handed out to tell people where they are going to for the main course. People go to a different house for each course and are mixed up.
Then everyone staggers to the final venue for cheese and puddings. Again, people not hosting bring a pudding or cheeseboard rather than canapés.
All carefully timed to start with. Great fun.

I think you're more likely to be surrounded by people like yourself, because of your background and education. Birds of a feather and all that.

I find this a bit weird. I'm not in the UK, but here people know all sorts of other people and mix with them, their background and education counts for a lot less - and I'm thankful for that.

Few dress in khaki - uniforms generally discouraged but number 2s acceptable. Usually black tie worn, but by no means compulsory.

@CherryPavlova

Gracious, lots of places have them in various iterations.

In our circle about fifty people gather for drinks and canapés at the organisers house. People not hosting drop off wine and canapés.
Then envelopes are distributed telling people where they are going for a starter. During the starter another envelope is handed out to tell people where they are going to for the main course. People go to a different house for each course and are mixed up.
Then everyone staggers to the final venue for cheese and puddings. Again, people not hosting bring a pudding or cheeseboard rather than canapés.
All carefully timed to start with. Great fun.

That sounds ok to me! You don't have to cook dinner for 50 people though do you? Does it mean that 4 people go to house number 5 and four people go to house number 10 etc? Then all meet up again at the end?

I also find some MNs opinions really odd. Knocking on someone's door unannounced is uncouth, accidentally forgetting to paying for something is akin to first degree murder. You should never mind your business regarding neighbours, parking except when it comes to reporting a benefit cheat. Oh and offering 10% under when buying a house is apparently cheeky

I've really liked MN over the years. I've enjoyed what I'd call 'sensible discussions and debates' about all kinds of topics with articulate people who have expressed a range of views and really made me think. I have learned a lot, about all kinds of topics from plumbing (Piglet John) to property and education.

I've also been interested in the different approaches to life which emerge which I don't see in real life.....those who are always furious, want to make a complaint and gave someone sacked and who are going through life as a battle where everyone is a potential enemy. Those who hate men or those who say they aren't interested in relationships but lots of no-strings sex. Those in unhappy relationships and those who face almost unimaginable difficulties with several children with severe special needs. Those who are hysterical about everything to do with setting children boundaries, and those for whom Christmas Day is a time to buy t,he biggest possible pile of presents, and run up debts that will last the next year. It's all a bit different to what I'm used to in RL and I find it interesting and sometimes downright daft how people make choices and reason things out, but also just that there are such a range of people.

The people you 'meet' on here are often determined by the thread topics you choose. AIBU often attracts those who want to blurt out views and see things in black and white on the basis of very little information. If you go on the financial threads or some of the education threads or philosophical threads you might get different people posting to those on some of the threads about parking or shopping.

I think there is a big range here still. Not everyone writes in a way which sounds well-educated and clearly reasoned or coming from a middle-class angle, by any means. And lots of people who don't come from a middle-class vantage point often are as empathetic and sensible and balanced as anyone.

In RL I probably do find myself mostly with middle aged people who were married in their late 20s/early 30s and had children after marriage and after their uni courses and professional careers, many of whom have carried them on and are doing really well. They worry about being good mums and getting through the week and school choices and their relationships and children's happiness and their ageing parents. But I also spend time with people who have really financially struggled, will never own a home and probably never hold a job down for more than a couple of weeks either....and I find I like to talk to lots of different people. So I like it on MN too.

@CherryPavlova is that a safari supper? Never heard of it but my parents are immigrants. Sounds like something from Midsomer Murders.

I do love when CherryPavlova talks about food. Is it Christmas Day with the Cumberland sauce and star shaped cherry pavlova?

@CherryPavlova

Few dress in khaki - uniforms generally discouraged but number 2s acceptable. Usually black tie worn, but by no means compulsory.

Great! I think.

wellthatsunusual, exactly. People say how many they can host. Usually groups of about 8-10 except at beginning and end when everyone comes together. Nobody does more than one course. Pudding house host gets worst deal as people are oiled and reluctant to leave by then, so it can be late/early and someone usually asks for coffee to complicate it.

I’m a single mum to a 7 month old, I live in a tiny 2 bed terraced with barely any garden, I have basically no money. I also feel out of place here

Part embellishment and part people are more truthful on here, people can express views they might not feel able to voice to their friends/family/co-workers, you never really know someone as well as you'd like to think.

A lot of things that women on here will say is a wise decision will be based on the fact that we live in a largely economically unequal society (won't even mention social as I know that's pretty contentious to some.)

I know more people that own than rent because most people I know are 50+; of the under 40's I know about half rent. I live in an affordable area, you can buy a house for £180k upwards so it's why so many do, of relatives in Surrey, most of the younger ones rent or are in tiny help to buy flats.

Funkypolar Christmas Eve. Not this year though, I imagine.