To think people on Mumsnet are nothing like anyone I know in real life

[MustBe3OrMoreCharacterss]

On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated and quite middle class. They come across as being interested in lots of different things, most have been to university and got married etc. In real life the people I know are just, what I would consider, "normal". Some have been to college or university, some haven't. None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes, lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock. From some things I've read on here (not all), these would be classed as "bad decisions". Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't "match" their day to day life? (Sorry, not very good at putting things in to words).

Working class poster here - I'm not afraid to express my opinions. It's an anonymous forum so if I make a tit of myself, it doesn't matter to me. In my experience, people who have money aren't necessarily more intelligent, knowledgeable or even better educated than those with an average or low income.

Gosh, I know people (now successful professionals) who had babies at 15, and others who started their families at over 40. Surely it takes all sorts to make a landscape out of families. The only people I struggle to empathise with are the mothers who are totally baby obsessed. Having a family is ENTIRELY routine and normal.

@MustBe3OrMoreCharacterss

Thanks for the responses. I'm on my own with a 6 month old and on universal credit. I didn't go to university. I often feel inferior on here.

Don’t. You’re not.

This from a middle-class, university-educated, very comfortable mum of four who owns a business and is interested in all sorts.

We are—generally—here as parents and women. We all struggle.

I’ve learned a lot here from everyone over the years and developed more understanding of people whose circumstances are different from my own. That’s not patronising, it’s genuine “I’ve been schooled,” and I’m grateful for it.

There is loads on Mumsnet that I identify with and loads that I don't. Most of my friends and family are university educated and in 'professional' jobs but they're not necessarily all in well paid jobs. I do know quite a few people on six figure salaries, mostly colleagues, but most people I know don't earn anywhere near that. I live in an area with very low salaries so the high earners are very out of step with other people here in terms of earnings. None of the high earners I know spend their time berating others for making the wrong choices in life and accusing everyone else of being jealous of them the way people often do on Mumsnet. In my 'real life', I've never known a middle class couple to have children without getting married eg because they object to marriage on principal. And I don't know very many people who rent. And, I know this sounds utterly bonkers, but I have never known anyone who lives in a flat. As a teenager I dreamed of living in a flat because it seemed so glamorous, like what I saw on TV. There are far more athiests on Mumsnet than I've ever met in real life. And I've never known anyone in real life to be so easily offended as some of the posters I see on Mumsnet.

All in all, a mixed bag really.

Lol, I have a degree and a masters and I am on universal credit with a 10 month old that I had out of “wedlock”. I don’t notice any kind of majority tbh, all different walks of life.

OP I’m with you!

I used to be that single parent on benefits who had no qualifications and used to come on here and it was a life I’d never even heard of (none of my family or friends have been to university or own their own homes etc).

I have had great advice on here from people from all walks of life and I definitely think being on here has helped mould me into the person I am today. I read how successful some of the women were on here and their lifestyles and it made me want that too!
Of course some of the lifestyles on here are still way out of my league and like the people who earn £50k a year and their holiday homes lol.

I am still a single parent but I went to university and now earn £24,000 - it isn’t £50k and alot goes to tax and pensions so I can’t afford to own my own home but I’m getting there slowly lol.

Being on here has shown me how many opportunities there are out there and you can be like that too.

Firstly, I wouldn't believe everything you read on here. Secondly, people aren't superior because they earn more, they may have a different lifesyle but it doesn't mean you need to feel inferior to them. I know people from a fairly wide range of backgrounds , most of my friends are middle income- teachers, social workers, nurses, clinical psychologists, a doctor, lecturers, admin. That's because I met them through university, work etc but I do have friends who are both better and worse off. I choose my friends based on them being reliable, funny, kind, easy to get on with, sharing my views etc. I find some posters on MN very different from people I know because they are quick to take offence, judgmental, rude, competitive, snobbish and confuse feminism with being a selfish twat. I did say some posters. I find MN interesting because the way some people think is a bit of an eye opener. Other posters btw are witty, supportive etc

It also made me realise that no matter what your education level is, how much you earn, your age, if you’re in a long term marriage, have a loving family etc - that everyone has problems, no ones life is perfect and we all struggle with different things. Oh and raising children is hard work!

The thing I like about MN is that people like @Xenia are here. Not because we share common ground or that I agree with her on a lot of things, but because she offers a different perspective and challenges my view of the world.

For all the posts from people saying they have a high salary there are many who say they have a low salary. The country is very diverse. Who knew?!

It's amusing to read different experience.

It's on MN that I discovered some parents expected to be paid when they invite a child on holiday with them.

I don't tend to think people are lying either way tbh.

I don't use MN as an educational experience, and that's probably a good thing.

@Hellothere19999

Lol, I have a degree and a masters and I am on universal credit with a 10 month old that I had out of “wedlock”. I don’t notice any kind of majority tbh, all different walks of life.

Yup.

I'm a real life under achiever despite my education.

On here it doesn't matter. I like the anonymity of it and not being judged on my occupation / social status in quite the same way.

I find it a weird leveller tbh.

The main difference I find is that there are more people on MN who are vehemently anti things they I find perfectly normal. There's a whole load of people out there that seem to think everyone who has ever raised their voice is immediately an abuser. And people are way more argumentative and get REALLY invested in things that are nothing to do with them. I don't think that represents the norm irl.

Although there is a generally middle class demographic on MN. I think there's still a good amount of other types of people too.

"On Mumsnet the majority of posters seem articulate, witty, well educated"

I don't think that's true at all.

@Funkypolar

In real life I don’t know of anyone who lives in a tiny village and has safari suppers and a village Christmas nativity with sheep bedecked in fairy lights. But with Covid I guess that won’t be happening this year.

Sadly no sheep last year but not Covid19 related - change of vicar and the sheep’s owner was very ill and having bone marrow transplant. No safari supper this year either, sadly.

We are still caring for our elders, walking, working, having virtual wine tasting and virtual book clubs. You might not know such villages but they do exist.

I don’t agree with you thinking most mumsnetters are super intelligent, witty and well educated. You might think that by reading some posts, but remember you can be whoever you want to be on here, and some people like to pretend to be something they’re not.

@Lobsterquadrille2

I've mentioned Mumsnet to a couple of people, as in I'm on it, and have been met with a "really?! You?" response. So I suppose I don't know anyone who admits to being on it. I do have a degree, am an accountant and own my own home but have been a sole parent for 23 years, happily single, never married or owned a toilet brush.

Ha ha! Yes I've had that response too on the few occasions it's come up. Not sure why though!?! Not sure why it's viewed differently to any other social media?

I think you're more likely to be surrounded by people like yourself, because of your background and education. Birds of a feather and all that.

Howeve, i must say it really pisses me off when people on here always assume women who say they are high earners are lying. It is like they don't even realise how misogynistic that is.

To add to that, the vast majority of people associate with in my daily life have at least bachelor degrees. Most have post grad qualifications. Some, like myself, have masters level degrees. Two have doctorates.

It all depends on your background.

Majority of people I'm friends with in real life are as you describe but I went to private school so it was expected you went to university, good career, house etc.
That said I see a lot of things on here that I'v never experienced in real life such as on here DC3 is destroying the planet. In real life no one has questioned our decision to have a third child.
My DC are allowed pizza, chocolate and sweets regularly. On here that's a terrible thing but I know from my friends and what I see at the school gates that I'm not alone.

@Whenlifegivesyoulimoncello
I was trying to be subtle, doesn't work for me in real life either ;)

@Sobeyondthehills lol I thought I was!