AIBU people flashing for you to pull out in front of them

[Georgeoftheinternet]

I’ve only been driving in the U.K. for a few years and when I lived overseas everyone followed the strict rules.

The U.K. is different and one thing that annoys me is when you are pulling out of a side road and people flash you to pull out in front of them.

Firstly, if I miss read the flashing of lights/hand gesture and crash into them, it’s my fault.

Secondly, the car behind them can’t see what they are doing and could hit them. There is the chance my car could get his by this impact. I could also be the driver behind and no pay attention for a split second and crash into them.

Thirdly, it’s often pointless and not doing a good turn. For example today I wanted to turn right and a car was driving from my left. He flashed me to come out and there was an empty road (just one car behind them). How is it beneficial to me to save a few second but also maybe cause a crash.

I hate it too. It's like they are trying to police the traffic. I pull out when it's clear, I don't need some car flashing lights to get me to go in front of him when it's clear behind him. If I did pull out and something came the other way and hit me or someone else It'd be my fault, not the idiot flashing his lights. I find it's usually elderly men who do this. They might think they are being nice, but they shouldn't do it.

Usually elderly men? What a daft statement, many people of all ages and both sexes do it

It makes me furious. My bloke does it and it’s crazy. The exception is in very slow moving continuous traffic when it inconveniences nobody and the car joining the road would wait forever otherwise.

“The exception is in very slow moving continuous traffic when it inconveniences nobody and the car joining the road would wait forever otherwise.“

That’s the only time I ever see it happen/ ever do it. There’s some roads you’d never get out of if someone didn’t let you out!

YANBU. The Highway Code advises against it. There's a crash-for-cash scam where a driver will flash their lights then drive into you anyway, and insurers nearly always deem you at fault because officially the flash didn't mean anything. Then you get dangers of drivers behind recklessly overtaking, or of traffic coming the other way.

YANBU OP. I don’t even like this as a pedestrian. It’s always men who do it, there is literally no way to graceful decline their “chivalry”, and I nearly got hit recently because someone waved me across and I couldn’t see past his car, and another was coming from the other direction. Hate it.

It makes me really nervous in case they change their mind after I've started to pull out! I'd prefer to wait until it's clear and go in my own time. I like to stick to the rules then everyone knows where they are.

Sometimes they’re just making a judgement - they might think you look like pulling out anyway and are indicating they aren’t going to continue. And the car behind them should be far enough behind them to stop.

It keeps the traffic moving, especially in the morning and spreads goodwill - If someone lets you out you are more likely to let someone else out. Cars should not be driving so close that they could crash into the one in front if they slightly slow down, and please do make sure you pay full attention when you are driving, so that you don't hit anyone!

I don’t mind it at all when I’m turning left into onto the main road, and the traffic is congested anyway.

What I really can’t stand is when I’m clearly turning right, and somebody flashes you on... disregarding the other lane of traffic that is STILL MOVING, AND NO, I DO NOT FANCY DEATH TODAY, THANKS.

They tend to get the right hump when you ignore them as well!

It’s always men who do it, there is literally no way to graceful decline their “chivalry”, no it isn't.

@LimaFoxtrotCharlie

Usually elderly men? What a daft statement, many people of all ages and both sexes do it

The poster said I find its usually eldery men not its usually elderly men Meaning in her experience 🙄

YANBU, can people also please stop waving me across the road as a pedestrian? Occasionally appreciated when they're part of a long line of moving traffic, but a lot of the time if they'd just carry on out of the way I'd have a clear street to cross, and none of the potential confusion the OP mentions. It's not doing me a favour!

if you're so concerned, you do realise you don't have to pull out because someone is flashing you.. right?

Driven all over the world and it's one of the nicer local customs I've encountered. If you don't want to follow someone's instructions you're not obliged to

I guess I’m an old man then. There are roads where i live that if nobody ever did this, you’d be sitting waiting to get out for long enough. There are even roundabouts where it’s a known etiquette that you let people out.

I nearly got t-boned pulling out after someone flashed me out. As a pp said the other lane was still moving. I had just passed my test. Now I just sit there and wait until I judge that it is safe. Its a dangerous practice

Totally opened This thread because I read the title wrong and thought it was going to be filthy

I like it. It's usually done in situations when it's difficult to see or difficult to pull out ime. So very helpful. But you can just ignore if you are not comfortable. I always check myself and wouldn't just pull out on someone else's say so.

Re your secondly point, if you go into the back of someone who's stopped, that's your error, they could be stopped for any reason at all - way blocked, emergency stop, cyclist, they need to park or turn. You need to leave adequate stopping distance and be ready to stop at any time.

Threads like this worry me about people on the road

If your so under confident driving in road with traffic that someone letting you go is seen as a negative then get off the road

It's a judgment call on both sides. If the person flashing is letting you go it's out kindness 99% of the time.

If I'm sat behind someone who is ignoring the chance to be let through then I'd be beeping at them

Honestly wonder why women drivers get stick, absolutely pathetic

It’s great when it’s a traffic jam you’re trying to join or cross but drives me mad when it’s a car that has a huge empty road behind.

Also on school run, fair enough if it’s thick traffic and you can’t cross but when a single car with a totally clear road behind I would much rather they just passed so I can teach my child to cross when it’s clear not by an increasingly confused series of semaphore with an oncoming driver.

I don't like this. Same as people waving me across the road when I can see there is a car coming in the other direction and they can't.

I just wave them on.

“Women drivers” Jesus

When it’s done sensibly I think it’s kind, but yes it can put you under risky pressure and/or sometimes be done as that irritating I own the road chivalry

I hate this when people actually try to force you to change the rules of the Highway Code eg, giving way when you are turning right and they are oncoming

It just creates confusion and by that, more accidents

If everyone sticks to the conventions it would be much better

You're really overthinking this.

Letting people out is a nice courtesy, I don't think it should be stopped in the U.K. just because it doesn't happen abroad.

Also I'm confused re your point about the car behind them - if the car in front of you stops, you don't keep going and say "oh well you see officer it's because I couldn't see the front of the car, so despite him stopping I decided to carry on going".