AIBU people flashing for you to pull out in front of them

[Georgeoftheinternet]

I’ve only been driving in the U.K. for a few years and when I lived overseas everyone followed the strict rules.

The U.K. is different and one thing that annoys me is when you are pulling out of a side road and people flash you to pull out in front of them.

Firstly, if I miss read the flashing of lights/hand gesture and crash into them, it’s my fault.

Secondly, the car behind them can’t see what they are doing and could hit them. There is the chance my car could get his by this impact. I could also be the driver behind and no pay attention for a split second and crash into them.

Thirdly, it’s often pointless and not doing a good turn. For example today I wanted to turn right and a car was driving from my left. He flashed me to come out and there was an empty road (just one car behind them). How is it beneficial to me to save a few second but also maybe cause a crash.

I hate it too. It sometimes happens to me when I am at a cross roads where the minor road I am on crosses a major one. It is an accident black spot and there have been quite a number of fatalities.

A bus flashed me this morning, wanting to allow me to pull out and across the cross roads (buses often do this) - BUT I could see a black car behind him which then began to move as if to overtake. This is my big worry and it happens most times people (especially buses) do this - the vehicle behind tries to overtake.

I never pull out when invited to like this and I have emphasised to my DSs not to do so either. It is a recipe for death.

The Highway Code is there for a reason, and it works very well.

Anyone that thinks otherwise should need to re-take their driving test before being allowed on the road.

@Bidl

I do it on really congested roads if I can see a long line of traffic behind me because I know how frustrating it is to try and get out of a side road.

I also see it as a kind gesture and like someone said up thread. You let someone in and someone else let’s you in. And as for the other lane - you have eyes!!! Check the other lanes as you would any other time. Why wouldn’t you!

The thread is about roads where there isn’t any traffic.

With regards to checking the road, no point being pressured into turning out too quickly.

@TheNighthawk

I hate it too. It sometimes happens to me when I am at a cross roads where the minor road I am on crosses a major one. It is an accident black spot and there have been quite a number of fatalities.

A bus flashed me this morning, wanting to allow me to pull out and across the cross roads (buses often do this) - BUT I could see a black car behind him which then began to move as if to overtake. This is my big worry and it happens most times people (especially buses) do this - the vehicle behind tries to overtake.

I never pull out when invited to like this and I have emphasised to my DSs not to do so either. It is a recipe for death.

Good mum. Children learn to drive from their parents.

@Georgeoftheinternet, it is very risky to flash when there is more than one car involved, I agree. Also, once I saw a long queue of cars and one car left a gap to let another car go through the gap (from a side street) to drive right over the road to another side street.
Unfortunately the car did not stop to check that there was no other traffic coming and caused a collision.

However, there is a side street by where I live and when I come up to it, if there is a driver I make eye contact and wave them to get in front of me when it is safe only otherwise they could be waiting ages to get out.

It depends. If stopping to let someone out is going to stop the flow of traffic, it’s dangerous. If they are just being chivalrous it’s nice.

Yanbu.
I move when the highway code says it's my turn to move. The other driver usually gets annoyed but that's their problem.

[quote OscarRIP]@Georgeoftheinternet, it is very risky to flash when there is more than one car involved, I agree. Also, once I saw a long queue of cars and one car left a gap to let another car go through the gap (from a side street) to drive right over the road to another side street.
Unfortunately the car did not stop to check that there was no other traffic coming and caused a collision.

However, there is a side street by where I live and when I come up to it, if there is a driver I make eye contact and wave them to get in front of me when it is safe only otherwise they could be waiting ages to get out.[/quote]
Someone did it when there was just them on the road..... how annoying.

Omg I saw a Range Rover that have blacked out front window, so you wouldn’t be able to make road contact with them. Side point but it should be illegal.

YANBU

DS failed his test recently when he was waved on by a “kind” driver at a junction. DS should have stayed his ground and waited for the courteous driver to move. He did what 99% of would do and drove on - straight back to the test centre - major fault

I live in an area with a lot of single track roads with passing places. Sometimes I'll pull in to a passing place on 'my' side of the road (ie the passing place is on the left of the single track) as I can see someone coming towards me.

I'll flash then to let them know to come on. Especially as during the summer it's almost guaranteed I know the road better than the other guy who might well be panicking tourist, driving a hire car with the steering wheel on the 'wrong' side.

The only other place I do it is a when I see someone coming out of a local junction which I know from experience - I avoid the bastard thing - is a bugger to get out from because the sight lines are so bad. I always let people out of there if I can.

@Wwydiywm I thought you were meant to continue your manoeuvre once you’d started it?

There’s a road near us where it’s always very helpful if I want to turn right into a side road and an oncoming driver stops or slows down and flashes me to go but at other times it makes me feel quite stressed because I’m a fairly cautious driver when it comes to pulling out and what they deem as enough time to pull out might not feel comfortable to me (meaning when cars are coming the other way too and they’ve decided it’s far enough away).

The thread is about roads where there isn’t any traffic.

No it isn't:

AIBU people flashing for you to pull out in front of them

one thing that annoys me is when you are pulling out of a side road and people flash you to pull out in front of them.

I've never encountered this where there is no traffic. Every couple of months I see someone do it in a stupid way (having to break hard to let them out, or it would have been quicker to get a move on and let the cars pass).

But someone does this to me most days and I do so as often. It's almost always in slow queues where it's easy to slow down and flash without interrupting the traffic, and doing so is the only way the other driver will get out of the side road any time soon.

Roads opperate on a set of shared assumptions so that other drivers can anticipate your actions. The only reason I can think why you would encounter this where it isn't necessary is that you may look like you are hesitating to pull out where there is a gap and the other driver wants to ensure you will do so in plenty of time, rather than at the last minute.

Nobody flashes in front of me nowadays but that’s probably for the best. I prefer a good book and pringles.

@Rainbowb

Nobody flashes in front of me nowadays but that’s probably for the best. I prefer a good book and pringles.

Oh me too Rainbowb

Oh God when I read these threads on MN I always wonder if I spend my life causing inadvertent offense.
I let people out in traffic, I take food when invited to someone’s house, I smile at random babies in the supermarket, I let my kids play in my garden and my dog wee in public...Hopefully I don’t encounter many MNers, because these things, and others I do that I can’t think of right now, all annoy people on here.

@Ginandplatonic

Oh God when I read these threads on MN I always wonder if I spend my life causing inadvertent offense. I let people out in traffic, I take food when invited to someone’s house, I smile at random babies in the supermarket, I let my kids play in my garden and my dog wee in public...Hopefully I don’t encounter many MNers, because these things, and others I do that I can’t think of right now, all annoy people on here.

There is a book you can read where you will get the rules of the road.

@ameliameerkat

If you do do this PLEASE BE CAREFUL!! I first aided car vs cyclist the other week as a car had flashed another car out and neither saw the cyclist and the cyclist came off worse (as they usually do.....). Thankfully the cyclist, although a bit bashed up, wasn't too bad. Unlike the cyclist vs lorry that was near me just the other day.... Which was very sadly fatal.

I witnessed something very similar a few weeks ago. A driver on the main road flashed someone at a junction who then nearly hit the cyclist travelling in front of the “flasher’s” car. The driver pulling out managed to stop within inches of the cyclist. I have no idea how the driver didn’t see the cyclist - they were passing the junction at the time. Too busy looking at the flasher.

I let people out if it's in my control, they are not crossing lanes. As a pedestrian I walk my son to the school bus stop which involves crossing a dual carriageway which isnt particularly busy but cars will bomb down it. We often get people stopping for us to cross and I do a frantic arm waving which is meant to convey thank you bit there are other cars around so please just drive on and we will cross in the gap.

@masterchef98

I let people out if it's in my control, they are not crossing lanes. As a pedestrian I walk my son to the school bus stop which involves crossing a dual carriageway which isnt particularly busy but cars will bomb down it. We often get people stopping for us to cross and I do a frantic arm waving which is meant to convey thank you bit there are other cars around so please just drive on and we will cross in the gap.

No crossing?

I pull out when it is clear, I also never flash at children to cross the road, people think they are being kind and helpful but so many times I've seen people flash at school kids to cross and then a motorbike comes along and almost knocks the child over. I tell my kids to never cross if flashed to only cross when THEY known it is safe to do so.

@Georgeoftheinternet well that was rude. I’ll leave you to your unpleasant thread.

Almost always when I see this it’s in heavy, slow moving traffic where people would be stuck for ages at the junction without someone letting them out. It’s not something I have an issue with in that situation, as long as drivers don’t get annoyed if I choose to decline the invitation.
I broke down at a junction once, had my hazard lights on, and because drivers coming from the left could only see my right indicator, I had loads of drivers trying to let me out onto the main road and then getting annoyed when i didn’t move the car 🤷‍♀️

I agree it’s generally unnecessary and potentially dangerous if the traffic is light enough for cars to be moving at or near the speed limit.
Although sometimes I’ve been kind of forced to let people out in that scenario. Either because I’m turning into a narrowish road and the car coming out of the road is situated so that there’s not room for me to turn into the road. Or because they’ve stuck the front of their car out into the road and I can’t get past them safely because of oncoming traffic. It really winds me up when people doing that second one pull out and give me a cheery wave. As if I’m letting them out because I want to, rather than because I don’t want to crash into the traffic on the other side of the road

Haha, it's normally we Brits who traditionally go to other countries and start complaining because they do things differently from us and 'deliberately' speak a different language! It would seem that we aren't the only ones. If you're originally from the USA or mainland Europe, I hope you follow our strange local custom of which side we drive on.

It's a kind thing to do, a courtesy - the motoring equivalent of holding a door open for the person behind instead of slamming it in their face. It's an invitation from another driver, who is saying "I will wait/manoeuvre/allow for you to do what you're intending - IF you wish to and you are confident that it is otherwise safe". Of course the courteous driver doesn't have the responsibility to check what every other driver is doing to ensure that your manoeuvre is safe - as the driver of your own vehicle, that's your job.

I personally wouldn't do it for a learner, as I know they are obviously still inexperienced in road etiquette and will be happier following the strict rules for the time being (or must if on their test) - the same as young children should always wait for the green man until they are old enough to be able to judge the safety of crossing on the red man if the road is clear.

What I really can’t stand is when I’m clearly turning right, and somebody flashes you on... disregarding the other lane of traffic that is STILL MOVING, AND NO, I DO NOT FANCY DEATH TODAY, THANKS.

So you have two lanes of traffic to cross in order to turn right. The person who is currently 'in control' of the first lane is allowing/inviting you to briefly block the first lane in front of them, so you then only need to look and wait for the second lane to become clear, before going on your way. Turning right on very busy roads, it's so frustrating when one of the two lanes is frequently clear to go, but never both at the same time. I really fail to see how that is them being UNkind.

If your so under confident driving in road with traffic that someone letting you go is seen as a negative then get off the road

Agree with this. If someone flashes you, you then need to assess whether it's safe to go or not, not get in a panic about it.

Don't worry @Ginandplatonic you're perfectly normal, MN is on a different planet don't forget.

I flash to let people out and I will go, if safe, if someone flashes to let me out.

The key point is ghat someone flashing doesn’t mean I stop checking it is safe to go.

It’s fine to not do it and not take the invitation. But I’m not going to stop when sometimes it is useful.