DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

[Gertr]

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

IMO it's great to be organised, but you also need to be clear to the kids when the 'deadline' is for their lists, and when no more shopping would be done.

So you should have said if there's anything you want for Christmas, you need to let us know before - whenever - as we're getting everything sorted out before lockdown.

I'd never just go ahead and let them think it's still an open discussion because he's probably been thinking hard (because you kept asking him) and now he's thought of something but it's too late.

You sound very caring OP, your DSC are lucky to have you .

I would buy one extra big thing off his list but if your sure he love them then keep what you've got ... Beyond 5/6 you can't buy ahead too far unfortunately , I have the money ready however I'm waiting until after my youngests birthday (17th of November) to start buying for Xmas I usually have a few bits by now but I tend to over buy that way and our children have extremely generous grandparents so if we get a couple extra presents we end up with a room full and that's not what we want ! X

In any case how depressing, these uptight posters who have “done and dusted” Christmas before it’s even started. I suspect strong correlation between ridiculously-early preparation and liking artificial trees with coordinated baubles. Christmas is supposed (for children) to be magical. Some people think Christmas is just another thing to be Marie Kondod to death

Absolutely, by not wanting to fight through the shops in December and ordering some toys in November, I have 'done and dusted' Christmas already. I'm onto Easter, but as I held the Easter bunny/the resurrection of Jesus Christ aloft it did not bring me any joy, so I've thrown him away.

OP you sound really caring and thoughtful. Don't worry too much about this. I would have a family meal when you drop in lots of subliminal advertising of what you've already bought the kids. Or things that are cheap to add in. Then sit down with carols playing, hot chocolate, and get him to write a list and help the little ones write theirs.

Then compare lists with reality and see if you can exchange anything.

In your situation I would do as some PPs have suggested: wait until you see his list, and if there's nothing on it that you have got already, return a couple of things and get some of his list (from near the top, as they will be in order of priority).

But, since things are tight for you, I would also say that if he has written a wish list that is full of expensive items, you will have to go down the route of explaining that finances are tighter and that you can't afford things over £x amount. He's old enough now to understand that things cost money, money doesn't grow on trees (or the nice lady in the bank doesn't just hand it out for free, as I thought as a little kid!) and your budget just doesn't stretch that far.

Nothing wrong with buying presents in early-ish, with people being paid monthly it means you're less likely to run short from the extra expense in November-December.

I think given his age you shopped far too early. Children often change their preferences in a couple of months.
Wait to see his list and see if you have anything that is on it. If not, see if you can return anything or exchange any of the items.

@IncyWincyTincy Please forgive me if I'm being thick but ... did you say you used to work for a giraffe?

P.S. by age 10 my kids were happy to 'research' ie Google for toy reviews. So if there was something very expensive/heavily marketed tat they hankered for, but I could show them a negative review they would change their minds. Which is helpful sometimes!

Do people realise that we're in the middle of a lockdown and some of us didn't want to have to fight our way through the crowds when and if we re-open non essential shops on December 2nd? I brought all mine in October when it became clear cases were rising. I am higher risk though. No way am I going shopping at all in December unless it's for food.

[quote Clevererthanyou]@IncyWincyTincy Please forgive me if I'm being thick but ... did you say you used to work for a giraffe? [/quote]
I took that to mean the poster worked for Toys R Us (Geoffrey the giraffe)

It did make me smile, fond memories

Wait and see what’s on his list - he may well ask for the things you and/or his DM have already got him!

It is early (from a child’s perspective) for asking about gifts. I’d see the list then see if you can afford to buy one thing off the list - maybe go halves with his DM or a grandparent to spread cost?

Please don’t leave him with nothing off his list, that’s a horrible disappointment for a child. It’s not his fault he’s changed his mind- that’s what children do.

I appreciate you’ve not got much spare cash, so maybe return one or two items you’ve already bought to buy something he likes?

@HeddaGarbled

Completely unreasonable to expect a child to decide what they wanted 2 months before Christmas!

Ha!

We didn't have lists. We learned to pick up when an adult was dropping hints and would pipe up as and when. We grew up skint, it took a long time for parents to find, and often refurbish, toys for us. Grandparents bought the new, fashionable stuff - we did write a list for them!

Kids these days only equalled by parents these days

Sorry OP, just seen your updates.

Don’t feel bad! You were trying to get ahead and save money, both of which are very sensible, and I’ve done the same myself (I can just about get away with it because DS is a toddler).

Just see what’s on his list and take it from there, but I’m sure it’ll all be fine.

In a normal year, November is the thinking about what you want month, and I buy in December.

This is not a normal year.
English and Welsh shops are currently shut.
Suppy lines have been significantly disrupted through the year. Items are often out of stock and patience may be required to get particular items back in.

For High Street shopping (and sometimes you need to browse to get inspiration for some people), a person in England could be unlucky enough that on Dec 1st, their family goes into self-isolation and they are the poor sap that gets 3 weeks of isolation as their family gradually gets the virus, leaving them with a couple of days clear to leave the house for loose ends.

Awaits the threads of people having shopping issues in December and the holier than thou types berate them for not doing it sooner and don't you know there's a global pandemic

@Clevererthanyou and @Gertr - yes good ole Geoffers!

Never forget the time someone reported the advert claiming we had to prove we actually had millions of toys all under one roof

Are lists really a thing?
As a kid we would take great joy in circling things wildly in catalogues but we pretty much never got the stuff we circled

My kids have never even done lists, my teen has talked about if for the last year or so but never actually done it.

Some years theres been a 'must have' gift (we have only had it twice in 13 years) but thats a case where the child obsessively talks about wanting it for months not just a spur of the moment write down or circle crap you have seen/heard but dont really care about.

I was never disappointed at xmas, the gifts I got where always better than the things I had circled - suprises I didnt even know existed which added to the great magic.

@NeverAMillionMilesAway

Do people realise that we're in the middle of a lockdown and some of us didn't want to have to fight our way through the crowds when and if we re-open non essential shops on December 2nd? I brought all mine in October when it became clear cases were rising. I am higher risk though. No way am I going shopping at all in December unless it's for food.

I get pretty much all my Christmas shopping online anyway, nothing different this year. I can't imagine my kids having a clue about presents in October, and frankly I don't want them to. Far too much emphasis on what is just a day.

There's a holiday in October, then there's Halloween, there are birthdays, parties (less this year but still), days out, bonfire nights, so many things kids can look forward to. I like Christmas shopping in November (so things have time to turn up), and Christmas theme activities in December. That's more than enough!

I wouldn’t do a thing other than maybe pick up a couple of small things on his list in addition.
Maybe I’m old, but Christmas never used to be so strict on getting this or doing that otherwise the children will be scared for life.

Oh the days are long gone when kids got what they were given. I would not have dreamed of telling my parents what I wanted or expected. No wonder kids are so selfish these days when they get everything they want. And what about the surprise element? Most parents should know their children well enough to know what they would like.
Surely we should be teaching kids that it is better to give than receive and one would hope they are encouraged to save pocket money to buy small gifts for parents and siblings.

when people say you cant buy before december because you wont know what they like - it such a bizaare excuse people who leave stuff until the last minute love to make but its simply not true.

A bookworm wont suddenly become a football fanatic or a gamer wont suddenly become an outdoor adventurer etc... and even if they are growing and switching it takes time (say an adventerous child is getting into football everything doesnt switch instantly the new hobby takes time to grow and permiate, if you rush out and buy stuff at the first mention you'll end up with spur of the moment tat from a fad that lasted 10 minutes because the other kids where doing it) you should know your children well enough to know things they will like in 2+ months time.

I have already bought my kids' presents. I told my daughter this yesterday when she came up with a new idea. I suggested she added it to her birthday list. She was ok with that.

@Lollee

Oh the days are long gone when kids got what they were given. I would not have dreamed of telling my parents what I wanted or expected. No wonder kids are so selfish these days when they get everything they want. And what about the surprise element? Most parents should know their children well enough to know what they would like. Surely we should be teaching kids that it is better to give than receive and one would hope they are encouraged to save pocket money to buy small gifts for parents and siblings.

It's an ideas list or wish list, not a set of demands.

My Dc are adults now and still never know what they want and would struggle to put things down anyway as kids as they didn't want to be greedy or put things that were too expensive.

But I'd rather know if they were secretly hankering over a skateboard or a particular lego set rather than me buying a different lego set and a scooter.

As I said before, I was pleased when my DS said that santa always knw exactly what he's like even if her didn't or even knew that some things existed.

I think they tend to want things that a friend or someone cool has or what they've see advertised, they rarely know about all things.

@Lollee

Oh the days are long gone when kids got what they were given. I would not have dreamed of telling my parents what I wanted or expected. No wonder kids are so selfish these days when they get everything they want. And what about the surprise element? Most parents should know their children well enough to know what they would like. Surely we should be teaching kids that it is better to give than receive and one would hope they are encouraged to save pocket money to buy small gifts for parents and siblings.

surely there's a healthy balance

They can have some things they asked for, some surprises.
How sad if you didn't get to make a list and tell your parents what you wanted. It's making you a bit bitter, not working out that well is it.

I'm sure you've got him things he'll love.

Wait and see the list, there might be some crossover, you can at least see if they are all on a theme eg science, football, music etc and if you're any where close with what you've already bought.

Some of my DC's favourite presents have been things they've not asked for, if you hit that sweet spot of "something they didn't know they wanted... Until now" it's even more special than them getting what they expected.

My DC definitely don't get everything on their list, I'm pretty sure my older DC will ask for a PS4 and it's not happening!!