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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

324 replies

Gertr · 05/11/2020 23:48

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

OP posts:
81Byerley · 06/11/2020 10:31

My children used to write theirs on Christmas Eve, and they didn't often get what they asked for! It didn't matter though, they were pleased with what they got. If he is disappointed and says so, then suggest he saves for the things he wants. In my view, presents should be a surprise.

dottiedodah · 06/11/2020 10:32

Amazon(where Santa sometimes sends his Elves to!) will accept returns up to 1st February according to their website.I have bought some gifts already but not all yet .M and S too and many more shops will happily do exchanges I would think.

Nomorepies · 06/11/2020 10:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

jessstan1 · 06/11/2020 10:33

At the age of ten, most children are asked by parents what they want for Christmas and usually know in advance of being asked. Other people will buy them things but the 'big' ones come from Mum and Dad and they like to know they will (probably) be getting what they want, presuming M&D can afford it.

BeTheHokeyMan · 06/11/2020 10:35

Most people I know have their santa shopping done already as many are worried due to lockdown/shop closures/items being out of stock/ post delays. I usually wouldn't start until mid November but have most presents sorted now. My smallest won't change her mind she has been asking for the same things for weeks now ! As for the older ones they haven't asked for anything in particular so will be happy with whatever they get

frazzledasarock · 06/11/2020 10:36

Have you seen the list yet? You might have got him what he wants anyway.

Wait and see what’s on the list see if you can swap out a few gifts if possible. He’ll be thrilled with what he gets anyway I’m sure. I buy what I want for my lot and they’re always delighted, you’ll know your dc he’ll be fine.

NeverAMillionMilesAway · 06/11/2020 10:37

@mrsrat

I'm sorry but I cannot think of any reason unless it's job related that you would have your Xmas presents bought and wrapped by 1st November Understand for older family members but children it's just bizarre
He's 10 and old enough to be aware, so tell him you had to buy some presents early because of the shops closing for lockdown, but that you will try to get him what you can from his list if possible (whether through returns, additional gifts, friends and family asking for ideas etc).
NeverAMillionMilesAway · 06/11/2020 10:38

Oops, not sure why that quoted!

Gertr · 06/11/2020 10:40

Thank you for the replies

I too think some people have been unnecessarily harsh, I'm far from a smug shopper.

The main reason we have bought presents early is because I'm pretty sure I won't have an income from next month so wanted to buy whilst i had money.

I'm a carer for my disabled DS and after being out of work for two years I took on a role which worked for my family but required me to register as self employed, as such I have no employment protection, and it's not looking as though I'm going to be needed again before Christmas / if they decide to keep me on at all.

This is the first year DSS has mentioned anything about a Christmas list. In previous years he has been telling us what he wants for Christmas by mid year, believe it or not!

There was also the worry about whether shops would indeed be open in December, or whether we would be able to get anything online with everything selling out as people frantically try to salvage a decent Christmas in the circumstances of the pandemic.

DH isn't flapping about it as much as I am, he said not to worry and we will see what we can do.

DSS has long since told his mum what he wanted for Christmas (his main present) so she has been able to buy that early as she knew for certain he wanted it, but he had no idea what to ask for when it came to us - and we did ask a handful of times before buying anything.

My biggest worry now is him presenting us with a list of expensive things, expecting all of them, and then being sad when they don't materialise Sad

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 06/11/2020 10:44

OP - Remove two gifts from your pile and replace with things from his list. Rewrap the two gifts for his next birthday. You are still really ahead! :-)

NoSquirrels · 06/11/2020 10:45

Get your DH to tell him not to put loads of expensive things on his list, then! By 10, he knows what things cost and he’s old enough to understand money is tight this year particularly.

Lowkeevslucille · 06/11/2020 10:46

OP, you really need to see his list!

NeverAMillionMilesAway · 06/11/2020 10:47

My biggest worry now is him presenting us with a list of expensive things, expecting all of them, and then being sad when they don't materialise

In the nicest way possible, your DSS will just have to learn to live with his sadness in that case. He is old enough to know that he can't have everything he wants on demand.

WaxOnFeckOff · 06/11/2020 10:50

I think all you can do now is wait for the list (if it materialises) and then take it from there.

Until you have it there isn't a lot you can do.

This could be him trying to test the existence of Santa by presenting a list that he knows you can't afford. I guess it depends on how you set up Santa in the first place e.g. parents contribute or whatever.

feelingverylazytoday · 06/11/2020 10:51

@joystir59

What an awful world where children write lists of what they want Santa to bring and parents feel obliged to buy what's on the list?
Yeah, they should just go ahead and buy what they think the kid will want, instead of actually asking them. My parents were like that, and it was very dusappointing at times. I hardly ever got the things I really wanted.
ParadeOfRemotes · 06/11/2020 10:54

Try not to worry. If I were you I'd

  • 'help' him write the list and gently suggest some things you already have. If he is an adamant 'no' on them then it will give you a clue
  • return a few bits if you can
  • keep a few things for his birthday maybe and replace with items from the list if possible
  • remind him he cant get everything he asks for but if there's something he is desperate for maybe you could help him start saving towards buying it for himself

That's what I'd do anyway.

Also, I've done 90% of my shopping already smug Wink

CovidClara · 06/11/2020 10:57

You sound lovely

It is great hen they get to 10 and no longer believe, you can be honest about how much things cost, might get 1 from the list and then surprises etc

Beamur · 06/11/2020 11:02

@BestZebbie

OP - Remove two gifts from your pile and replace with things from his list. Rewrap the two gifts for his next birthday. You are still really ahead! :-)
This is what I was going to say! You are so ahead of the game then Wink There are people who buy and wrap their presents by September. I usually try and finish mine this month to budget, as DH is a last minute (generous)shopper and will burn through our spare money in December!
Marshyellow · 06/11/2020 11:04

Actually a good shout about saving some for his birthday!

mylittleyumyum · 06/11/2020 11:08

@ittooshallpass

I think you're being given a really hard time OP. I never wrote a Christmas list and my DD never has done either! Didn't know it was a thing. You have spent time and money on thoughtful presents, I'm sure DSC will be happy with what he gets.

Surely the fun is in getting surprises and things you don't know about?

I agree.

I like to think I know my daughters well enough to get them gifts that will surprise and delight them. I keep a mental note of things they have mentioned or are saving for. They offer hints and tips, and as they've got older I sometimes get not-so-subtle links sent to me as early as October.

There has been one or two occasions where the younger one covets something her sister has opened - that's what any money she receives from other relatives can go towards.

I used to circle most of the toys in the Grattan catalogue (remember that?!) and I have no memories of ever being disappointed at Christmas.

PurpleMustang · 06/11/2020 11:10

@ParadeOfRemotes post is great. I have been known to 'help' when they are writing the lists. I will take note of what they say they like while going through the toy catalogues and also 'steer' them towards things to see if they do like something. You could do this as try to get a couple of things already bought on the list. Or put a couple aside for his birthday and buy a couple he does pick

Clevererthanyou · 06/11/2020 11:11

@Halliehallie9828, I couldn't afford to buy the things in December for full price that I manage to budget for throughout the year. I have a notepad of the costs of items I've bought and the discounts so I can keep track of expenditure. I'm happy to show you a photograph of the costs of things back in January vs now.
I managed to buy a Leapfrog Rockit for £25 less than the price it is now, I couldn't pay the price it is going for now. It isn't always as simple as saving cash throughout the year as prices fluctuate :)

Noitjustwontdo · 06/11/2020 11:12

I suspect strong correlation between ridiculously-early preparation and liking artificial trees with coordinated baubles

Accurate description of my Mother. Her baubles match her living room decor...

Coldwinterahead1 · 06/11/2020 11:13

We don't do lists! I always know my DS big present as he usually hints all year. The ready are surprises

Ihaveyourback · 06/11/2020 11:16

I am already christmas ready and always have a real tree, I am not sure what the connection is unless you shop early and also put up your tree on the 5th of November, or earlier Grin
I do however like a tasteful tree :)