DSS has announced a Christmas list after we've already finished shopping. AIBU

[Gertr]

To not spend a load of money on more presents - even though that will mean he probably won't have anything from his list?

After him saying he didn't know what he wanted for Christmas apart from one small thing we used our initiative and bought things we were sure he would love.

His mum has told us what she has got him and he's going to be thrilled with that. He he has some nice gifts.

All of the Christmas shopping is finished now, presents wrapped and put away.

We had the DSC today and DSS (10) said he's going to write a list for what he wants for Christmas...

WWYD? We're not flush.

Could you seed the ideas of the things you’ve bought for him so he adds them to the list? This worked when my DC wrote their letters recently. I said things like, “Oh, remember you saw that x that you really wanted, don’t forget to ask for that.” Knowing full well that they were already bought and wrapped.

Let him do his list, you may be surprised and it might be what you have already got him. Ds knows a list is just ideas on what he would like and he will get get some things from the list but not all. He also knows he gets presents not from his list which he usually loves too.
As for being a smug shopper well I will join you. I have finished Christmas shopping for ds too. I wanted to make sure he was sorted for Christmas. With everything going on this year I figured the sooner I was sorted the better. I will sort everyone else out near the time.

YABU OP return what you brought. Should have waited for the list.

He didn't do a list last year, or the several years before that.

He has obviously been inspired to do one now.. but it isn't a theme.

If he always made lists then I would have waited for one.

As I said, we asked him many times what he wanted and for ideas.

It's just bad luck that now we have bought things, he wants to write a list.

It’s not bad luck. You return the gifts you guessed at and buy him what he wants.

I just wanted to say to those saying 10yr olds know that Santa isn't real, that my neurotypical, eldest daughter is year 7 and still believes - and guess what? I'm a secondary school teacher and that's TOTALLY normal.

As for a list potentially being too expensive, I let my daughter choose one main present and everything else has to be under a certain price. She also never gets EVERYTHING on her list but always gets something. Father Christmas brings presents to every child so he can't afford expensive presents and neither can I. Plus greed isn't a good trait so she also tries to keep her list short so that shes more likely to get what she REALLY wants.

I'm jealous you're that organised but I would wait a couple of weeks before deciding whether to return presents. See whats on the list first and see if he starts mentioning the stuff on the list randomly as thats a good sign they realllyyy want it.

Forgot the list and people telling you off for shopping too early.

You said you've put a lot of thought into what to get him;I'm sure he'll love whatever you've got him.

I am so shocked at this thread. Gifts are gifts. Not want lists! I’m sure you bought him lovely things that you know he will like so stick with it. Any family members needing inspiration give them the list. This vile idea that kids get what they want off a list is horrifying, let’s make our children even more entitled than they are! I know I’m a minority of almost one here, but really? Why the hell should you do anything but give him the gifts. I do think you are insane for having finished shopping so early, but that might just be jealousy on my part!

This vile idea that kids get what they want off a list is horrifying, let’s make our children even more entitled than they are!

by giving them stuff they either don't want or already have, but not something they would actually enjoy?

The spirit of Christmas and the whole point of gifts seem to have totally deserted some people on here.

Are you also refusing to buy anything from wedding lists and chose your own "tasteful" gifts?

Seriously, you think the spirit of Christmas is about buying kids gifts off a list!!!!!?????

I’m assuming OP and her partner know the child well enough to buy gifts he would like.

‘This vile idea that kids get what they want off a list is horrifying, let’s make our children even more entitled than they are!’

ThIs must be a joke. Surely kids a have been writing letters to Santa for decades????

Jellyrunner did you not write a Christmas list as a child? Post it to Santa and hope you would get a few things you ask for?

Your post made me so sad, you seem angry at the world.

@Jellyrunner

Seriously, you think the spirit of Christmas is about buying kids gifts off a list!!!!!?????

I’m assuming OP and her partner know the child well enough to buy gifts he would like.

I would have thought the spirit of Christmas was to make people happy...

where do you come from that you just discovered the concept of a Christmas List?

You sound so bitter and angry. Why is that?

I understand the point of a list, but it is not the be all and end all. I had a very happy childhood, with awesome Christmas’, with very generous presents from my parents ( Father Christmas) I just don’t understand whey the OP should return well though out gifts. A child does not need all their ‘ wants’ to make them happy. I am a very happy person, and I had a great childhood: I just don’t believe in spoiling people. Gifts are giftsZ and yes I do choose off wedding gift lists!

The spirit of Christmas is not to make people happy by giving them all their ‘wants’ it is to be together as friends/family. It is to think about people and show you have thought about them. It is not about ordering online a list of gifts they have asked for. What kind of bloody spirit is that? It’s dead, it is awful. It has no emotion or real care.

I think just stick with what you got. It sounds like you out in a lot of thought and I’m sure he’ll love it.

I’m not massively into the commercial consumerism aspect of Christmas. Not really what Christmas is about in my opinion. Though I understand that to kids it’s all about the presents, because I remember it and being sooooo excited.

Never made a list myself, part of the magic of Christmas for me as a kid was the surprise, I think it’s boring when you know exactly what you’re getting.

Jellyrunner said it way better than me. I basically agree with what they said!

A child does not need all their ‘ wants’ to make them happy.

who said they did?
Do you know how many little girls have asked for a real unicorn for Christmas?

What many of us have said, repeatedly, is that the OP should see the list first and go from there. I always mix surprises and wishes. It's just bizarre to completely disregard what a child wants.

When else are they supposed to get their dream toy? Do you expect a primary school child to get a job and buy it himself?

It is not about ordering online a list of gifts they have asked for. What kind of bloody spirit is that? It’s dead, it is awful. It has no emotion or real care.

you do realise a gift is not more meaningful because you have decided to trek to the shops in the pouring rain and fight the crowds, don't you

Ordering online what you know will make little ones happy, feet in your slippers whilst you enjoy a glass of wine is the way to do it. You'd probably achieve a much better result by taking time to browse and chose well, as opposed to become angry, frustrated tired and fed up and end up grabbing the wrong thing...

@Jellyrunner

I understand the point of a list, but it is not the be all and end all. I had a very happy childhood, with awesome Christmas’, with very generous presents from my parents ( Father Christmas) I just don’t understand whey the OP should return well though out gifts. A child does not need all their ‘ wants’ to make them happy. I am a very happy person, and I had a great childhood: I just don’t believe in spoiling people. Gifts are giftsZ and yes I do choose off wedding gift lists!

The spirit of Christmas is not to make people happy by giving them all their ‘wants’ it is to be together as friends/family. It is to think about people and show you have thought about them. It is not about ordering online a list of gifts they have asked for. What kind of bloody spirit is that? It’s dead, it is awful. It has no emotion or real care.

But no one is saying that. They are saying if there is something a child really really wants for Christmas, and puts it on their Christmas list, and if you can afford it, why would you be so stubborn as to say well I have already done my shopping so tough, when you can return some things and make a Christmas wish come true?

But I think you understand that, but are being deliberately obtuse.

I haven’t been accused of being obtuse before. What I am saying is why should OP change her well thought out gifts? If others want to buy them then fine. But they are gifts. She shouldn’t have to return gifts and buy new.

My biggest worry now is him presenting us with a list of expensive things, expecting all of them, and then being sad when they don't materialise.

Well, if he has unrealistic expectations, that would've been a problem even if you hadn't already shopped for him. Kids have to learn that they can't ask for anything and really expect to get it.

Maybe he's only asking for reasonable things. In that case, I'd try to make sure he gets at least one or two things from his list, but even if you can't exchange the things you've already bought, I'm sure he'll be fine. You've chosen things you think he'll enjoy.

Sometimes the best gifts are things you would never have thought of or expected. At least they'll be a surprise!

@Jellyrunner

I haven’t been accused of being obtuse before. What I am saying is why should OP change her well thought out gifts? If others want to buy them then fine. But they are gifts. She shouldn’t have to return gifts and buy new.

maybe because finishing and wrapping all the shopping when it's barely November is a tad premature for a start.

Maybe because the "well thought out gifts" are not that well thought out?

And maybe, just maybe, it would be useful to see the actual list to decide what the best way forward might be?

If the gifts have been chosen well they will be on the list anyway. If not, then there is time to exchange. A gift should be something the person wants, it’s not about the giver.

Honestly who wants to get up on Christmas morning and to a child who didn't get a single thing they asked for.

I know many parents do struggle to get stuff from the kids lists, either because of the impossible nature of what's been asked for or the cost involved.

But if you were in a position where you could avoid that level of disappointment why on earth would you not?

Op set the ground rules, max number of items, max of one over £50. See what you can return, make his list work.

I shop early too, but my kids are young enough to be happy with anything - no specific things in mind. I don’t think you being organised is a bad thing. Could you maybe influence him slightly? Suggest things you know you got him?