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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm not a very nice person

450 replies

Everly82 · 05/11/2020 22:27

Ok, that's not strictly true. I'm very friendly and polite, treat people equally, hold doors and smile at strangers. But...I'm often pleased when things go wrong for others (not major things like illness, but if they were to get a house that I would want to live in and it fell through, for example). My friend recently failed her driving test and I wasn't unhappy for her because I can't drive and she has made snide comments before. Next door's house is a tip which pleases me because it makes me feel better about my own and weirdly superior. My high school bully is now obese. Very satisfying.

Am I an arsehole? The reality is, I'm miserable and not where I want to be in life. Is this jealousy? I'm starting to dislike myself.

OP posts:
Temporary1234 · 06/11/2020 21:24

MiniTheMinx

I agree. It’s the concept of revelling at misfortunes of friends that I think is more common amongst women folk though.

Perhaps because we have been socialised to remain friends with people we don’t feel close to.. and so, we can give an impression that we care about someone when we don’t actually :S.

Things are changing on that front and women are finding it easier now to cut on friendships and relationships that they don’t feel enriched their lives.

Personally, I get baffled by people who are snide with me or one-up me and all that. They come across as incredibly weak. Because to me, if I deep down felt unhappy about someone’s company... I would simply not spend time with them..

There were moments when I felt like one of my close friends was flaunting something about her life which she knew I was struggling with massively.. so I started to have thoughts going down the line of “how is her life so easy and mine not, it can’t be this perfect surely?”

And then I realised these thoughts have no place in a friendship, so the problem was either me or the friendship. And I realised that it WAS the friendship and the way she had no empathy towards my struggles and I decided I owe it to myself and to her and everyone involved to step back..

And so I did.

I would hate to live with myself harbouring resentment for someone who beleived I care for them.. and I would hate to live with myself if I become lacking in empathy because I let those insensitive friends rub their attitudes on me..

I prefer to be a product of my own making. And not a reaction to what’s around me.

Because I spent so very long working on becoming the person I am.. I won’t let someone else change the direction of my thoughts because of their carelessness or maliciousness I don’t care which one it is because they’re not my concern!

emilybrontescorsett · 06/11/2020 21:35

I can relate to this with a horrible girl at school she was never a friend though. She was jealous of me because a boy she liked asked me out. She hit me so hard because he asked me out that she blacked both my eyes. I was terrified of her after that.
Years later I read in the local paper that her boyfriend had been arrested for threatening to shoot her and her mother. I felt nothing but pleasure as it was absolutely what the nasty piece of work deserved.

standupsitdownturnaround · 07/11/2020 07:29

@vanillandhoney

I find it quite ironic that the most judgemental sounding posts on this thread have come from those who claim never to have nasty thoughts about anyone, ever.

Having nasty thoughts is one thing, being judgemental and rude to people who have opened up in good faith is quite another and I know which quality I'd prefer in a friend.

Completely agree with you @vanillandhoney .
Dongdingdong · 07/11/2020 08:23

There are some very unhappy people on this thread who are attempting to justify themselves and drag everyone else down to their miserable level, by claiming their nasty feelings towards others are the norm. Well guess what, they’re not - you’re just horrible people!

Dongdingdong · 07/11/2020 08:24

I do pity you all though - you must lead very bitter and depressing lives if you’re going round wishing ill on others.

Suzi888 · 07/11/2020 08:36

This reply has been deleted

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IFwithloadsofchocolate · 07/11/2020 10:06

you’re just horrible people!

I don't think you have the moral high ground here.

echt · 07/11/2020 10:22

There are some very unhappy people on this thread who are attempting to justify themselves and drag everyone else down to their miserable level, by claiming their nasty feelings towards others are the norm. Well guess what, they’re not - you’re just horrible people

Then you're no better yourself, as you have not only thought badly of others ( I'm being charitable here in assuming you have thought this one out) but gone to to the trouble of writing it and telling everyone.

ANoTail · 07/11/2020 12:18

@Dongdingdong

There are some very unhappy people on this thread who are attempting to justify themselves and drag everyone else down to their miserable level, by claiming their nasty feelings towards others are the norm. Well guess what, they’re not - you’re just horrible people!
Whereas you sound lovely.
SugarCoatIt · 07/11/2020 12:24

I don't really get this, but I'm certainly not going no to judge you for it, just totally unrelatable.

I have a friend who can be very jealous of others, and I've never related to that either...

bloodyhairy · 07/11/2020 13:54

Och, go easy on yourself OP. A bit of Schadenfreude is part of the human condition. It's when you start trying to manoeuvre situations against others, that you really have to worry!

Leannethom85 · 07/11/2020 14:21

If somebody has done something to us that has upset us in the past then even though it's wrong to punch the air when something doesn't go their way it can be satisfying. As long as we do it with our thoughts rather than our mouths then it's all good.

HalloweenIsEveryday · 07/11/2020 16:58

Oh a lot of people are like this. Yes you get some saints who don't have an envious bone in our body, but I think most of us find it hard to be happy for people unless whatever they've got/achieved is something we already have or don't care that much about.

For example, my sister passes her driving test. I am happy for her because I can drive and have a car so why wouldn't I be?

But on the other hand, my other sister manages to land a well paid job with flexibility, great benefits and a high salary for not much work. I find it hard to be happy for her because I don't have those things myself.

Maybe I'm a horrible person too?

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 07/11/2020 17:24

But on the other hand, my other sister manages to land a well paid job with flexibility, great benefits and a high salary for not much work. I find it hard to be happy for her because I don't have those things myself.

See, I would still be happy for this sister. Her getting that job doesn't reduce your chances in any way.

Temporary1234 · 07/11/2020 17:45

HalloweenIsEveryday

Maybe you might not enjoy the gruelling detail if your sisters easy peasy cash while you are struggling to earn. I mean I do think ignorance is something important for relationships to prosper..

But just knowing the generic fact that your sister landed a good job for her to be fair I think I would be happier for her

This thread is making me develop social anxiety for real. Clearly I didn’t understand humans much before..

I really prefer if someone feels that way towards me to become distant until they can be happy for my success and be upset for my downfalls

I do think this thread is depressing

JinpingShuffle · 07/11/2020 19:22

@Temporary1234

HalloweenIsEveryday

Maybe you might not enjoy the gruelling detail if your sisters easy peasy cash while you are struggling to earn. I mean I do think ignorance is something important for relationships to prosper..

But just knowing the generic fact that your sister landed a good job for her to be fair I think I would be happier for her

This thread is making me develop social anxiety for real. Clearly I didn’t understand humans much before..

I really prefer if someone feels that way towards me to become distant until they can be happy for my success and be upset for my downfalls

I do think this thread is depressing

I agree. I feel much like @Bluntness100. Abusive childhood has made me rather emotionally detached. I am pleased for friends and family, acquaintances or even strangers for their good fortune to a degree roughly equivalent to their closeness to me. And sad for their misfortunes. I actually feel for the misfortunes of people close to me very acutely, maybe too much.

Anybody who is unpleasant I simply cut out of my life and mind. I don't have the energy to care one way or the other about their lives. As I said early in the thread, it seems very bitter to me to be wishing misfortune on people. I can understand it when someone has been abusive (although it's still not healthy) but to wish ill on a friend or family member who hasn't wrong you is just jealous and spiteful and I am surprised how many people think these thoughts are normal. If I had such thoughts I'd be doing a lot of self-reflection and seeking therapy to work through where they were coming from.

tempnamechange98765 · 07/11/2020 20:17

I am like this OP. I do think I can be a horrible person inside (and behind people's backs to my DH sometimes), and I think it definitely stems from insecurity, as I am overall happy with my life, but I am a constant "grass is always greener" person.

When a close friend had a mc recently I was devastated on her behalf, but the same friend is in a much lower paid job than I despite being
Oxbridge graduate and quite snobby about how well qualified she is - so that fact makes me quite happy! I think I have a habit to see certain people as "competition" and so I do like it when things go better for me.

If a friend has had a tough time though, I am always so happy on their behalf if something goes well, as if in my mind they "deserve" it.

I don't think I'm a very nice person deep down.

Buddytheelf85 · 07/11/2020 20:27

I used to be a lot more like this than I am now.

That’s mainly because I used to be a lot less happy. It’s so much easier to be happy for others when you’re fundamentally fairly happy yourself.

It’s also because a bit of life experience taught me that you just don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives. Someone might buy an amazing house but be tearing their hair out with their relationship, or their child’s behaviour at school - or whatever. That realisation really helped me not to be jealous of others.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 07/11/2020 20:30

I'm sure I've read this post before a long time ago!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 07/11/2020 20:39

Schadenfreude. What's new?

The essence of society is concealing this shit in public.

Al1langdownthecleghole · 08/11/2020 12:52

Heard of a guy this week who caught coronavirus, then lost his job and his home.

I Was delighted that he lost the election.

Thank you Twitter.

CaraDuneRedux · 08/11/2020 13:02

@Al1langdownthecleghole

Heard of a guy this week who caught coronavirus, then lost his job and his home.

I Was delighted that he lost the election.

Thank you Twitter.

GrinGrinGrin
JinpingShuffle · 09/11/2020 01:26

"The hallmark of a personality disorder is that what is thought, said and done are not alligned. This false mode of living can only be remedied (if at all) by deep personal reflection and a will to bring about a fundamental awakening of the internal life."

FedUpHairyMclary · 09/11/2020 01:37

I admit I pissed myself laughing when DH's ex wife, who left him and the kids for another man when one of them was a baby, and married him 10 years later only after hearing that DH and I were engaged, was left by her DH, who firstly announced he was gay, and then that he was a woman called Charlene. I know she was humiliated (my DH, her and Charlene all worked together so everyone knew the history) but I couldn't summon up much sympathy after how she had treated DH in the past. I know that makes me a cow but I'll own it.

Anordinarymum · 09/11/2020 01:44

The truth is though that you never really know what is going on in other people's lives, and those who appear to be successful at everything are probably not.

I try not to be horrible but it's a human trait. It's only when you voice your ill feelings out loud that you appear horrible to others, so best keep your opinions to yourself :)

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