MiniTheMinx
I agree. It’s the concept of revelling at misfortunes of friends that I think is more common amongst women folk though.
Perhaps because we have been socialised to remain friends with people we don’t feel close to.. and so, we can give an impression that we care about someone when we don’t actually :S.
Things are changing on that front and women are finding it easier now to cut on friendships and relationships that they don’t feel enriched their lives.
Personally, I get baffled by people who are snide with me or one-up me and all that. They come across as incredibly weak. Because to me, if I deep down felt unhappy about someone’s company... I would simply not spend time with them..
There were moments when I felt like one of my close friends was flaunting something about her life which she knew I was struggling with massively.. so I started to have thoughts going down the line of “how is her life so easy and mine not, it can’t be this perfect surely?”
And then I realised these thoughts have no place in a friendship, so the problem was either me or the friendship. And I realised that it WAS the friendship and the way she had no empathy towards my struggles and I decided I owe it to myself and to her and everyone involved to step back..
And so I did.
I would hate to live with myself harbouring resentment for someone who beleived I care for them.. and I would hate to live with myself if I become lacking in empathy because I let those insensitive friends rub their attitudes on me..
I prefer to be a product of my own making. And not a reaction to what’s around me.
Because I spent so very long working on becoming the person I am.. I won’t let someone else change the direction of my thoughts because of their carelessness or maliciousness I don’t care which one it is because they’re not my concern!