To not really want other people (even family) to look after my baby.......

[berrybliss]

My MIL has become very active in my pregnancy as i don't know my mother.
She has been very supportive, brought loads of things for the baby (I did not ask her too) I feel very close to her and really do apreciate her.

But Its all getting a bit too much. She keeps saying how much she's looking forward to having the baby at her house, looking after it etc. For instance babysitting on New years eve- My baby will only be 6 weeks old and I don't even want to go out!

This is my first baby and even though its not born yet I feel very attached to him 'he's my baby'
I'm planning to breastfeed so feel that i will want to be with him as much as possible.

I don't like the idea of leaving him over night with anyone, even my MIL. Especially when he's so young.

Am i being over the top or is it normal to have slightly possesive feelings....

Should I tell her now that i wont be leaving him with other people, or just wait till the time comes?

Haven't read thread, but I felt just the same and did not leave ds with anyone until he was a lot older. I am not an over protective mother and ds has plenty of independence and freedom now he is older, plus is extremely confident and sociable, so don't listen to any crap about smothering your baby etc.

IMO the right time to leave your child with someone else is when they are comfortable to be left and when YOU FEEL THE NEED OF A BREAK. Not so your MIL can play dollies with a real life baby.

Oh one more thought - you MAY feel differently when the baby is here, so I wouldn't say anything yet. When the time comes, you can politely say "I am happiest staying in with my baby, thank you, I don't feel I want to leave him yet." You may one day be glad of her offer so I would not turn her down yet!

You're the mummy. When you feel ok with it its ok, until then you must not feel obliged to do what others expect / desire with regards your child.

I had a rather grabby MIL when my DS1 was born. I had to ask her to give us some space to get to know him and get some sleep - she was literally shouting down the phone at me about when she could next visit (wanted to do so every week) and it was just too tiring to have her as she wasn't actually helpful, always late and expecting to be waited on.

I very politely asked her to "give us time" and she had no choice but to do so.

Your MIL sounds lovely in comparison and I expect will behave better and have more normal expectations and understanding of your feelings.

i haven;t read all the threads, but i fobbed my two off at the earliest opportunity! (twins) - they were in hosp for 8 weeks and when they had been home for 3 weeks my MIL had them over night (listens for sharp intake of breath), so me and DH could go out and stop in a hotel. Was bliss! I bottle fed though so a little easier.

They are nearly 3 now and have stopped at Nannys for weekends at least once a month with and without me. My family all live far away, so they couldn't just come for a few hours babysit then go home, it was always a better option to take them down settle them in and I would come home.

Because they have done it from such an early age they will sleep anywhere without a fuss and people offer to have them all the time cos they are so good.

But thats just me!

I know I am not the norm, But I couldn't wait for my mum to look after ds. Admitedly it was only so that I could devote some time to dh. We went out for a meal and couldn't wait to get back to ds - both of us - ha ha.
But still, YANBU and your feelings are totally normal.

My lot are 10,8 and 6 and I am still manically possessive!!!