so we are now arresting people NOW Shocking

[Meadow1203]

I thought this was wind up but sadly it is true. A 73 year old retired nurse has been arrested and put in handcuffs because she took her own mother out of a care home. She has not had proper contact for 9 months and her poor 97 year old mum was ailing, she wanted to bring her home to care for her. Wow just wow how have we come to this.

You can't just turn up to a care home, shove a care worker and take your relative without agreement.

BUT, I do agree that it's just frankly inhumane what has happened in care homes. My Nan has not seen any member of her family since March. Her mental state has rapidly deteriorated. It's utterly destroying to think she could die without having seen her family. If she got COVID I doubt she would take up an icu bed anyway as they would probably say she isn't 'clinically appropriate' for one. I don't pretend to know the answer, but it's an utterly shit and heartbreaking situation that care home residents and their families are in, and it's no wonder people get desperate and let emotions cloud their judgement.

@Sirzy

And let’s not forget the nature of the beast is that by the time they need full time nursing care the resident doesn’t know if the person visiting is their daughter or a stranger. A good care home will be able to make sure the residents get the hugs and things hey need but safely so

Horrible. The person with dementia may not fully understand who is hugging them but the daughter does.

@Sirzy

And let’s not forget the nature of the beast is that by the time they need full time nursing care the resident doesn’t know if the person visiting is their daughter or a stranger. A good care home will be able to make sure the residents get the hugs and things hey need but safely so

WTF?

I apologise for that post, it didn’t come out as I intended it too.

I fully sympathise with all the families in this position and how tough it is for them. But people acting like the family in question have done will do nothing to help anyone.

A lot of care homes closed to visitors well before lockdown.

Not before the beginning of March. It doesn't account for the 9 month gap claimed by these people.

@Meadow1203

Sype and Zoom. FFS is this a joke. My dad can't even use a mobile phone

That's why the staff help the residents. If your father's carehome doesn't then maybe ask them why.

All this discussion is pointless anyways.

Anyone who disagrees with this woman's actions, wants all old people to suffer,die alone and be miserable until their inevitable end.

Because there's obviously no middle way or possible to agree that more needs to be done for care home residents but think this woman's were wrong.

"I apologise for that post, it didn’t come out as I intended it too."

How was it intended to come out then??

What on earth were you trying to say?

The nature of the beast isn't necessarily that by the time full time care is needed then relatives are no longer recognised!

" But people acting like the family in question have done will do nothing to help anyone."

That I agree with.

Moving on this was a post to highlight that the Government has locked up old frail people and denied contact with their loved ones. I for one have not been able to visit dad since March. This lady had tried everything, jumping through hoops to see her ailing mum, even offering to volunteer to work in the home with all the kit in place to be able to see her mum. This in my opinion is an appalling state of affairs. Who would have believed in this day and age that we would be banned from seeing their own family. People with Dementia need their own families

OP, are you deliberately closing your eyes to all the well-informed posts on this thread, or are you choosing to misrepresent what they say?

Virtually every care home allowed garden and window visits in the summer once lockdown came to an end, and also facilitated phone calls and online calls. The only ones that didn't were those that had active covid cases, and even then it was for the shortest periods possible. We are now in the position where there has been an official announcement that visits to care homes are permitted.

So it is simply not true to say that contact has been denied by the government, or that we are now banned from seeing family in care homes.

You also know that it's untrue to say that this lady had tried everything, when she never explained why she hadn't used the facilities on offer before, why it is 9 months since she saw her mother when lockdown only started in March, why she nowhere suggests that she tried to go through social services or to apply for Deputyship.

So why do you keep churning out these false allegations?

@Meadow1203 I work in a carehome, have become infected with Covid twice. I witnessed the death of 30 residents (Covid came into our home because the local hospital did not test one of our returning residents before discharge and he had contracted it) - we had no testing capacity until May and no adequate PPE.

It’s like this - if you had witnessed a lovely elderly resident that you know well and really gave a sh*t about die a death that wouldn’t look out of place in ‘The Exorcist’ (rapid breathing, bulging eyes, contorted body - I’m sure you get the picture), you would not, under any circumstances put anyone in a carehome at unnecessary risk. This means for the timebeing we really have to wave ‘bye bye’ to sentimentality. Would you rather your loved one or those around them live or die?

The only way forward with this IMHO (because I am only a careworker after all) is that there needs to be a designated family member for each resident who is regularly tested and therefore safe to enter the building. All our staff are now tested weekly and immediately isolated if positive (thankfully rare at the moment).

@Sirzy

And let’s not forget the nature of the beast is that by the time they need full time nursing care the resident doesn’t know if the person visiting is their daughter or a stranger. A good care home will be able to make sure the residents get the hugs and things hey need but safely so

More ignorance on display. My mum knew who I was most days to the end. Her face lit up and her greeting was inevitably “It’s my darling daughter”.

The answer is extensive testing and quick testing

@TheSeedsOfADream

It certainly shows a missing link in the chain doesn't it? That according to the granddaughter (ex Coronation Street actress etc) the family have been trying since the beginning of lockdown to have the lady removed. Writing to their MP, ministers, social services and PHE. What a shame their concerns don't seem to have been addressed during the nine months they didn't visit the home.

They haven't really said that. In fact they are quite confused about the sequence of events, including when the grandmother went into the care home. I haven't seen anything saying that they wrote to Social Services, and writing to MPs and PHE realistically won't achieve anything on its own. Most significantly, they didn't do anything about applying for Deputyship.

You say their concerns weren't addressed but you don't know that. It didn't result in the grandmother leaving the home, but that may well have been for very good reason including issues as to whether the daughter's home was suitable and whether she was realistically able to provide 24 hour care.

Don't you wonder why they didn't visit for 9 months, given that lockdown only started in March and most homes have been allowing garden and window visits for some time?

@MadameTuffington, thank you for everything you and your colleagues do. It's thanks to you and people like you that I've been able to sleep for the last four years knowing that my Mum wasn't at Asda half-naked at 4am but warm, safe and cared for.
My Mum died in June but I still follow the home on FB (fireworks last night for the residents, poppy making today) and I know that nobody cares more about the residents than the people who work with them and that every death, whether from Covid or other reasons, affects the staff more than we can know.
You deserve medals.

@derxa

The answer is extensive testing and quick testing

And key worker status for one family member per resident.

@derxa

The care home allowed Skype and zoom conversations. They allowed window visits Absolutely revolting

Why?

@MoonJelly. My sarcasm seems not to have communicated well today. I was taking the piss out of the OP's unwavering support for these clowns.
What they did, despite what they say, before their performance and talk show interviews, seems to be precisely fuck all.

We have tried everything to help our residents keep in contact with relatives. Skype, phonecalls, visiting outside, social distancing, window contact. We have a designated room, the weather is getting bad, still having to social distancing use of ppe.

We have had no cases of covid either residents and staff. We are trying to keep life as normal as we can.

@Meadow1203

Sype and Zoom. FFS is this a joke. My dad can't even use a mobile phone

It's facilitated by the home. The resident doesn't have to "use" anything. For them, it's like a phone call set up by someone else, with the bonus of being able to see their relative.

I know if my dad was in his right mind 100% he would want to take this risk of seeing us. 100%

Can you be sure about that? If you had the choice, would you rather be kept safe or risk a horrible, terrifying painful death where you drown in your own secretions?

And what about the risk to other people? It's all very well you and your father being prepared to take the risk of his catching Covid, what about the other vulnerable residents who aren't, what about the carers, what about health care professionals in hospitals?

I've thought about this a lot in relation to my mother, and I feel awful about the current situation. But I really cannot see what alternative the home has other than to take maximum precautions around visits, as they are doing.

@Meadow1203

And if they were allowed to visit which they should be able then none of this would have happened. simples

They were allowed window visits but didn't take up that option till October. And they've never explained how come they took 9 months to visit when lockdown didn't start till March.

@Meadow1203

Surely if there was an answer Age uk would be campaigning.

I lost relatives in a care home to covid and I was not allowed to see them . But if I knew other relatives had barged in and even taken the virus in I would not have been happy .

There is film of a partial solution today a sort of hug suit through a screen that is being trialed .

And as for this case I would like to hear from the care home and the council for their side of the story .

@Meadow1203

So how can feed someone through window or give them a hug. Read to them. Just does not work

You can't, because you risk infecting them. Still doesn't explain why these two weren't prepared even to go and talk to their mother/grandmother until very recently.

@TheSeedsOfADream. that’s so sweet - thank you but it really is a pleasure to care for people with dementia - it is a fascinating and varied job and I have met some brilliant characters - everyone’s history is so rich!!

I am truly sorry to hear of the passing of your Mum and am glad she was looked after so well and that that gave you some peace of mind.

The whole point of my posting here is to try to make people understand that homes are locked down for the best of reasons - to keep our residents safe. We carried out garden visits, window visits, fish & chip nights (in the garden and car park ffs) and allow visits for any resident who is ‘end of life’ with very strict PPE protocol - we also obvs do Skype and Zoom and assist all residents with this. We have banter with the residents, do all sorts of activities, proper chats, hugs & kisses ... the way forward really is about nominated family members and weekly testing.

If this bloody awful situation continues long term, our company is looking at the complete reorganisation of our home so as to facilitate more inclusive family visits.

Take care 🌈

Anyone who disagrees with this woman's actions, wants all old people to suffer,die alone and be miserable until their inevitable end.

Wow, you have a pretty low opinion of care home workers if this is what you think happens when residents are dying.