so we are now arresting people NOW Shocking

[Meadow1203]

I thought this was wind up but sadly it is true. A 73 year old retired nurse has been arrested and put in handcuffs because she took her own mother out of a care home. She has not had proper contact for 9 months and her poor 97 year old mum was ailing, she wanted to bring her home to care for her. Wow just wow how have we come to this.

They should let her go home. What is the point in a slightly longer life in a care home with no family around you? That is not really life at all even if you have dementia. My father died at home of dementia (because he could afford £130k for his at home care at home - he died just as he exhausted his life savings) and home was where he wanted to be even if he thought the people looking after him were nurses at his clinics (he was a doctor). He was in his own owned house, his security, his environment, his place. If death is quicker there that is a blessing not a curse. We don't talk enough about having a good death in the UK.

OP, you say you haven't seen your dad since March. Are you still living in a different country to him?

That according to the granddaughter (ex Coronation Street actress etc) the family have been trying since the beginning of lockdown to have the lady removed. Writing to their MP, ministers, social services and PHE. That is interesting as in the interview that a link was posted to the mother said her mother went into the home just after lockdown, the granddaughter seems to be making things up if she said that. She claimed in the interview her GM had been in the home for over a year.

My mother used to say if you wanted to be a liar you needed a good memory and ain't that the truth.

OP Theseeds or shall I call you dafty as it would be a better name. Maybe we should call you rude, or nomanners or something else maybe childish? You do realise that is how you sound when you start name calling?

They should let her go home How about treating the old lady with a bit of respect? Has anyone thought to ask her how she feels? I think she needs an advocate, they aren't terribly expensive, someone who isn't involved to sit and talk to her about what she wants, not what her daughter wants or what her social worker thinks but what she wants.

If they have been trying for 9 months to get her home as they claimed their argument should be with the social services and the local authority not with the government about covid .

They could have paid for a private covid test , proved they could care for at home with all the appropriate equipment for bathing etc and 24 hour care and then taken her home ?

The care home have declined to comment so unfortunately we are not getting the full story .

@Xenia

I agree if you can provide the care . There are physical restrictions with dementia to consider . At the end my auntie needed a special lift type contraption to get her out of her chair plus a hoist for the bath . Her mental health actually seemed to freeze at a point where she had long term memory but no short term memory but her physical state deteriorated very fast . There is no way she could be cared for at home.

At the moment both my parents are prone to falls and when it happens at night I have to drive an hour to pick them up and with my father I can’t do it on my own .They have refused to move . During the day they have carers but nothing at night .

It’s never straight forward .

@Xenia

They should let her go home. What is the point in a slightly longer life in a care home with no family around you? That is not really life at all even if you have dementia. My father died at home of dementia (because he could afford £130k for his at home care at home - he died just as he exhausted his life savings) and home was where he wanted to be even if he thought the people looking after him were nurses at his clinics (he was a doctor). He was in his own owned house, his security, his environment, his place. If death is quicker there that is a blessing not a curse. We don't talk enough about having a good death in the UK.

Yes. My DF died at the age of 92 but unfortunately the last 2 weeks were spent in the local cottage hospital. He was no longer himself at that point and in terrible pain. However he almost managed to die at home. I agree they should let her go home and die with her family around her. That is surely what most people want. I watched the interview with the family this morning. They were describing how long it takes to feed the woman in question. Care staff can't do that.

'for fuck sake this is not about the feeling of the care home. Watch the video'

Not it isn’t about the 'feeling' of the care home it's about health and safety, procedures, safeguarding. All these pesky things in place to protect vulnerable people.

No, I won't 'watch the video' thanks, they've been all over the media this week there can't be anything more to say unless they apologised for assaulting the staff and recognised a 73 yr old 'retired nurse' just doesn't have the right to remove someone from a care home without the correct arrangements being in place.

@TheSeedsOfADream

It certainly shows a missing link in the chain doesn't it? That according to the granddaughter (ex Coronation Street actress etc) the family have been trying since the beginning of lockdown to have the lady removed. Writing to their MP, ministers, social services and PHE. What a shame their concerns don't seem to have been addressed during the nine months they didn't visit the home.

According to the mum the lady has been in the care home since right before lockdown. How come she ended there in the first place if they tried since lockdown to have her home?

And once again I agree with you @Xenia.

Apparently she went into the home straight from hospital at the beginning of lockdown so there would have been no question of the family even trying to look after her at home then. I wonder how many other poor buggers it happened to and are now prisoners in care homes. They were shipped out of hospitals in droves.

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble, exactly. I was being sarcastic. So much doesn't add up with this story.

'This is not about me'

No it isn't you're right. It is about the health and wellbeing of all vulnerable residents in high risk areas like care homes. Marauding relatives don't get to do as they please.

The granddaughter is an anti Vader, COVID19 denier, conspiracy theorist who used her mum and her grandma for her own ends

OMG sugar you really have missed the whole point

Nicknacky

No I don’t expect people to live forever but judging by her own family longevity and the doctors say there isn’t anything wrong physically with her and making 100 seems not unreasonable then yes I do expect mil to be alive and kicking for another few years.
She has already had Covid and recovered.

Dp was shielding for 4 months and the change in his mental state was akin to dementia just from not going out and mixing with people for 4 months. It took him a bit of time to get enough courage to actually get behind the wheel of a car and drive somewhere. Getting out of the car took a bit more time.

'Dp was shielding for 4 months and the change in his mental state was akin to dementia just from not going out and mixing with people for 4 months'

I'm sorry to hear that but I would suggest he needs to get checked by his GP. Of course reduced interaction may affect people but to for it to be 'akin to dementia' would seem extraordinary and there must be much more going on, or perhaps an exaggeration?

No, I haven't. The mother was arrested for assault. The daughter set it up so she could get as much publicity as possible without a thought about her grandmother.

That is your spin sugar, have you actually watched the interviews?

GetOffYourHighHorse

No I am not exaggerating. His mental cognition did deteriorate to the point of us being really worried about him. His ability to follow a conversation or just repeating things over and over. He sat in the garden and and at one point he panicked as he didn’t know where he was. Plus he was on the way to becoming agoraphobic.

He is better now but it has left a bit of a mark and made him worry for the future.
He is definitely not staying in again. It made his life worse and as he has more than likely had Covid then he can’t see the point.
No point in going to see our doctors surgery as depending on what dr you get the response will be either,

It’s your age.

What do you want me to do about it.

Or the classic

Well I can’t give you 300 sleeping pills that won’t cure anything or there is no blood test for dementia

You have to be really desperate to actually think of going to this doctors surgery.

@TheSeedsOfADream

It certainly shows a missing link in the chain doesn't it? That according to the granddaughter (ex Coronation Street actress etc) the family have been trying since the beginning of lockdown to have the lady removed. Writing to their MP, ministers, social services and PHE. What a shame their concerns don't seem to have been addressed during the nine months they didn't visit the home.

Not all local authorities allowed visits during or after lockdown. It’s purely down to individual Local Authorities and Care home COVID policies. I really doubt these women just couldn’t be bothered to turn up. They say in their interview the only time they could see her was when she was admitted to hospital and asked again if she could be released in to their care instead of the care home.

I don’t understand some of the cynicism of these posts. It’s really unpleasant.

This is a real problem that’s happening to many elderly people in care homes. There really does have to be some kind of balance of safety and humanity.

Nobody is going to just wheel a dementia patient out of care with out real belief of justification.

I hope they are all ok.

There are a lot unpleasant people on here. Who cares the grand daughter is an actress how is that even relevant. People can't even bother to look at the facts but spout their vileness This case has high lighted that we have locked our old folks up , some of them and the end of their lives and they have been prisoners in these homes, Loved ones locked out It is not acceptable. I hope this event will help to change things

@Meadow1203

There are a lot unpleasant people on here. Who cares the grand daughter is an actress how is that even relevant. People can't even bother to look at the facts but spout their vileness This case has high lighted that we have locked our old folks up , some of them and the end of their lives and they have been prisoners in these homes, Loved ones locked out It is not acceptable. I hope this event will help to change things

You haven't paid attention to a single thing that people have been pointing out, have you?

Dmils care home had only just opened up and is now closed again.

I think people forget that care homes have been shut for months. You couldn’t see your relatives so berating someone for not visiting I ask what exactly were they supposed to do.

Nobody is going to just wheel a dementia patient out of care with out real belief of justification.

So @Codexdivinchi do you think that "real belief of justification" means that someone can completely ignore all safeguarding issues?

What if I have a brother, and he disagrees with the care our mother is getting, but I agree with it - is he justified in kidnapping our mother because he has "a real belief of justification"??