To think this isn't stingy?

[WaterOffADucksCrack]

Dp has just got home from work and complained at the "stingy" portions left for him. This consists of 5 (good quality) sausages, carrots, peas, broccoli and a large bowl of mash (3 generous portions). Aibu to think this is not stingy at all?

Fwiw he has already eaten breakfast, a pack up and a bacon and egg sandwich from a food van ( I only know this as h3 messaged me). And I know someone is going to ask if I underfeed him (it isn't my job to feed him) but he is 5ft 9 and at least 20 stone.

@WaterOffADucksCrack firstly sorry for the language but I'd say I've tried to be polite and your not listening. Your eaten way too much for one person I can't afford to feed you at the rate you consume it you either have something wrong with your brain like a Labrador dog that you don't feel full or your just a greedy fat cunt. Either way your stopping today cause I'm on a budget and I'm going to start looking stuff away and if you don't stop I'm going to the dr myself to chat about you as I'm not having your greediness anymore. X

Sorry for the couple of typos. X

WhereverIGoddamnLike you must make a fortune being a mind reader! I mean wow, automatically knowing what I meant and what I wanted from this thread is nothing short of amazing. Sit tight for the parade in your honour, it'll definitely happen because I said so.

This is clearly a post from a wife who is annoyed about her husband's disrespect towards her - criticising her meals - and also maybe worried about her DHs perceptions of food portions. Not a fat bashing post.

No it's not stingy and he's eaten a huge amount of food in one day by the sounds of it. More than the recommended amount.

[quote WhereverIGoddamnLike]@Littleposh

Usually when someone starts a thread in which someone has done something which is totally ridiculous and wrong regarding food (so she doesnt need to ask because it's obvious) and then mentions "oh, he's really big," it's usually looking for a whole load of "what a disgusting fat person" responses.

Fat people know they are fat. It is a fact. But a thread of people calling fat people disgusting is not factual or nice or necessary.

All the other info the OP drip fed is totally separate from starting it out in the same pattern of the usual "arent fat people disgusting" trope.[/quote]
I dosagree with you. It was absolutely ok to put weight and height there. Otherwise half a thread would be "but is he ok wight or overweight?" So no. No fat shaming there and I am quite frankly tired of "fat shaming" being called where it isn't.

There is a difference between "knowing you are fat" and how fat you are. Many of us were genuinely so deep in denial we did not know HOW fat we were. My brain kept playing this "nah, just a size or 2 max" stupid game on me... Denial can distort reality a lot.

Just an fyi about the "ususal aren't fat people disgusting trope", I actually pointed it out on one thread about obesity. The worst, and on that thread ONLY name calling happens from "defenders". No one else used any words like that.

Here though he is a greedy pig and his behaviour is absolutely disgusting and it's fair to say that since that is simply a fact

@SchrodingersImmigrant

And there you go, "pig."
Thats not factual, nor helpful. You can make the same point without calling another human being a pig. Its just name calling, and being overweight and over eating doeant excuse calling other humans pigs.

Read or listen to the Obesity Code by Jason Fung. Absolute life changer for the obese. Everyone should read it. If you get him to read it too even better.

He is a nephrologist (liver doc) and I cannot recommend it enough.

[quote WhereverIGoddamnLike]@SchrodingersImmigrant

And there you go, "pig."
Thats not factual, nor helpful. You can make the same point without calling another human being a pig. Its just name calling, and being overweight and over eating doeant excuse calling other humans pigs.[/quote]
But now as an adult for example I have coeliac disease and he will eat all my gluten free snacks then eat his so I have nothing. If I receive chocolates and don't eat them that day he'll assume I don't want them and eat them all.

It's this type of behaviour that makes him a pig,or a dick or a twat.

I'm overweight,I over eat. What I don't do is eat DD's or OH's stuff, especially stuff with a specific purpose.

[quote WhereverIGoddamnLike]@SchrodingersImmigrant

And there you go, "pig."
Thats not factual, nor helpful. You can make the same point without calling another human being a pig. Its just name calling, and being overweight and over eating doeant excuse calling other humans pigs.[/quote]
But he is one! Because he takes from his children. He takes from his family. He doesn't care about them 🤷🏻
When he starts behaving like a human with adequate brain capacity to understand that you cannot behave like this, he will stop being a pig.

I think it's quite sad that you go without food/have only one sausage, in order to facilitate his huge and undesirable portions.

His portion size is one thing health wise but if you had more money wouldn't be such an issue. More concerning is that he will let you go without, because you have little money. Have you spelt it out clearly that you are sacrificing things? What does he say?

A compulsive, unable to stop himself need to over eat is not just a greedy personality, it's an addiction and an illness.
Doesnt make it ok but also foesnt necessitate a thread of people name calling, which isnt productive for the OP but I think dye quote enjoyed the vitriol.

Talk about problems as much as needed, advise as much as you can but the name calling just isnt nice.

If I were OP, I wouldn't have even married the guy. I certainly would have left long ago, but I'm not calling her any names for staying there and keeping kids living with that.

He does sound like he has an eating disorder tbh. EDNOS or binge eating disorder. If he cannot stop no matter what he really needs to get therapy as it is an illness/addiction.

Maybe try sitting down and telling him how worried you are about his health and sleep apnoea. Ask him if he wants to be around to see DC grow up. Then book an appointment for him with GP.
He needs sleep studies to diagnose the sleep apnoea and a CPAP machine to treat it.
Once that is sorted you can deal with his overeating. 16 sausages is way too much for a family of four.
Mention that he has an unhealthy view on appropriate portion size and physically put an appropriate portion size in front of him. Some people need the visual .
Good luck

If I were OP, I wouldn't have even married the guy. Erm I haven't married him. He hasn't always been like this.

Wallywobbles Thank you for the recommendation.

@WaterOffADucksCrack

The situation you are in is awful. He would leave you and your kids with no food. You have to go without/hide food/hide money. It's very hard to read your posts.

You seem to tiptoe around him too- are you scared of his response?

I'm not blaming you for his problems. But, you have a choice here and to be honest if you don't leave you are going to be bringing your children a whole heap of issues in the future. They don't have a choice, you do.

Weenurse I've spoken to him about his health numerous times. He absolutely will not go to the doctors. For this or anything.

NeilBuchananisBanksy if we split the children will be with him half the time anyway?! I certainly don't tiptoe around him, I've been very blunt about this issue.

Jeremyironseverything I'd never go without at meal times nor would the children. I don't eat sausages. It's the snacks he eats.

There are always plenty of healthy snacks available, plenty of fruit and vegetables etc but he doesn't want to eat them, he'd rather eat a 4 pack of chocolate bars.

So he's not willing to change- you have to decide whether to accept that for you and your children.

If only one child is his, it would only be that child that would have contact? Also it might not be 50/50. And it's false logic to stay in an unhappy relationship because of contact time.

It also might mean he has to buck up his ideas if he doesn't have you there to ensure food is in supply. If not, you could make a strong case for contact to be limited.

I wôuld make him buy his own food/snacks if he won't stop eating everyone else's. It sounds like money is short and you can't afford for him to eat like this. Give him a warning first, invite him to sit down and meal plan with you, work out the costs etc. If he won't agree to that you have your answer , he doesn't care because you're sorting it out. If he has to sort it out maybe he'll start caring.

usually looking for a whole load of "what a disgusting fat person" responses

Anyone who expects THIRTEEN sausages for dinner, fat or not, is disgusting in my book.

Time to talk to him about life insurance and funeral expenses then., at least make sure you and DC can survive without him.

If only one child is his, it would only be that child that would have contact? Also it might not be 50/50. And it's false logic to stay in an unhappy relationship because of contact time. The oldest is mine so would obvs stay with me. The middle is his so would obvs stat with him. The youngest is ours and due to our work 50/50 would be the only way. Plus, sorry to disappoint you but I am not in an unhappy relationship. This is the one issue we have.

you could make a strong case for contact to be limited I don't agree with limiting contact except in abuse cases for example. Our daughter adores her dad.