would you go to middle east

[gg12346]

Husband just announced that he will be travelling to middle east for work .He has been given a decent package .Our kid is in primary so doesnt matter much but I am very upset with the news I dont wish to relocate .I dont work at the moment but I plan to work in future
Am I been unreasoble if I tell him I shall rather leave him to work there alone and go back home to live with my parents for a few months.I cant live in london all alone with kid makes no sense .
AIBU in saying so ? I just dont wish to go with him .There is no feeling left to always wander around.

According to BBC “Hundreds of Saudi women flee the conservative kingdom every year and run away to Western countries over allegations of domestic abuse and oppression back home.”

I'm amazed they're able to flee; I had the impression they had to have a male relative's permission to leave the country by any route.

As a woman and a mother and aunt and girls I would never go to the Middle East

Gilbert - I think the law changed in 2019 for women over 21

But from the BBC article I quoted, one Saudi girl who sought asylum in the U.K. had been travelling with her family and their flight stopped off at Heathrow. In the few minutes her family had gone to the toilets, she was able to hand a note to airport staff. She really must have been desperate

Anyway, as others have said the ME is a big place with a lot of different countries and variation.

Saudi and Qatar are Salafi Islamic States.
Salafi Islam is fairly fundamentalist.

For example, my ex work colleague told he some westerners (young men really) go to watch the public executions every week at a certain public square.

There was recently a documentary about a 19 year old Saudi princess who was executed (shot to death) for infidelity in the 70s.

They may look modern in the surface and westerners may be able to have an ok time in compounds etc but they are what we would consider medieval in certain laws and customs ... And you'd be very foolish to forget it or take risks.

What's the percentage on the poll just out of interest?
It won't show me as I haven't voted yay or nay because didn't feel I could answer on "would I go to the Middle East"as that's tons of countries and a huge area

I think the law changed in 2019 for women over 21

Ah, I see.

She really must have been desperate

Given the way their princesses are treated in Saudi and Dubai - you have to.windercabout more ordinary families.

But if it is a safe country and women have total freedom why the need for a compound?

What is the point of the compounds?

But if it is a safe country and women have total freedom why the need for a compound?
What is the point of the compounds?

Exactly, and would be interested to know the answer to that myself

Agreed, hate to think how many ordinary Saudi women who are in oppressive situations without a voice. Even with the changes to the law, women from poorer backgrounds may not speak English very well, know how to apply for asylum or be able to afford to travel etc

What is the point of the compounds?

Privacy, facilities etc.

Crikey, there are some extreme views on here which would appear to be from those who have never set foot in Saudi Arabia, let alone lives/worked there!

From the FCO advice:

Homosexual or extra-marital sexual relations, including adultery, are illegal and can be subject to severe penalties.

The Saudi legal system differs in many ways from the UK. Suspects can be held without charge and are not always allowed quick access to legal representation. The Saudi authorities have detained witnesses and victims of crimes. If you need consular assistance, British Embassy staff will try to visit you as soon as they are aware of the case, but in some instances Embassy staff have not been permitted to do so immediately or have had access limited.

Reporting a rape would be treated as a confession of a crime, so no need for an investigation or proper trial even if they did care about such things.

It's irrelevant that a few individuals spent time in a country and "felt safe". What matters is how badly wrong it can go if your luck ends. Because it is predominantly about luck.

I expect the women who were forcibly stripped and sexually assaulted at Doha airport felt safe right up until the point they were being held down by officials and having their underwear ripped off and their body violated - with no recourse to anyone to protect them.

Exclusivity as well.i suppose.

(that was about compounds).

The first reports on doha news about the airport "incident" heavily emphasised the crime that had been committed (attempted murder of an infant).

Since then they've said the officials/decision makers are being investigated ...I'm sure that won't be a white wash at all.

Odd that ex-pat places all over the world manage without compounds. I mean there are lots of ex-pats in various places and yet they are missing all that privacy, exclusivity and facilities. I hadn't noticed myself... having lived in a few countries.

They omitted to mention the crime had only been committed because a desperate mother who'd given birth prematurely while presumably trying to flee the country did it because she didn't want to be arrested and imprisoned for having sex outside marriage.

Your husband is being completely unreasonable, he can’t just announce that the whole family now lives in the middle east and expect you to shrug and obey. It would be shit for you and for the child (and especially disruptive for the child’s development and ‘sense of home’).

I worked in Dubai for a while. Amazing lifestyle. I couldn’t wait to get back to UK, the culture (especially regarding women but also the constant racisim against others / treatment of migrant workers, who were practically slaves, was hard to watch) is just not for me. Most of the European nonworking spouses who had gone out with their partner said they were depressed out there.

Be aware that if you do choose to relocate, the middle east location will become your child’s ‘country of permanent residence’ and you will NOT be entitled to bring your child back to UK without husband’s permission. That’s under UK & international law as well as middle east.

If your husband is really this self-centered and oblivious to your needs then it’s even more essential that you live in a country where you will be able to work should you need to.

Good luck OP. xx

There is no chance in hell I would set foot in Saudi Arabia as a woman.

Oh, and this is uplifting too for someone whose husband likes to make unilateral decisions about their lives:

Married women require their husband’s permission to leave Saudi Arabia, while unmarried women and children require the permission of their father or male guardian.

So even if he allowed you to leave the country, he might not let your children go with you.

And then there's this gem:

You’re not allowed to leave the country once an employment case is in the labour courts, and it can take many years to be finalised.

And this sounds super:

You need a final exit visa to leave Saudi Arabia – your sponsor will arrange this.

And, of course, this:

Saudi laws and customs are very different from the UK – breaking the law can result in severe punishment, including the death penalty.

www.gov.uk/guidance/living-in-saudi-arabia

They've also omitted to clarify how you investigate officials who were only presumably enforcing their laws with the rights they believe they have (or had reason to believe they have) .. they had no concept of human rights violation of those women, because that's par for the course, not because one airport official decided to act maverick and "crazy" and has a totally different concept of human rights from his compatriots.

I grew up in the ME. No way on earth would I go to Saudi.

Married women require their husband’s permission to leave Saudi Arabia, while unmarried women and children require the permission of their father or male guardian.

That fits with what I'm aware of.

I'm not sure if the law change in 19 the poster above referred to is unmarried or married women.

My nephew lives in Saudi Arabia, with his wife. Both grew up in the UAE. They won't stay forever, and the local rules are capricious, but to suggest that the sky is going to fall in on them is nonsense.

Odd that ex-pat places all over the world manage without compounds. I mean there are lots of ex-pats in various places and yet they are missing all that privacy, exclusivity and facilities. I hadn't noticed myself... having lived in a few countries.

They're common in exclusive parts of the US (so called gated communities), in South Africa and I've seen them in West Africa. Off the top of my head.

Anyway there really is limited crime in the Middle East - because the penalties are so harsh.

If you're not a native obviously.