AIBU to wish I were religious?

[religiouslychallenged]

Name changed as I never thought I'd be anything other than a stoney atheist (and it's a hell of a lot of fun to come up with new names, pardon the pun).

Can't help but feel on some level desperate for religion. I poked fun at people who were heavily emotionally attached to the concept of God, mostly to do with premarital shagging. Now I wish I had something I could dedicate myself to as much as folk dedicate themselves to God and religion. Anyone else?

I desperately wished I was religious after my mum died, but other than that, I’m mostly pleased I am not. I’m too fucking lazy to dedicate myself to anything tbh.

You don't need ridiculous superstition. Get a hobby.

No. My faith keeps me afloat.

Not quite the same but I have sometimes wished I had faith when there has been a death in the family. My exDPs parents were catholic and one of their parents died and they believed so strongly that they would be going to heaven that it was comforting to them. I sometimes think that would be quite nice.

I hate religion though really, I hate it's used to oppress people, especially women. So am an atheist through and through!

I desperately wished I wasn't religious after a family tragedy. But I am and no matter what I thought I couldn't change that. Like @Iwonder777 my faith keeps me afloat. It anchors me.

I'm not sure I'm dedicated to God though. I suppose I must be, although not as much as he is dedicated to me.

And I have no issue with premarital sex

Dunno, just sort of wish I could say "Yep, God's keen on me doing that" and then go through with it. Or like actually having a thing that I believe to my soul as i'm not sure i believe in all that much.

Not really about all the heaven shit - im ok with being worm food but I'd like to have something to dedicate myself too during my time on Earth. maybe I do need a hobby though

How about being a humanist?

I'm an atheist but can see the appeal of having the idea of an afterlife, greater power or meaning etc. The way I see life though, is that we're a blip in geological time and we're lucky we get our chance of life, so we should make the best of it for ourselves (doing things which make us happy) AND try to help other people live a happy, safe life too.

For the connection to something bigger than you try music, or walking in the hills.

I hear you. I'm committed athiest and firmly view religion as the "opium of the masses" etc that is used to coerce and control.

That said, a few friends are religious and it does give them something. A Jewish friend openly states that she doesn't believe, but the sense of community and history is something she draws a lot of strength from.

Still couldn't bring myself to believe though.

humanism seems quite cool. i just can't make myself believe in shit and struggle to tie myself to groups. theres like none that i 100% agree with but i wish i did so i could have a core purpose and know what i value.

@NationalShiteYear community and history, maybe that's what im after. i guess it's for the sense of belonging rather than the big beardy bloke in the sky

Have you ever read the Bible? I don't mean reading it like a book, from cover to cover. I mean... Think of a question you have and Google what the Bible says about it.

I don't think you have to have a lot of faith to explore faith. You don't have to be 'all in' to check it out.

@Lougle yeah i went to a religious school and they handed them out, so oi was keen on reading them to see kind of what the fuss was about

just can't get behind the homophobia / sexism / general gatekeeping shit that's not necessarily part of the bible but is part of extreme religion. couldnt identify with a group like christianity for these associations really (sorry if that sounds bad)

I used to be very religious so I kind of went the other way. I volunteer a lot so I'm pretty busy and I have friendships not associated with religion which was probably the most shocking thing as I actually feel like really friendships, instead of the religious friendships who all turned their back when I left the religion cult

I think everyone likes to feel needed, wanted, included and have a purpose which is why religion works so well. But you can have those without religion.

But equally, I was a member of my religion for 33 years or more, so I do get it.

I know what you mean. It must be so nice and comforting to have something you believe in. There are lots of people who despair about what happens when we die, but Christians believe they go to Heaven, and they are so invested in that.

We know it's not true, so we don't have that comfort. But I do often envy the peace that must come along with such a belief, and you're never going to realise it's not true, your consciousness will just 'end', so there's no harm done in the comforting belief whatsoever.

i think for me its probs to do with needing to find a group of my people. religion seems a good way to seek out likeminded folk and have a support network

just feel like widespread religions arent that supportive of groups that i think should be supported and less well known religions (like humanism) don't have the community am looking for.
wonder if it's worth sacrificng some morals for a bit of community though it's funny to say that as people usually think its the other way around

It's possible to have strong spiritual beliefs without being religious or joining a church. You can practice as much or as little of any religion which appeals to you. I understand that many with strong religious beliefs will disagree but TBH I think if there is a God she doesn't give a single shiny shit about how often you go to church. I think Buddhists, humanists and Quakers all have something interesting to offer.
I don't go to church or believe in a God of religion but I actually pray everyday and find it very helpful.

Sexism/ homophobia etc have unfortuneately become associated with some religious institutions. If you go back to reading what Jesus/ the Buddha etc actually said there is very little of this type of thing, quite the opposite. Having a faith would certainly give meaning to life . Perhaps try mindfulness meditation, spend time in nature etc and see how it affects you rather than trying to reason it out rationally. There are many things beyond our understanding.

I wish i did as i lost my mum and wished i believed she was watching my son and beaming with pride, but No i dont and it breaks my heart

Hi @religiouslychallenged I just wanted to say that if you aren't 100% behind a religious idea, then you would probably be in line with the VAST majority of people of faith. I've never yet met a person that I agree with on everything, in life or in my faith community. The sense of community and tradition does help to overcome those differences and enable rational and respectful dialogue.
I've also been encouraged to continue to question, doubt and challenge all areas of my religion. Anywhere that you can't do that is a cult (not just confined to religion, there are plenty of political cults too).
Anyway, it sounds like you're on a 'faith journey' of sorts and it would be interesting to see where it leads.

i'd be keen on any religion that thought of god as a woman, might be a nice change from the age old stuff. maybe i'll make my own haha

i mean i'm affected by the sexism / homophobia and all of that stuff but i'm also bothered about the pedophilia in some religous groups. i know that might be divisive or whatever but thats a lot more hands on than some religious folk running astray with their own ideas about gay people or women and the like.

i think stuff like wicca is also cool as a concept, but all religions feel a bit like acting out a play or playing make belief for me

YANBU. I would love to be part of a community of like - minded people, with common aims and traditions and a feeling of goodwill toward one another. I don't have any extended family and I'm not native to the UK; it would have been a boon when the children were small. Faith would be an added bonus!

[quote religiouslychallenged]@Lougle yeah i went to a religious school and they handed them out, so oi was keen on reading them to see kind of what the fuss was about

just can't get behind the homophobia / sexism / general gatekeeping shit that's not necessarily part of the bible but is part of extreme religion. couldnt identify with a group like christianity for these associations really (sorry if that sounds bad)[/quote]
In all parts of society there will be good and bad. Churches are full of people, and people get things wrong. But there is no uniform 'church' - different churches have different interpretations of what the Bible teaches.

I'm not offended in the slightest

can i ask what your faith religion is kitchendancefloor? ive probably been indoctrinated by shitey school environment so im keen to hear about any supportive religious group

i guess theres no uniform church yeah but theres a set of morals (like not having sex before marriage, though dunno why i'm so fixated on that one) that people usually are keen on mentioning to you a lot. bit like veganism i guess ... dig the idea but the extreme people usually push you back from the community a bit

I get you OP. I’m not religious but I often think about how lovely it would be to have the meaning and structure religious faith can provide. I like the idea of belonging to a community, attending church with regularity, marking the year with something meaningful beyond what I ascribe to it. I go to church at Christmas and Easter to tap into that, but it feels a little hypocritical because I’m not a believer.

I wished I believed in heaven and the idea that god is in control, that everything happens for a reason and tough times are part of a bigger plan. I’ve come to know so many religious people though who struggle with their faith and it’s not smooth sailing like I imagine