AIBU to wish I were religious?

[religiouslychallenged]

Name changed as I never thought I'd be anything other than a stoney atheist (and it's a hell of a lot of fun to come up with new names, pardon the pun).

Can't help but feel on some level desperate for religion. I poked fun at people who were heavily emotionally attached to the concept of God, mostly to do with premarital shagging. Now I wish I had something I could dedicate myself to as much as folk dedicate themselves to God and religion. Anyone else?

why would god give us free will tho? like genuinely if he's made this whole world why would he let us basically run around killing ourselves and doubting him. what does he get out of this situation

All these questions and more are answered in the series of books I mentioned up thread.

@religiouslychallenged

why would god give us free will tho? like genuinely if he's made this whole world why would he let us basically run around killing ourselves and doubting him. what does he get out of this situation

also why does he want us to pray to him (providing he's a him) or is that just human interpretation of religion?

I'm pretty certain that He doesn't want us to run around killing ourselves. We had freedom. Genesis tells the story of Adam and Eve. They had the run of the garden. They just had to leave that one tree alone. They didn't. Everything went wrong from there. Sin (bad stuff) is a reality in our world.

I believe that God wants a relationship with us. He wants us to talk to Him. To ask Him for what we need.

I feel exactly the same.

I love other people’s faith, their joy that causes them to sing out, the songs are moving, the rituals, the ceremony, the chanting... I feel moved every Christmas when I see the sheer dedication of so many people to something they love.

But I just can’t believe. I just won’t ever. I prayed as a child and awful things happened to me, Faith in a God is not something I have and the church itself is problematic.

okay but my question is (and i'm actually sorry if i'm in any way shitting on your religion, not trying to just feel like i have a lot of drawbacks) why would he give adam & eve access to the tree if he didn't want them to go near it? like if I had a boyfriend who said "don't do this relatively arbitrary thing because I'm telling you not to" and then I went and did the thing and he was like "whoop, you're a sinner get punished" i might be a bit wtf.

i know that's majorly oversimplifying, but i guess i wonder why he'd kinda play mind games.
also notice eve gets a keen amount more blame than adam but that's maybe just my perspective

thanks fojn, sorry for not acknowledging ill take a look at the books

Like @Iwonder777 my faith keeps me afloat. It anchors me.

That's one of the most powerful words I've read on Mumsnet.

You could consider reading religion for atheists by Alan de Botton

@weary
am not tryin to call christians sexist or homophobic, i just know a lot of the ones who are very in your face about religion spout a lot of xenophobic nonsense and i can't get behind that. not to say its the sole sum of christianity tho, am probably in discourse with the outliers.

how do you feel god listens to your prayers if you don't mind me asking?

I don't have all the answers. But I have peace with that. I think the only question I need certainty in is "Do I believe Jesus came to save the world and to give us eternal life?" And I do. That means that the fact that I don't quite understand suffering, etc., doesn't stop me from committing my life to God.

I'm confident that God doesn't mind being questioned. I think the Psalms show that we can bring our troubles, our doubts, our questions, to Him. He isn't looking for us to blindly follow, but to follow in faith. And that means that He's happy to take us in uncertainty and doubt.

cheers northern star, i'll have a look. my bookshelf is filled with lots of religious and moral literature so am always interested in new ideas, tho pretty sure it just sends me deeper into the pit of despair haha

lougle sorry i'm really ramming it home with my responses n i don't at all mean to be rude. but to you, what does "blindly follow" mean? Because i define it based on following things you can't understand and will probably never be able to, which i guess for me seems like religion.

Yes, I am actively attempting to become religious at the moment.

Secular morality and thought seems to have lots its way, and I feel that I am becoming a bad person because of the influences around me.

I have started listening to religious podcasts, praying and following guided bible readings.

I genuinely believe it is going to help become more compassionate, understanding and forgiving. I have really slipped into being a not very nice person over the past decade.

can u specify what u mean stripes? about not being a good person

i feel that too and certain elements of me want to pack it all in, believe in god, renounce my virginity and get baptised but i think its probably just my extreme personality talking. catholic guilt without even being catholic !

@religiouslychallenged

lougle sorry i'm really ramming it home with my responses n i don't at all mean to be rude. but to you, what does "blindly follow" mean? Because i define it based on following things you can't understand and will probably never be able to, which i guess for me seems like religion.

So, for example, I have 3 daughters. One has a strong faith, but she's only 11. The other two are both a little ambivalent - they believe, I think, but don't feel a great deal of commitment to God.

DD3 said to me "Mummy, do Christians believe in atoms?" I said "of course.... Why?" and she said "Well we don't believe in evolution, which is science...and atoms are science...."

So we had a conversation about that. I told her that she has to use her brain and make her decisions about what she believes, alongside the Bible, etc., and that she should never be agreeing to 'believe' stuff just because someone tells her to.

If I don't see the truth of something in the Bible, I won't follow it. Because 'blind faith' leads you to following people, not God. And people get it wrong, but God doesn't. IMO.

lougle it's good to hear your perspective. what would be your advice to people who want to become religious? does it matter which one you join if you can kind of cherry pick the bits you agree with, and are all the religions celebrating the same god in different ways in your book?

This is one of the reasons religion was invented to be fair. To give people purpose. That and of course making people easier to control. People are much more likely to put up with a shite life and inequality/unfairness if they think it will be OK in the end. To realise there isn't a point as such is hopeless.

Find your own purpose. You don't need religion to do that. A relationship, family, a career, a hobby, whatever. Something to focus your energies on. That is fulfilling. You can live broadly the principles that the best of religion has to offer and feel very fulfilled. Care for others, do good deeds, be kind etc. I try to live that way though I am an atheist and it really helps. But for believing in God, much of what I do actually makes me more religious than some of my friends who actually are if that makes sense!

OP, you asked why God gave us free will to commit sins and hurt people.
Do you have children? Sometimes they are naughty, or violent, or behave like utter shits, but you still love them, right?
Would you prefer a doll, which was programmed to obey your every command, was unable to be naughty, had no free will and which blankly recited “I love you Mummy” every day? No?

Of course you wouldn’t- because it’s expression of love is meaningless, and you cannot have any kind of genuine relationship with it. It is not free to reject or hate you, so its love is forced.
It’s exactly like that with God. He loves us, and offers us a relationship with Him, but gives us the freedom to reject Him and choose sin.

newmum yeah i do wonder why all the religions are age old and we aren't keen to come up with new ones (except for scientology, my personal fave ). religion just seems very all encompassing in a way that hobbies or the like don't but maybe i don't have exciting enough hobbies

There was a thread on here last year where a lot of people admitted they go to church even though they don't believe in God because they just want to belong to the community and church family. My church welcomes all, accepting some are there just to explore the idea of faith. You may well decide it has nothing to offer you or you may surprise yourself.

This is one of the reasons religion was invented to be fair.

Agree. I remember praying and praying for my life to get better (I was only 9) and it never ever did, just downhill from there. If I asked anyone they’d say I wasn’t praying hard enough.

So yeah, now I don’t ask for things. I get them myself. And I really do not agree that being a religious person makes any one inherently good. The whole point is that humanity is not good, and we are seeking forgiveness and our route to that is to be a good Christian.

So I think it’s very easy to be religious until a terrible thing happens to you and you realise God is empty.

babdoc are rejecting him and choosing sin the same thing? i get the baby and doll analogy and i think it makes sense. but also i'm not out here wanting my kids to pray to me on any level or be grateful because i know as much as i've created them they don't really owe me anything.

I've found this thread really interesting, and I think I get what you're saying OP.
As I've got older I've felt a, not quite a need, but maybe a wanting to believe in something wholly and to feel part of something and well loved I suppose? To not have doubt or fear that you're not loved or wanted or truly a part of something - even though logically I know I am those things.
I do wish that maybe I had faith that I could take comfort in and turn to in times of crisis or distress that could sooth and comfort me. I don't believe wholly in anything though, I do find it quite depressing to think of us as just biological beings and with no bigger purpose and when you're dead, that's it. Maybe that's why and as I get older and am faced with my own mortality more I'm searching for answers.

Reject Him and choose sin.

Additionally rejecting him is not to choose sin.

Rejecting him is simply that. Sin is something else.

yeah if anyone has any insight into the whole "seeking forgiveness" thing or even the whole "born in sin" thing then i'd like to hear it.
don't want to bash any religions on here, i'm just wondering what everyone's responses are to my drawbacks as maybe that'll change my mind if its a new perspective