AIBU to wish I were religious?

[religiouslychallenged]

Name changed as I never thought I'd be anything other than a stoney atheist (and it's a hell of a lot of fun to come up with new names, pardon the pun).

Can't help but feel on some level desperate for religion. I poked fun at people who were heavily emotionally attached to the concept of God, mostly to do with premarital shagging. Now I wish I had something I could dedicate myself to as much as folk dedicate themselves to God and religion. Anyone else?

Lots of religious people aren’t certain of their beliefs. It’s possible to keep an open mind, explore spiritually and see where it takes you.

I always remember something I heard (in a sermon): the opposite of faith is not doubt. The opposite of faith is certainty.

It might be worth getting this moved to the religion/philosophy board?

I'm a leftie/feminist Christian who doesn't believe in Heaven and thinks of God as both female and male

Pardon the pun but it's a broad church

I'm a Christian. I was brought up in a strict faith family, rebelled as a teen, then found my own faith as an adult. I now feel at home in informal church environments where people speak in an every day vernacular rather than 'high church' thees, thous and Latinate phrases. All of the bells and smells feels like theatre that I'm watching, my casual church feels like I'm part of what is happening. I also meet with a small group regularly where we are very real with each other including doubts and difficulties.
My faith has definitely been an anchor. This horrendous year more than ever.

do any folk have experience of making themselves religious or is it just something you are? i want to give up a bit of control am guessing

and yeah i'd get it moved to the religion board but had a bit of a scrub through that and definitely not as alive as aibu. i'll move it if thats what everyone thinks is best though

There is a great series of books called "Conversations With God" which I loved reading. It was a totally different take on "God"; less dogma and more humour. I love Eckhart Toll too, everyone raved about "The Power of Now", I couldn't get into it but I loved "A New Earth".
Try a Quaker meeting if you want to try to find community, they seem quite laid back.

laurie how can someone be female and male and how does that actual work in practice? no trying to be rude or anything im just curious how that works

@DaisyDreaming

I wished I believed in heaven and the idea that god is in control, that everything happens for a reason and tough times are part of a bigger plan. I’ve come to know so many religious people though who struggle with their faith and it’s not smooth sailing like I imagine

Absolutely. There's no verse in the Bible that says "Believe in me and your life will be perfect". People with faith still get cancer, still get sick, still get bereaved, still get made redundant... There is no easy pass. But having faith in God brings great comfort and I believe that He gives us the strength to deal with whatever struggles come our way.

'He gives us the strength to deal with whatever struggles come our way.'

don't want a bunfight or anything like that, but whats your view on suicide or the like then? human failure? guess i just feel like any god who can let us die and be depressed and have mental illness isn't a bloke i wanna get on my knees and pray to. no disrespect meant tho

God is often talked about in my (CofE) church as being female. And we really have no issue with sex before marriage. Honestly! In fact the only people I know who insist Christians don't believe in it aren't Christians

For me personally it's the idea of an afterlife that puts me off religion. At one point all that kept me going was the idea that it wouldn't last forever.

These days the fact that I don't believe in the afterlife makes me sad as it means my dead loved ones are gone forever and that one day my children will never get see their loved ones again either.

porpentina can u tell me anything about CofE? all I know is that henry the 8th started it as he wasn't too keen on being married to COA but thats literally it haha. how does it differ from the rest of the christian religion groups?

"I mean i'm affected by the sexism / homophobia and all of that stuff but i'm also bothered about the pedophilia in some religous groups. i know that might be divisive or whatever but thats a lot more hands on than some religious folk running astray with their own ideas about gay people or women and the like." Totally get this and have said much the same myself, but I felt I might be chucking the baby out with the bathwater. Someone asked me to read John's gospel from beginning in one go, (its short) as though I hadn't heard it all before. its a good read.

I agree, it must be a great comfort to think that 'god has a plan' and that's why shitty things happen to you or those you love.

@religiouslychallenged

do any folk have experience of making themselves religious or is it just something you are? i want to give up a bit of control am guessing

and yeah i'd get it moved to the religion board but had a bit of a scrub through that and definitely not as alive as aibu. i'll move it if thats what everyone thinks is best though

I was brought up in a pretty atheist household. Mum liked the idea of C of E church. Dad dead against. Mum got us christened when Dad went abroad for work... Not sure he ever knew.

When I was 16, I met two Christian brothers (actual brothers, we worked at the same shop). I used to argue vehemently with one of them, who was quite 'preachy'. One day, he invited me to a youth event, and tbh I went to ridicule him.

After that, over time, I spent months discussing faith with them. I gradually got interested. When I asked my Dad to go to church, he didn't speak to me for 3 weeks (that's how against the church he was).

Dad made life pretty difficult for my church friends. He'd set a curfew, then when they complied, he'd set an earlier curfew. I think he thought they'd drop me. It's not cool for a 17 year old to need to be home by 9.30pm. But they stuck by me, and gradually his attitude changed, until he started to say "you can only go out if you're with them..."

Now, 25 years on, Dad won't hear a bad word said of our church (my sister is very anti and says pretty harsh things about it). He won't attend, but encouraged my Mum to attend before she got too ill.

I don't think of God as a person, so see God as beyond being male or female but I find it difficult to explain.

When I look at all the crimes committed by firm believers, I am glad I am not. If we balance the good and the evil religion brings into this world, they are lucky if they come out even. Just recently I had to call the police because two teens claimed they had seen an employee of a faith school watch child porn. The school did not even investigate even though they have a history of abuse. I want absolutely nothing to do with that club.

Why can't you dedicate your life to something real?

that's pretty cool your whole family got invested lougle. my da was raised protestant and my mam raised athiest but they hated the whole shebang yet still sent me to a religious school.
hard time trying to unpick people being shitty in a religious place against religion being shitty. still not sure what side of the table i land on

why can't you dedicate your life to something real

i mean fuck me, i thought i was being divisive what would you suggest i dedicate myself to?

@religiouslychallenged

'He gives us the strength to deal with whatever struggles come our way.'

don't want a bunfight or anything like that, but whats your view on suicide or the like then? human failure? guess i just feel like any god who can let us die and be depressed and have mental illness isn't a bloke i wanna get on my knees and pray to. no disrespect meant tho

Suicide is desperately sad. Whether it is thought out and planned for months/years, or whether it is a spur of the moment response to extreme distress. I don't think it's failure, at all. It's the ultimate extreme of being overwhelmed with your problems.

I'm not, though, sure what God should do differently? We have free will to make decisions. Often, those decisions can hurt other people, but should God remove our free will? If he did, there would be no faith, no decisions, no choices. I'm not sure that's a world I'd want to live in.

I guess even within the CofE there are differences mainly down to the leadership I guess.
I think we are less 'strict' than some of the other denominations. I know some Catholics will claim the CofE is wishy washy, and that we pick and choose which bits of the Bible to follow. But tbh that's what I like about it.
My Church (as in the actual one, not the CofE as a whole) is very Liberal. We (in pre covid days) had a weekly group where we discussed all aspects of religion. We are actively encouraged there to question the beliefs, and the Vicar has no issues with admitting she doesn't know, or can't explain the answer. We've had sessions where the word 'God' was banned!

I would imagine its not so easy now as they are closed, but once religious buildings open up again I would honestly recommend visiting a few and seeing if and how you fit in.

I always find it very strange when people imagine religion means you feel a sense of certainty or consensus or meaning. I can only imagine those people have never investigated any of the major religions.

I think if you are looking for something to dedicate yourself to, you should probably do what millions of people (religions or non-religious) do, and try to use your head to work out what you can do to help in the world.

If you think you feel a stirring towards religion, just follow it. See where it takes you. That's fine. But please don't buy into the idea that religion is something that will make you feel smugly pleased with your own good deeds.

why would god give us free will tho? like genuinely if he's made this whole world why would he let us basically run around killing ourselves and doubting him. what does he get out of this situation

also why does he want us to pray to him (providing he's a him) or is that just human interpretation of religion?

am not trying to feel smugly pleased about anything. i guess i think if i don't innately believe it then as rough as it sounds it might be nice to kind of pick it up as a hobby. am not looking for credit to being a good person, just like the idea of anything mattering

"hard time trying to unpick people being shitty in a religious place against religion being shitty."

I think it can be both. People have their own motivations and they can twist things to suit their motivations. That's why I've chosen to be part of a church that uses the Bible as it's foundation. The basic foundation is "what does the Bible say?" People have all sorts of opinions on different aspects of life, but what's important, to me, is whether those opinions match up with the Bible, because I believe it's the word of God.

It sounds like you've had some tricky experiences of religion, though.

lougle what about the whole "man not sleeping with man" thing. sorry paraphrasing but that quote thats usually used by homophobic people as an example of god saying that stuff in the bible.

guess i think, and i might be totally wrong, there has to be a twisting per individual person as we're 2000 years roughly off being able to actually relate to the bible on any kinda practical level. so folk have to pick and choose what they believe or they'll be walking around in double denim with no haircuts as a small example