Hate partner wearing ex Wedding anniversary gift

[AllABitOdd]

Okay, totally prepared to say I'm being unreasonable.

DP and I have been living together for 2 years. No issues, totally see a future together. In fact, it feels like we should have always been together.
Except we haven't. He had a brief marriage before meeting me. Was already on the rocks by the 2nd anniversary. Divorced before the 3rd.

Problem I had no s she bought him an expensive watch for their first anniversary (thousands of pounds- something I could never afford) and he still wears it and I hate it. He has kind of mentioned about selling it/part exchanging it but hasn't.

I don't know why but I just hate it. It constantly reminds me that's at some point he had planned a future with someone else.

I almost want to push harder for him to sell it or trade it in for a different one?

AIBU?

Hopefully this thread will help you forget your feelings around the watch.
I forget at 40 age has given me a clearer view on things that are worthy of worry.
Enjoy your relationship work on your self esteem and forget where the silly watch came from.

@Nicknacky 😂 it so would!

@SpongeWorthy I've accepted many times over that I am being unreasonable. I was defensive with two poster, where one said "I needed help" and one said I was a psycho or something- I can't remember exactly.

I've taken it in the chin, and have thanked posters who, although saying IABU, have offered constructive advice.

Not sure whether that makes me particularly "defensive"

Two particularly very sensitive posts that nail it
@MzHz
@ViciousJackdaw esp use of silly sausage❤️ That expression

@AllABitOdd you’ve been open & refective about the feelings being irrational but present nonetheless

YABU

When I divorced my ex I gave away all of the jewelry he bought me including 1/2 a carat diamond engagement ring and 1 carat diamond on a chain necklace. I knew I would not ever wear them again. I threw my wedding ring in the sea from the top of a cliff. I actually think it is a bit disrespectful to you to wear a watch his ex bought him if he knows it upsets you. If he.mentions again about part exchanging it just tell him that would make you really happy. Don't push him or he will feel pressured and dig his heels in.

I would not worry. Unless he is gazing at said watch with tears in his eyes rather than using it as a time piece - I honestly would not worry. I sort of see what you are saying @AllABitOdd , but it's just stuff unless he actually has a sentimental attachment. In some ways I think it is better it is expensive as a more logical reason to keep it.

Push him to sell it or trade it. Get a grip how selfish and insecure of you it's a eff ing watch. Have you ever thought maybe he likes it .... and wants to wear it?! It's nothing to do with who bought it ffs You even said it's something that he could never afford that's so mean how would you feel if you had something you liked and he tried to make you to get rid of it grow up are you a teenage girl no your probably some old middle aged woman

It's just a watch, It would be wrong to tell your partner to get rid of it, or wear it. You can't go telling people what to do. It may have had sentimental value at one time, but now it's just a watch. !

I understand. It's irrational and you know it is but feelings aren't always rational!

He likes the watch. He wears it cos he likes it. He wears it instead of the others he owns because it's nicer than they are.
I really doubt it's any more than that to him.

If he kept it in a silk lined box locked in a drawer and got it out nightly to gaze at it and stroke it and yelled at you not to touch it - then worry! 😁

@SentientAndCognisant

Two particularly very sensitive posts that nail it *@MzHz* *@ViciousJackdaw* esp use of silly sausage❤️ That expression

Yes- thank you to both for such nice posts. I genuinely feel much better about it this morning.

You don’t want to cause a fight over a watch. If you ask him to sell or exchange it then he’ll grow wary of you, think you as insecure and controlling. If he’s not in contact with his ex then I wouldn’t be worried.

If you’ve not had a serious relationship before then I can see how it would be difficult to understand your partner having one before you. However you have a son, so you made plans with someone once, maybe even got engaged or married? Do you keep things you bought with your ex or were gifted to you by your ex or other ex-partners? Your DP has lived with you for two years and I assume also with your son, I think that is commitment. But if you need more “public” signs of commitment like getting married then you need to talk to him about that. I would suggest either way that you should share your insecurities with your DP because that’s the best way to resolve those feelings.

are you jealous the ex is richer than you?

it seems odd to mention 'she bought him an expensive watch for their first anniversary (thousands of pounds- something I could never afford) and he still wears it and I hate it.'

sounds like you have issue comparing yourself to others, it will only make you bitter if you live your life like that - obviously her money didnt save their relationship so its nothing to be envious of