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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

362 replies

teaandtoast49 · 29/10/2020 08:49

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

OP posts:
PhilSwagielka · 30/10/2020 21:02

I thought that was why people gave sweets, because homemade cake or other goodies might make people paranoid.

browneyes77 · 30/10/2020 21:07

We weren’t allowed to go trick or treating as kids either. My mom saw it as begging and I kind of agree.

My brother and I never had any desire to do it anyway though so I don’t feel like we missed out in anyway.

If people want their kids to do it that’s up to them. I won’t answer the door if they came to mine as I don’t particularly agree with it or like it, but that’s just me.

PhilSwagielka · 30/10/2020 21:07

@Bummsbet

I love Halloween! I love decorating the house, i love Halloween parties and spooky fancy dress. That's fun! I absolutely hate trick or treaters! It is not fun to be terrorised in you own home by children and adults a like! The adults are usually worse than the kids. We have had our house egged several years in a row. People banging on our door and windows when we don't answer and it is highly unpleasant and distressing for our small children and pets. I don't decorate outside so I am not giving them and invite to knock. You can have fun at Halloween without begging and terrorising people!

It's all well and good people saying they only got to decorated houses but that is not the case everywhere!

I don't decorate, though I do have lights on - I have to as I work from home - and that hasn't stopped people trick or treating me.

I've not been egged yet but I do get paranoid about it sometimes.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 30/10/2020 21:12

@numberoneson I repeat "the concept of the devil is from the Old Testament though interpretations/discarding of the books within it vary according to different religions as they take their own routes." This is also true of those who don't follow an organised religion but do believe in God and the Devil.

Or perhaps you believe that you invented the devil yourself and he didn't feature in the Old Testament at all?

fatimashortbread · 30/10/2020 21:37

Guising is big in Scotland and the children don’t beg for sweets; they do a ‘turn’ for them - it’s a song, joke or story. Tradition is important.

Putting silver (a £1 coin currently) in a pram for a new baby is also a Scottish ‘thing’. I don’t need the money but value the importance others see in a new baby.

My point is some of these events and customs are to create a sense of community. It’s not about you!

TroysMammy · 30/10/2020 21:43

I never went trick or treating and never had or went on sleepovers. It wasn't a thing in the village I grew up in.

DownstairsMixUp · 30/10/2020 21:45

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Downton57 · 30/10/2020 21:58

Guising isn't begging. You gladly give out sweets so you don't get another verse of Baa Baa Black Sheep on the recorder. Halloween is fun for children and so are sleepovers. Some of my best childhood memories are of midnight feasts at my best friend's house across the road. It worries me that some of the over-protective and paranoid parents are going to cope with having older teenagers, when the risk-taking really begins and there's not much you can do but cross your fingers.

Downton57 · 30/10/2020 21:59

'going to struggle to cope' I meant!

drinkstoomuchwine · 30/10/2020 22:10

Not read all the thread .. sorry this may have been covered - I don’t understand why it has all got so creepy and am horrified by the screaming skeletons / death horror Halloween vibe - which I’ve seen a lot of wherever I’ve gone in the last couple of weeks.
What’s that all about?
I don’t want to take my 4 year old to a popular tourist attraction and see chained skeletons in an aquarium tank.
What happened to dressing up as a witches cat?
Why did a family with scream masks knock on my door last year thinking that was acceptable?

BilboBercow · 30/10/2020 22:12

Every year.

numberoneson · 30/10/2020 22:16

[quote SleepOhHowIMissYou]@numberoneson I repeat "the concept of the devil is from the Old Testament though interpretations/discarding of the books within it vary according to different religions as they take their own routes." This is also true of those who don't follow an organised religion but do believe in God and the Devil.

Or perhaps you believe that you invented the devil yourself and he didn't feature in the Old Testament at all?[/quote]
You are silly, aren't you? Or do you just like being sarcastic and putting people down because you're a sad wee soul?

JunoJigglewick · 30/10/2020 22:18

@Porcupineinwaiting it's one night out of the year to listen to children tell you a couple of jokes each or sing a 30 second song. It's really not a hardship!
I love the tradition.

TidyOmlette · 30/10/2020 22:20

I take my kids every year round the local area. We only go to houses with pumpkins/decorations. Sadly not this year due to cv19 but it’s always been great fun

NoSquirrels · 30/10/2020 22:24

I do like the “see all” function now on MN. I’d be interested to answer but the OP’s not been back so Halloween Confused

kateybeth79 · 30/10/2020 22:25

Because it's fun! The whole village gets involved so it's a really social evening. My kids count down the days until Halloween!

mummabubs · 30/10/2020 22:38

I might be in the minority but like some others here I also never went as a child (my parents' opinion was along the lines of it's like begging), but now I'm a parent I don't take DS for my own reasons - partly because I do subscribe to the begging idea, partly because I think it's a little bizarre to teach children not to take sweets from strangers but then openly encourage the opposite and partly that I feel we can still mark Halloween in our own way at home/with a party in non-covid times and that's fine. I'm fine with other people choosing to trick or treat but have always resented the idea that because I choose not to I'm either no fun or depriving my child. Neither of which I believe to be true.

I have to say as well that where we live despite not putting out any decorations or pumpkins etc for 7 years we get lots and lots of door knocks and bell ringing. Our dog became wound up so we've resorted to turning our doorbell and lights off but people will try the bell and then still knock!? Really makes me dread halloween night to be honest so I'm cherishing that this year we get a break from it.

FortniteBoysMum · 30/10/2020 22:50

Loved it as a kid. I offer my children the chance every year but they choose not too. They prefer dressing up and opening the door handing out sweets.

Vinomummyinlockdown · 31/10/2020 00:01

It’s American commercialised bull so I don’t agree with trick or treating and in our area it’s chavvy! I might decorate the house a bit and get our kids some sweets but they’re not going sweet begging!!
As for sleepovers .... also annoying and only don’t here on birthdays if must be and my kids hate other peoples sleepovers as it’s never as good as home.

Gancanny · 31/10/2020 00:05

RTFT

Spoiler: its not American.

vlnr77yac · 31/10/2020 01:05

OP I agree with you.

I see some have tried to paint you as a giant snob but its just your opinion and you're entitled to it. I wouldn't be sending my little one to people's houses for sleepovers either not if hell froze over. Not with all the pervs out there and some on MN

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 31/10/2020 01:18

@numberoneson don't dish it if you can't take it. Interesting that you have no comeback other than insults and yet accuse me of being a sad wee soul (how twee).

Noti23 · 31/10/2020 01:25

Oh, I see, you were that weird child with over-protective parents, who grew up anxious and now can’t stand other children enjoying the fun you missed out on in your own childhood? Because, let’s face it, supervised trick or treating in pre-Covid times is so dangerous??! Hmm

Mittens030869 · 31/10/2020 01:50

It’s really improved in recent years, with residents in our neighbourhood only knocking on doors where the house is decorated for Halloween and kids having a great time. It used to be an imposition which I didn’t like every year, especially before our DDs were with us.

Now our DDs love it. Tbh, it’s grown on me for that reason, it’s a way that our neighbourhood gets together. It’s kind of been a case of, ‘if you can’t beat them join them’.

My DDs are sad that trick and treating isn’t happening this year. But they’re looking forward to dressing up and have bought pumpkins.

PhilSwagielka · 31/10/2020 02:11

I only did trick or treat once as a child and that was on my road, a few families got together. All very harmless. I was five or so.

I only went to a couple of sleepovers but they were fun. My first one, we stayed up late and had a midnight feast. Nothing bad happened apart from us being knackered the next day. I’d have been 10-11.