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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

362 replies

teaandtoast49 · 29/10/2020 08:49

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

OP posts:

TheKeatingFive · 30/10/2020 19:45

It’s a really odd concept when you think about it

So are most traditions. Where does sitting on strange old men’s laps and asking for presents fit into your moral universe?

Angrywife · 30/10/2020 19:52

Trick or treat
"Give us a treat or we'll play a trick on you"
It's one step worse than begging, threats are thrown in to the mix.

It might not be like that now but its still kids going round to houses expecting to be given handfuls of sweets.
Not something I'll be encouraging my kids to do. Instead we have parties with friends, do some apple bobbing, make gingerbread, do other fun things, so no, they don't miss out and their childhood isn't boring because they're not allowed to go begging.

Angrywife · 30/10/2020 19:54

@TheKeatingFive

It’s a really odd concept when you think about it

So are most traditions. Where does sitting on strange old men’s laps and asking for presents fit into your moral universe?

Kids don't sit on Santa's lap anymore, safeguarding put pay to that. And they answer his question "what do you want for Christmas" they don't go to him saying gift me a gift.

maureen17 · 30/10/2020 19:59

I live in a road where the children post a letter saying they would like to trick and treat and if you were happy to participate please display this letter ... otherwise they would promise not to disturb ... not this year of course there is something already of course ! it's called covid19

Napqueen1234 · 30/10/2020 20:02

I really feel for some poor kids out there with the misery guts parents they have. No trick or treating no sleepovers no Father Christmas no fun. Let them be little! My kids adore it. We went on a distanced pumpkin finding hunt today with two friends and their mums. It was joyful to see DC with their friends again and they didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered about the change. Honestly those saying their kids don’t miss out- when all the other kids in school are talking about what a ball they had doing various things they WILL be missing out.

TheKeatingFive · 30/10/2020 20:06

Kids don't sit on Santa's lap anymore, safeguarding put pay to that. And they answer his question "what do you want for Christmas" they don't go to him saying gift me a gift.

Splitting hairs here, in fairness.

Children request gifts from strange old men. An extremely ‘odd concept’

Porcupineinwaiting · 30/10/2020 20:08

If you think Halloween is an odd concept wait til you hear about organised religion.

After 6 years at a CoE primary as a child Halloween seems totally normal.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/10/2020 20:08

Where I live everyone knows children can only knock where there is a lit pumpkin. Its stuck to.

I didn't do it as a child but we actually enjoy the hour from 6 til 7 or so atm, my son is rising four and enjoys dressing up in a skeleton suit to be like Funny Bones books, and he finds it hilarious answering the door to the dressed up kids.

I would never encourage my child to knock willy nilly on random peoples doors - here it really is welcomed, we know our neighbours and know which houses are families who are happy with it.

Ginger1982 · 30/10/2020 20:10

Trick or treat is stupid. We do guising up here and the kids are supposed to do a 'party piece' before getting anything. There's no implied threat involved.

MerchantOfVenom · 30/10/2020 20:12

Kids don't sit on Santa's lap anymore, safeguarding put pay to that. And they answer his question "what do you want for Christmas" they don't go to him saying gift me a gift.

You surely get the point being made, though?

JunoJigglewick · 30/10/2020 20:12

We never did trick or treat when I was young. My kids don't either.

We went guising. And my children do that now too. The difference is: you have to do a party piece in order to get a sweetie.

Porcupineinwaiting · 30/10/2020 20:15

That sounds nice Juno but I dont think I have it in me to listen to 40 or so party pieces of an evening. Are they very long?

derxa · 30/10/2020 20:17

@Porcupineinwaiting

That sounds nice Juno but I dont think I have it in me to listen to 40 or so party pieces of an evening. Are they very long?

What a misery

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 30/10/2020 20:19

We went round the doors in our costumes, did our party piece, got treats. Never did any "tricks" . I took my kids, they loved it! Only went to houses that showed they were up for it. Have since given countless sweets out to kids at Halloween. And we have had sleepovers and sent my kids on sleepovers,seems a normal part of growing up to me

Porcupineinwaiting · 30/10/2020 20:20

Absolutely. Happy to hand over the goods but please no singing.

TheKeatingFive · 30/10/2020 20:20

I’m Irish, so guising was never part of our Halloween, but I love the idea. I’d be delighted to hear the party pieces. 😍

YouKidsIsCrazy · 30/10/2020 20:22

It did exist when everyone here was young
It's not begging
It's not menacing or extortion or bribery or threatening
It's not risky or putting children in danger.

It's kids, having fun, and adults, creating fun. If you don't like it don't do it, but for the love of fuck chill out and stop talking utter shite about it!!

NoDramaMama14 · 30/10/2020 20:26

YANBU I find Halloween a sinister holiday. Apparently for one day a year strangers can be trusted as you encourage your child to eat something you did not buy for them?!? Wild...

Todayisadayfor · 30/10/2020 20:30

@AliceMcK, I think you have misinterpreted the stats here. I think you forget about all the millions of sleep overs where nobody is abused. And I think its more that people are abused by someone they know like a father or uncle or neighbour. Id say its rare that the father of a child someone is sleeping over with abuse but of course it has happened I'm sure. But Id also say its a hell of a lot rarer than you imagine.

Noitjustwontdo · 30/10/2020 20:33

YABU.

This year, sure it’s not a wise idea. Usually it’s just a bit of fun though. A lot of people in our area absolutely adore Halloween and really go to town with decorations, the children absolutely love it. People have still decorated including us but I’m hoping no one will be out this year for obvious reasons.

Noitjustwontdo · 30/10/2020 20:34

Oh and I’d never let them go trick or treating alone fwiw and they only go to decorated houses.

WoooooGhoulsDoAFlit · 30/10/2020 20:43

I love this thread. As many others have already pointed out we have it Every. Bloody. Year.
My absolute favourite comment has come from the poster who insisted that Halloween ‘didn’t exist’ when they were young.
Last year, when I was on this exact thread, I suggested that we should play MN Halloween bingo every year. A lovely poster obliged with a bingo card, (which I infuriatingly can’t find now). If my memory serves me correctly, squares included phrases like, ‘It’s an American import’ ‘It’s begging’ and ‘It’s dabbling in the occult’. Super to see that all of those have come up yet again.

SueEllenMishke · 30/10/2020 20:47

YANBU I find Halloween a sinister holiday. Apparently for one day a year strangers can be trusted as you encourage your child to eat something you did not buy for them?!? Wild...

Do you honestly think people are giving out poisonous sweets?

TheKeatingFive · 30/10/2020 20:50

I mean, it’s mostly bags of haribo. Think of the effort you’d have to go to to poison those.

Bummsbet · 30/10/2020 21:02

I love Halloween! I love decorating the house, i love Halloween parties and spooky fancy dress. That's fun! I absolutely hate trick or treaters! It is not fun to be terrorised in you own home by children and adults a like! The adults are usually worse than the kids. We have had our house egged several years in a row. People banging on our door and windows when we don't answer and it is highly unpleasant and distressing for our small children and pets. I don't decorate outside so I am not giving them and invite to knock. You can have fun at Halloween without begging and terrorising people!

It's all well and good people saying they only got to decorated houses but that is not the case everywhere!

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