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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why parents allow their children to go trick or treating?

362 replies

teaandtoast49 · 29/10/2020 08:49

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.

OP posts:
lazylinguist · 29/10/2020 21:40

which is why I don’t walk round with my head buried in the sand and would rather be called paranoid than risk my children’s safety

But do you really think that your choice of paranoia over risk has no negative effects on your children? Your children are unlikely to be abused, but they are almost certain to be affected by your attitude to other people.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 29/10/2020 21:43

@AmICrazyorWhat2 not just MN. I sometimes do a count of "Give halloween back to america" on facebook groups 😁
I know few americans. Nice people

lazylinguist · 29/10/2020 21:45

I agree 100%. I hate it it's begging to me. I
Was never allowed to do it and I will never allow my child to do it. You wouldn't take your child round knocking on strangers doors asking for sweets or money any other night (I assume), so why is it okay on Halloween?

Hmm Because the people who give out sweets have chosen to participate. How is it begging if the homeowner has bought sweets for the purpose of giving them to trick-or-treaters and put a pumpkin or other decorations outside to show that they want to do so?

Holyrivolli · 29/10/2020 22:09

Wow. This is a real insight into how bat shit crazy, paranoid and joyless some people can be. Feel sorry for the young kids that are banned from doing it as their parents think that some random at no 34 is going to molest them whilst they stand on the doorstep telling a why did the chicken cross the road joke or think that they’re begging - wtf how Hyacinth Bucket is that.

Now my kids are teenagers they not interested in it but it brought them such pleasure when they were younger. We only went to houses which had decorations up. I didn’t particularly enjoy standing in the hall listening to loads of shitty jokes from kids dressed up but I did it because the kids taking part absolutely loved it. As we lived in a family friendly area we’d get at least 100 kids at the door over the evening and it was lovely seeing them grow up as the years went by.

Suzi888 · 29/10/2020 22:12

YANBU I have a child, I also have elderly family —it’s a total pain in the butt. Why people think it’s acceptable is utterly beyond me.

lazylinguist · 29/10/2020 22:22

YANBU I have a child, I also have elderly family —it’s a total pain in the butt. Why people think it’s acceptable is utterly beyond me.

Almost everybody has or has had elderly family. The majority don't seem to agree with you.

BeautifulWar · 29/10/2020 22:34

Sorry, I think you're a killjoy on the Halloween front.

People decorate their houses to let kids know that they're game, so they don't bother people who don't want to take part. I've only ever had children knock with an accompanying adult. I didn't grow up with trick or treating either, but I think it's great fun. I love seeing the kids' all dressed up and so excited.

My daughter is too young for sleepovers and I don't know how I'd feel about them to be honest - I hadn't given it any thought. Seeing people's comments on child abuse here though has made me question whether I'd be happy with it. I didn't go on many as a young child because I didn't like overnights in other people's houses, other than my grandparents' and my aunts' - I never felt comfortable and always wished I were at home.

EmeraldShamrock · 30/10/2020 02:04

The DC here don't preform or do tricks. I might insist on some next year.
It is a choir of voices with either "Happy Halloween" or "Help the Halloween party" as a DC in the 80's it was mainly fruit, Dsis was given a potato disguised as an apple by one neighbour, she'd obviously ran out of apples and thought quick. We still laugh about it.

Elsewyre · 30/10/2020 04:25

@teaandtoast49

Even disregarding the current coronavirus situation, I have always found myself disagreeing with the concept of allowing children to go trick or treating, as well as Halloween in general. My dp is slightly more relaxed about this, so am I just being ridiculous? I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child, go to sleepovers, etc. and while I understand now that my parents probably were in the right, I would love to gauge the opinions on MN about it.
You've kind of answered your own question.

You weren't allowed to and now you have an irrational fear of it.

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 30/10/2020 17:33

I’m kind of with you about ToT regardless of this climate but sleepovers is another thing (preCovid)
As long as you kno the parents well there shouldn’t be a problem

Some people I know are going on a pumpkin plod
Kids get dressed up and for every pumpkin they spot they get a treat

MiaMarshmallows · 30/10/2020 17:38

DP and I threw a party for his DD who is 10. No trick or treating.
We just wanted to make it nice for her so we all dressed up, played Halloween songs and had a dance and lots of fun!

Annie2245 · 30/10/2020 17:55

You are being unreasonable, not because you don’t allow your children to go trick or treating, but because people parent differently everyone celebrates different holidays.
While people are saying don’t go because of Covid I do wonder about more elderly people who buy sweets and love interacting with parents and children for Halloween may be the only people they see for months.
It’s just a thought and personally I have never taken or allowed my children to go out. Sometimes they have had friends over and decorated the living room, carved pumpkins spooky films and spooky treats with a sleepover. I have not allowed them to go to a sleepover though unless I know they won’t be trick or treating.

Hmm1234 · 30/10/2020 17:58

Too risky nowadays I’m always confused by the children that are allowed trick or treating without an adult companion

DBML · 30/10/2020 18:03

I wasn’t allowed to go trick or treating as a child either op and as a result my DS has never been door to door trick or treating. However, we all LOVE Halloween in our house, so on a normal year we’d jet off to America, where they really go to town on Halloween and put on lots of fun events!
I don’t enjoy sitting in the house waiting for people to knock my door either to be honest, so either way this year is looking pants for us 😞

ElvinBoys · 30/10/2020 18:08

I wasn’t allowed as a child either and neither of my children have ever been trick or treating. I don’t understand the idea of basically begging at houses for sweets.

Theoldwrinkley · 30/10/2020 18:08

Trick or treating is just blackmail, or extortion. ‘Give me something or I’ll harm you or your property’. Not nice. Not good to encourage. American import. And shops etc it’s just another money-making enterprise.

Badhairday101 · 30/10/2020 18:10

My children love trick or treating, most of the road decorate their houses and they only knock at those. I buy sweets for the trick or treaters and enjoy seeing the kids have fun.
Some of my best childhood memories are sleepovers. At one point probably aged between 11-14 we either slept over at friends or they slept over at our house every weekend. Such fun times!
Friends also came on holiday with us and we all played out after school and had tea in each other’s houses. I understand that families are all different but I’m glad that mine weren’t insular. I have amazing memories of my childhood, so I try and do the same for my children now.

JingleCatJingle · 30/10/2020 18:14

We trick or treat (but not this year). Halloween is actually a holiday that originated in Ireland. They really go to town on it in Derry and have fantastic parades etc (but not this year).
If you don’t like it, don’t do it, but there’s no reason to make a cat bum face at every one else who does enjoy it.

TheKeatingFive · 30/10/2020 18:19

Trick or treating is just blackmail, or extortion. ‘Give me something or I’ll harm you or your property’. Not nice. Not good to encourage. American import.

Ding, ding, ding we have a winner.

Sunnymummy77 · 30/10/2020 18:19

Yabu. It’s fun and a parent can go with the kids so it’s safe. What’s the harm?

Also what’s the problem with sleepovers?

TheKeatingFive · 30/10/2020 18:22

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween

For all the proud ignoramuses.

Education is a wonderful thing.

Crummyfunnymummy · 30/10/2020 18:23

I HATE (and have known to become quite cross about) people not liking it because it is American. What’s wrong with American?! My dad seems to despise all things American and I have met a few people like this. It drives me mad! I’m trying to teach my children tolerance of all nations. And saying you don’t like something simply because it’s American really grates on me! Angry

TheKeatingFive · 30/10/2020 18:26

The anti-Americanism on here is something else.

bellocchild · 30/10/2020 18:26

Our young-parent neighbours have come round today, asked if we will be in on Saturday and willing to be called on at 5.30, and handed over two tiny packets of sweets for us to give their DC. Of course we will! We had actually laid in some individual packets of chocolate frogs anyway...

Grace58 · 30/10/2020 18:26

YABU! I love taking the kids out trick or treating, we only knock at houses with decorations up and it’s really fun for the kids. We live in an estate that I expect most of MN would be quite snobby about, but lots of our neighbours go all out with decorations and it’s a really nice atmosphere! Kids love it. We’re not going this year because of covid, I took the kids for a walk around the block to see all the pumpkins and decorations earlier and it’s just as OTT as ever, loads of fake cobwebs in hedges, displays in windows and tacky projectors on houses - all great fun!