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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL has given us a massive picture I really don’t like

204 replies

BillyButterfly · 27/10/2020 19:19

More of a what would you do? Moved into our new home. MIL has bought a massive (truly massive- think full wall) picture which is really not my taste as a gift. Not sure tbh if she has deliberately given it knowing I would hate it but feel compelled to display it. Using the excuse that we are decorating at the moment but she keeps asking where we will be putting it. She is the type to be really difficult if I told the truth. Would I be unreasonable to accidentally break it?

OP posts:
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6
SBTLove · 27/10/2020 19:21

Is it brand new? I’d tell your DH to ask his mother for the receipt as it’s not to your taste.

Diverseduvet · 27/10/2020 19:23

Please just thank her for the gift but say you dont like it. DO NOT give it house room.

DimidDavilby · 27/10/2020 19:24

What if she just replaces it. You have to bite the bullet and tell her “it's lovely but not to our taste". Be a wuss and make your DH do it.

speakout · 27/10/2020 19:24

It's up to your OH to deal with this one.

katy1213 · 27/10/2020 19:25

That's such an unreasonable gift that you wouldn't be at all unreasonable to say you hate it. I wouldn't have allowed it into the house in the first place.

BigBigPumpkin · 27/10/2020 19:26

I'd just keep avoiding the question and saying we're struggling to find somewhere it goes well. MIL keeps threatening to give us cross stitch samplers and they will just be stuffed into a box until the end of time in all likelihood.

katy1213 · 27/10/2020 19:26

But we need to see it! I'm thinking along the lines of Hilda Ogden's 'muriel".

BessMarvin · 27/10/2020 19:27

Why would someone do this? (mil not you) Art is going to be personal taste.

Goosefoot · 27/10/2020 19:27

Your husband needs to tell his mum he doesn't like it.

HeronLanyon · 27/10/2020 19:28

Even if it was something you liked what a presumptuous thing to present you with. I’d just say you don’t have wall room for something so big. because you have things already to put up.

gabsdot45 · 27/10/2020 19:28

Why do people do this. Its the height of rudeness IMO.
MIL made us a clock with all our names on it a few years ago. I felt obligated to hang it but I didn't like it. We look it down to repaint during the summer and it didn't go back up. DH wouldn't let me throw it out so its in tje attic.

Metroland · 27/10/2020 19:29

Given it's so large, as you say, wall size, please don't feel under obligation to display this. Even if it's a well meant gift it's quite arrogant to impose your taste on someone else, without checking with them first given it will be such a dominant feature.

Appreciate it will be uncomfortable to explain but as you think it may be a deliberate move which makes you uncomfortable anyway, share that discomfort back with your MIL maybe?

Level75 · 27/10/2020 19:30

Please show us!

I agree your DH needs to send it back. Alternatively if you have a garage you could hang it in there.

AhoyMeFarties · 27/10/2020 19:31

It's really rude to buy something large for someone else's house without them choosing it
I'd say its not to your taste, and hand it back
Just say thank you for the thought

ScrapThatThen · 27/10/2020 19:31

Just keep saying 'we can't find a space where it will work' and shaking your head sadly. If she suggests somewhere 'no, that room is going to be a different style unfortunately' or 'ive got the artwork for there already figured out'. And then eventually, oh dear, I'm afraid it might be a bit of a white elephant, what shall we do?Your gift was so generous'.

CalmdownJanet · 27/10/2020 19:32

This is one for your oh "Eh ya thanks mam, it was a nice thought but it's not to our taste, you are welcome to it for your house if you like but it's not going up in ours. Anyway we want to pick things like that ourselves, I'm sure you understand". You step away and let him deal with this one

nibdedibble · 27/10/2020 19:32

Agree this is very firmly your DH’s responsibility and he should know how to at least try to handle it.

My MIL once gave dh a picture - not huge and not expensive - that was hideous and he very tactfully got her to take it back and he chose something from the same small gallery. Could that be an option, a ‘can we choose something that’s perhaps not as big?’ mollifier?

NoSquirrels · 27/10/2020 19:33

How big? Too big for the utility room or the toilet?

I think your DH has to take point on this a d deal with it. If he won’t, you have a bigger problem...

winewolfhowls · 27/10/2020 19:34

Bet its haunted, ghost busters stylee

NoSquirrels · 27/10/2020 19:34

Can we see it?

Perhaps it’s an original and worth something...?

WeeMadArthur · 27/10/2020 19:35

Do you have a garage? I’m sure the car would appreciate something nice to look at...

FizzyPink · 27/10/2020 19:35

You need to nip this in the bud right now or it will continue. Mine is a hoarder and is just addicted to buying stuff. Now that she has no more space she buys it for our house instead.

We have been gifted a giant framed picture of a skull Shock and another that we’ve managed to give away but she keeps asking about. Fortunately DP has learnt to be strict about it as he hates tat and clutter but she’s forever trying to give us truly awful bits and bobs

Avacadoandtoast · 27/10/2020 19:36

Please show us!!

giletrouge · 27/10/2020 19:36

WALL SIZE!
Fuck me, that's passive aggressive on her part! She's saying "I want your attention at all times, even when I'm a million miles away."
You have to show us this not-to-your-taste picture OP!

64sNewName · 27/10/2020 19:36

Oh god, nightmare.

People who are rude in this way are also, often, completely oblivious and certain that you are the rude one for not being grateful, and it can be super awkward.

Please describe it for us 🙏

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