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Original poster

MIL has given us a massive picture I really don’t like

204 replies

BillyButterfly · 27/10/2020 19:19

More of a what would you do? Moved into our new home. MIL has bought a massive (truly massive- think full wall) picture which is really not my taste as a gift. Not sure tbh if she has deliberately given it knowing I would hate it but feel compelled to display it. Using the excuse that we are decorating at the moment but she keeps asking where we will be putting it. She is the type to be really difficult if I told the truth. Would I be unreasonable to accidentally break it?

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Toothsil · 27/10/2020 23:52

My MIL gave us a mirror she no longer wanted, when I had mentioned getting a mirror for the dining room....it's the most hideous old fashioned thing but I didn't want to hurt her feelings! It's currently standing behind the chest of drawers in our room. It won't be an issue until Christmas, if we are allowed people in the house by then!

Audreyseyebrows · 27/10/2020 23:56

Hang it back to front and call it abstract or put it up in the garden for the birds to enjoy.

Make sure you buy her something hideous for Christmas.

CommanderBurnham · 27/10/2020 23:58

Put it up in the garage?

SingingSands · 28/10/2020 00:52

SIL once gifted us a charity calendar at Christmas, for a dog charity that she works for. It was one of those^ cheeky naked "calendar girl"^ style calendars, with strategically placed umbrellas etc. Yes, SIL was in it. More than once.

DH couldn't even bring himself to look at it, never mind have it hanging up in the house. I mean... it was his sister... naked. ConfusedShock

PegLegAntoine · 28/10/2020 01:01

It quickly stopped when i gifted her a beautiful 4ft plastic gnome dressed as a mermaid.

You are an actual goddess. That. Is. Amazing. 🤣

1forAll74 · 28/10/2020 01:36

I would have to be truthful, and say that I didn't like the picture, and I would not display it. If people. family or not, don't realise that artwork is personal to people. it's just too bad, full stop.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 28/10/2020 05:02

Your husband needs to tell his mum he doesn't like it

This as the easiest and she obviously won't hate him.

Marshmallow91 · 28/10/2020 05:19

I think honesty is the best policy.

But failing that, gift her some terrifying antique taxidermy freestanding bear for Christmas 😬

HeronLanyon · 28/10/2020 05:35

I think you should both tell her not have it be your dh alone. If he were to explain it would sound as though you didn’t like it but didn’t or wouldn’t say so - setting up an odd dynamic between the two of you possibly. On phone where both of you thank her and explain ?

I may have been major contributor to the ‘damaging it’ side of things - mine was a joke based on staircase idea I had image of a fall from a height. Wouldn’t recommend that at all. You both need to thank her and explain and get rid. It sounds awful although perhaps doable in some office. / entry lobby area of some large commercial building !!

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/10/2020 06:09

It sounds way too large for your house. And obviously not to your taste. What I’m not getting is, is it a print or and original? Canvas etc? Just return it with a thanks but no thanks otherwise you will be having this confrontation at a later date when it will be too late for her to return it.

S00LA · 28/10/2020 06:17

@CalmdownJanet

This is one for your oh "Eh ya thanks mam, it was a nice thought but it's not to our taste, you are welcome to it for your house if you like but it's not going up in ours. Anyway we want to pick things like that ourselves, I'm sure you understand". You step away and let him deal with this one
This.
LostAcre · 28/10/2020 09:37

@CalmdownJanet

This is one for your oh "Eh ya thanks mam, it was a nice thought but it's not to our taste, you are welcome to it for your house if you like but it's not going up in ours. Anyway we want to pick things like that ourselves, I'm sure you understand". You step away and let him deal with this one
^ this.

I know it’s awkward, but honesty’s the best policy here. Accidentally breaking it might be tempting, but firstly, she might have spent a lot of money on it, and secondly, if she actually believes you like it and the breakage was a genuine accident - she may just get you a similar replacement.

Lsquiggles · 28/10/2020 09:50

I'd just say you have specific themes in mind for your rooms and it's not your style but thanks for the thought! It doesn't need to be a drama, I'd definitely be getting your dh to tell her though Grin

Brainwave89 · 28/10/2020 10:14

I think it is quite passive aggressive to expect you to put up a picture of her choice in your house. Fine if she had kept the receipt and allowed you to return it, but I see problems ahead unless you are firm here. I would thank her for her kind gift, but be clear that at the moment you do not think you have an appropriate space for the picture. If you do not, I suspect you will see an increasing number of liberties taken as time progresses.

Eddie16 · 28/10/2020 10:59

My Mils taste is questionable, I'm dreading the day when it comes to a house clearance.
Not only has she got bed linen that is over 40 years old and is a bit of a hoarder, she also has a collection of plates with whimsical nymphs and fairies that you get in the back of the paper supplements on the weekend, not my taste at all and will be finding a new home in a charity shop as I suspect she will give them to me,having stupidly said how lovely they were as I was trying to be polite 🤷‍♀️🤥

RandomMess · 28/10/2020 12:40

As she keeps asking I would say

"Oh we hung it, looks awful doesn't work with our style at all. Would you like it back for yours, much more your sort of thing?"

You do need her to be told you don't like it else she will keep in in the same manner with her gifts...

Gbtch · 28/10/2020 17:35

Put it up in a spare room? Especially if it’s a room she stays in when visiting

jwpetal · 28/10/2020 17:38

Have you OH speak to her. Don't put it out if you don't like it. I haven't seen a photo of it, but also stop and think if you don't like it because of who gave it to you or some underlying anti MIL thing, I am not saying you have that but looking back I know I reacted strongly because I though my MIL was usurping my home and plans. In reality, the gift is given with love. Just a thought

Celestine70 · 28/10/2020 17:52

Your husband should tell her HE doesn't like it.

FelicisNox · 28/10/2020 18:00

YANBU.

Your DH needs to grown a pair and deal with this, just tell him to tell her it's very kind but too large for the house and could we exchange it for something more appropriate? She can hardly say no and if she digs her heels in then you need to grow a pair and repeat: it's very kind of you but it really is much too large. It's either exchanged for something smaller or it will remain in it's wrapping.

Smile, shrug, walk away. Then stick to it.

I agree that her behaviour is bordering on passive aggressive and it needs nipping in the bud or it won't end there.

Anele22 · 28/10/2020 18:01

Thank you so much for the lovely gift. It’s so generous of you and I know you must have gone to lots of trouble to find it. Unfortunately though we just won’t have anywhere to put it. Do you want to keep it yourself. Or return it if you can and maybe we can choose something small when we’re more sorted in the house.

KiposWonderbeasts · 28/10/2020 18:03

Just tell her it was a very kind gift and you really appreciate her thoughtfulness. It was a generous gift but it really doesn’t work for you.
Can you return it and choose something more to your and DH’d taste, or would she like it herself.
Again, so good of her and art is such a personal thing.

EssexGirl101 · 28/10/2020 18:04

Ugh! I have a MiL the same. She insists on buying us the most useless/tasteless/bulky gifts. I swear she thinks we have as secret west wing to store all the junk in.
We decided on a Christmas list to circulate to families back in August as we've a new baby due very soon and have been de-cluttering like demons to make room. Also to avoid more junk, and aim for meaningful/useful things rather than stuff which will just go straight to charity. Mentioned to my parents & SIL in Sept and they've decided what bits they're getting, but before we had a chance to speak to MiL she announced weeks ago she's done all her Christmas shopping already, so god only knows what we're in for!
I hate her wasting money on rubbish, but shes the hide of a rhino!!

AlwaysLatte · 28/10/2020 18:12

Get another picture or wall hanging fixed the other side and turn it round when she comes.

Bluntness100 · 28/10/2020 18:16

Is it one of those massive IKEA canvas things? I think there is two options

Either you display it or your husband tells her.

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