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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL has given us a massive picture I really don’t like

204 replies

BillyButterfly · 27/10/2020 19:19

More of a what would you do? Moved into our new home. MIL has bought a massive (truly massive- think full wall) picture which is really not my taste as a gift. Not sure tbh if she has deliberately given it knowing I would hate it but feel compelled to display it. Using the excuse that we are decorating at the moment but she keeps asking where we will be putting it. She is the type to be really difficult if I told the truth. Would I be unreasonable to accidentally break it?

OP posts:
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6
Sunshineboo · 27/10/2020 20:50

You will not even!

laidbacklife · 27/10/2020 20:53

Leave it at hers!!!!

bridgetreilly · 27/10/2020 20:53

“It’s really kind, MIL, but we actually have other plans for the walls and are so looking forward to being able to choose everything we really love in our new house. But wouldn’t it look great in your sitting room?”

OrangeBananaFish · 27/10/2020 20:55

MIL gave us a calendar once. Full of pictures of extended family that we don't really see for anything other than the odd wedding or funeral. Luckily she never visits us so it didn't go up.

Definitely need to get DH to mention it.

Osirus · 27/10/2020 21:09

I voted YABU to your question - YWBU to deliberately break it.

YANBU to hate it though. It was a very thoughtless gift - you’ll either have to be honest or hide it away. If you hang it it will just piss you off.

MrsBobDylan · 27/10/2020 21:26

Oh my God, a family oil painting, unposed...hilarious! It has reminded me of an oil painting a friend had done of her baby. The artist used lots of peachy, brown colours and the baby just looked like very alien blob of jelly in it.

diddl · 27/10/2020 21:33

I quite like the sound of it-could it be accidentally posted to Germany?Grin

I think best thing give it back as she obvs likes it but you'd rather choose your own?

LizB62A · 27/10/2020 21:33

I voted YABU because even if you ruin it, you're not dealing with the real problem which will just get worse!

marveloustimeruiningeverything · 27/10/2020 21:34

Your DH needs to drive it back to her house and tell her it's not to your (both of you!) style but since she loves it so much, he knew she'd want to display it in her own home.

Mokusspokus · 27/10/2020 21:43

Hilarious. Unless she's very sweet and sometime misguided, it's a territory marker... As some one else said.

It's her sons home and she's helping him decorate, you're annoyingly in the way.

WhatWouldChristineCagneyDo · 27/10/2020 21:43

Let the kids paint over it & feign ignorance, tell her that you can't believe she found such a big canvas & they are usually so expensive, imagine finding that hideous thing in a charity shop! The kids have had a whale of a time covering it in handprints and smiley faces......

Mokusspokus · 27/10/2020 21:45

Thanks Mil, I've never appreciated how good a room looks with large art in.. It Got me thinking about this peice I wanted to gift you.. It's quite large.. Clear drive for the low loader.. Coming Tuesday and two men will help place it, enjoy!

MJMG2015 · 27/10/2020 21:47

@CalmdownJanet

This is one for your oh "Eh ya thanks mam, it was a nice thought but it's not to our taste, you are welcome to it for your house if you like but it's not going up in ours. Anyway we want to pick things like that ourselves, I'm sure you understand". You step away and let him deal with this one
Send CalmdownJanet around with it!!

She has been incredibly rude, you need to make it clear it's YOUR house & YOU will be choosing the decor, not her. She sounds like a dig peeing up a lamppost.

category12 · 27/10/2020 21:48

You say - "MIL, it's lovely, thank you so much, but we've had a think and it really doesn't fit with what we're intending to do decor-wise, so we're giving it to [charity shop] unless you would like it back."

ekidmxcl · 27/10/2020 21:52

It depends on whether your MIL is a kind person who tried to get you something nice, whether she is a well meaning but (not very aware) type of person who got you something she likes or whether she is not very nice.

Probably it's one of the first two, in which case you thank her, tell her it was nice of her to think of you but it is too overpowering for your cottage. And try to make arrangements for her to get a refund.

If she's not a nice person, just tell her you don't like it and she needs to come and get it back.

Snugglepumpkin · 27/10/2020 21:53

Do it now or suffer for decades.

I had to share a house with a 6 foot by 4 foot amateur oil painters (relative of my ex) badly done rendition of a real place where lumps of shit were daubed on the outside of the houses.
It was literally a shit picture of shit.

It was over 20 years until my ex became my ex & no matter what I did to make the rest of the house nicer, no matter where we lived that bloody picture had to be the centre of the main room in the house.

Guess what, it can get worse.
People saw it & bought gifts that would 'go with it' because they saw that monstrosity & thought that must be the sort of thing I liked.

I managed to fend off the painting (same artist) of the cows being slaughtered in some old empty swimming pool in an open air market but it was a close thing.
The 'artist' was surprised I didn't want it because after all, we had the first one hanging up for years.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/10/2020 21:55

Is this it? If so, I can see her thinking - any less than 8x10 feet just doesn't do the colour nuancing justice at all.

Birdsong111 · 27/10/2020 22:07

I wouldn’t break it it but she has definitely crossed a boundary. Do you get on with her? Is there any chance she could have done this to cause upset and try and assert herself over you? I think both you and your DH need to put on a united front and be honest and up front with her. Thank her for the gesture but make it clear that it won’t be going up - perhaps she’d like it for her home - you can always offer to help her put it up! Your home is your personal space and what she’s done is completely ridiculous.

nevermorelenore · 27/10/2020 22:10

Thank her by treating her to something truly awful. A quick search on Etsy for 'clown painting' should do the trick. Or get a copy of her key and 'surprise' her by letting some local art students paint a mural.

Whiskas1Kittens · 27/10/2020 22:13

I always find that in these old houses you cannot hang a picture up. The wools are rock solid and you can't manage to drill a hole ;-)

RandomMess · 27/10/2020 22:14

Who on Earth would buy anyone else a large picture unasked for??

Taste is far too personal!

I would just say it's not your taste and would she like it for her house?

SandyY2K · 27/10/2020 22:18

I was going to suggest an accidental break. Unfortunately I've been in your position, but in my case its been 4 pictures.

It's previously caused arguments between DH and I.

One has been relegated to a cupboard...one in the kitchen. .one met an untimely death Grin and one will meet the same fate soon....I'm just planning how best to make it happen and not have me implicated.

If any inlaws are reading this...please do not buy these gifts for your married/coupled children.

Genevieva · 27/10/2020 22:19

I thought it was going to be some family heirloom, but if she has bought it without consulting you then she is bang out of order. Say you want to swap it because it is too big and ask for the receipt.

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