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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL has given us a massive picture I really don’t like

204 replies

BillyButterfly · 27/10/2020 19:19

More of a what would you do? Moved into our new home. MIL has bought a massive (truly massive- think full wall) picture which is really not my taste as a gift. Not sure tbh if she has deliberately given it knowing I would hate it but feel compelled to display it. Using the excuse that we are decorating at the moment but she keeps asking where we will be putting it. She is the type to be really difficult if I told the truth. Would I be unreasonable to accidentally break it?

OP posts:

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clary · 27/10/2020 19:36

Anyone else thinking Penny's picture inThe Big Bang Theory?

I agree op, it's rude of her. Small photo in a frame, fine. Huge picture which you may not like, no. I would only buy someone art I knew they loved.

64sNewName · 27/10/2020 19:37

Who on earth is saying YABU?

Goosefoot · 27/10/2020 19:38

@Turnedouttoes

You need to nip this in the bud right now or it will continue. Mine is a hoarder and is just addicted to buying stuff. Now that she has no more space she buys it for our house instead.

We have been gifted a giant framed picture of a skull and another that we’ve managed to give away but she keeps asking about. Fortunately DP has learnt to be strict about it as he hates tat and clutter but she’s forever trying to give us truly awful bits and bobs

Art is fraught. We had a relative give us a sculpture made of wax, supposedly an orchid, but instead it looked like a very large green penis.

gamerchick · 27/10/2020 19:38

I kind of need to see this massive picture.

Let her be difficult, it's your house! Better still, tell your bloke to sort it out.

SavoyCabbage · 27/10/2020 19:38

Anyone else thinking Penny's picture inThe Big Bang Theory?
That was my first thought!

I'm in need of an enormous picture. I have an enormous blank wall.

ForeverRedSkinhead · 27/10/2020 19:38

@clary I am!
Show us the picture op!

anon444877 · 27/10/2020 19:39

Ooof my parents have on occasion done things like this - I'm guessing a picture that size was expensive, your dh needs to deal with it. I'd suggest saying he thinks it is wrong size for the space rather than a direct criticism of the picture itself.

Alternatively say that you really appreciate the gesture but for that much money what you'd really love is (washing machine etc).

gamerchick · 27/10/2020 19:39

Art is fraught. We had a relative give us a sculpture made of wax, supposedly an orchid, but instead it looked like a very large green penis

See, that would have pride of place in the toilet area. Something to make people chuckle

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 27/10/2020 19:40

I find art such a bizarre gift.

I think you need to ask dh to tell her it's not something that'll work in the house. Honesty is best here, because otherwise you're stuck with something on display you really don't want.

Also, another ask to PLEASE see it.

MrsBobDylan · 27/10/2020 19:41

Pleeeeeeease show us the picture op!

Just tell her that it doesn't look right with the rest of your stuff so you want to swap it for another picture please. Bet she picked it up at a boot sale for 50p!

keepgoingorstop · 27/10/2020 19:41

Wtf how can anyone give art as a gift ? It's so personal!

LouisLitt · 27/10/2020 19:42

This is for your husband to deal with

Bluetrews25 · 27/10/2020 19:42

If you don't show us, it didn't happen.

MrsBobDylan · 27/10/2020 19:42

You could give her cushions with your face in op, they always make a welcome gift.

sunflowershine · 27/10/2020 19:43

Why do people do this? I remember years ago when DH and I bought out first house the following Christmas his sister and brother in law gave us a massive picture for our gift. She is something of a photography hobbyist, and she'd taken a picture of a random forest and lake on their travelling experience holiday abroad, had it blown up (to a3 sort of size!) and stick it in a basic IKEA frame

Just totally not out sort of thing and didn't go with our decor at all. Luckily they don't visit often as they don't live close by so it never had to go up but worse she's given his mum and dad an identical gift and his mum kept asking me where it was! 'Oh Sharon not her real name is such a talented artist and photographer, where's the beautiful picture she gave you?'. Er, down the side of the wardrobe in the spare room!

Something wall size I'd feel comfortable saying thank you for the lovely gift but sorry, it's too big can we exchange and choose something more suitable for our home please.

Pieceofpurplesky · 27/10/2020 19:43

My ex bil is a little naive in the world of anything arty. He bought me a picture that he thought was lovely and colourful, knowing I like quite wild and bright stuff.

It was a beautiful purple vulva.

MrsBobDylan · 27/10/2020 19:43

Face ON, face in would be creepy...

wejammin · 27/10/2020 19:44

YADNBU OP. I have a MIL with the same affliction. We moved house last year and she bought us a plaque for the front of the house, engraved with the street name and house number (so not exchangeable) and it's vile, really old fashioned and twee. She occasionally asks about when it's going up and it's getting awkward now.

She also buys us duvet covers in awful patterns. We were very grateful when we were broke students but that was 15 years ago.

sunflowershine · 27/10/2020 19:44

@Bluetrews25

If you don't show us, it didn't happen.

Now mind the picture on that wall, it's large and was expensive don't you know!

Thehop · 27/10/2020 19:45

@Pieceofpurplesky that’s bloody brilliant

Messagetoyoucassie · 27/10/2020 19:45

I don't understand why people do this - force their personal taste onto others. Tell her you don't like it OP. Be polite, thank her but just say it doesn't fit with your colour scheme or something. I hate a cousin (now thankfully, estranged from 😂)) who used to do this to me. She had really dull taste in home decor and used to try and force stuff she didn't need anymore onto me. Hideous.
I think I ended up using the frame actually as that wasn't too bad and she got the hint when she seen it with another print in it. You need to be firm or she will buy you all manner of nonsense.

Horehound · 27/10/2020 19:47

I think you just have to say it is not to your taste and thank her for the idea but would she like to keep it herself or return it

The longer you leave it the worse it will be. And I'd be getting DH to do the delivering of that talk lol.

Nomorepies · 27/10/2020 19:50

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

Junjulaug · 27/10/2020 19:51

If you are decorating can 't you just spill a pot of paint over it?

I have a MIL who kept buying me gifts of stuff that I hated - horrible duvet covers, clothes usually 3 sizes too big, table clothes. I started buying her the same things back, only completely in my taste. It killed me to spend money on gifts that I knew she would hate but it only took 1 birthday and 2 christmases for her to get the message. She rarely buys me anything now.

Original poster

BillyButterfly · 27/10/2020 19:51

Thank you all for making me feel better. It’s wrapped up at the minute to protect it from stray paint how to describe it ...- think Blackpool illuminations golden mile in a abstract style! We live in an old cottage. I wasn’t quick enough when she gave it to tell the truth because I was so taken aback by it. Dh doesn’t like it either but doesn’t want to offend her. I might let the paint tin slip when decorating

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