To defer my Summer born daughter’s school start date?

[ThornAmongstRoses]

I have a daughter who should be starting school next September but she will have only turned 4 about a week before the start date.

For the last few months I have seriously been thinking about delaying her starting until the following year when she will have just turned 5.

I have done so much reading up around the subject and it’s quite clear that statistically (because I know there will always be exceptions) starting school after just turning 4 can be very detrimental to their education and achievements through their schooling compared to Autumn, Winter and Spring borns.

My husband is a teacher and is absolutely on board with the deferral.

I mentioned it to my brother a few days ago as his child is summer born (a year behind mine) and he totally laughed me off.

He said it was a pointless thing to do and if the younger kids struggle then it’s down to the parents to do more at home with them.

It was a bit of a black and white attitude I thought.

I told him that if it was as simple as doing some work at home to get the Summer borns to the same level as their peers, then there wouldn’t be so much information out there about the disparities between Summer borns and other children.

I’m not being unreasonable to consider this though am I?

I do understand there will always be exceptions and there will be many stories abouthigh achieving Summer born children, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that overall, Summer Born children do fare worse at school if they start when they have just turned four years old.

My brother has made me doubt myself

Is your husband a primary teacher or a secondary teacher?

Due to the nature of the school he works at, he teaches between Year 3 to Year 13.

Remember, Reception is play-based learning and therefore a lovely gentle easing-in to a formal school environment. If you defer, does your daughter go straight into Year One? If so, I definitely would not defer at all.

No, she will enter at Reception year.

I’ve spoken to my husband and we plan to ring the LEA over the next few days to clarify what happens when it comes to the move from Primary/Junior, up to Secondary and take it from there.

This thread has been so though provoking - it’s really helping me get a balanced view so thanks to everyone for your thoughts and advice

I would do what you feel comfortable with. However, I wouldn't underestimate the importance of friendship groups and moving up from nursery with her little peers.

She doesn’t go to Nursery/Pre-school so no matter what year she starts she won’t be going alongside children she knows. This makes me worry even more to be honest about starting so young; not only will she have to cope with the academic work/expectations, but nor will she know anyone. It’s a lot to cope with for someone just turned four.

I agree with PP who said you need to look at education as a whole. Had it been an option I would absolutely have deferred 1 of mine as I really didn't think he was ready. However he's now 16 and I'm so glad I didn't have the option. The stage he's at with his life/peers etc is so much more appropriate for year 12 than 11, and academically he's done fine

I would have deferred my very late August DC if the option had been available.

It would have absolutely been the wrong thing to do.
For them, being in a class with children nearly a year older encouraged friendships, bought out a competitive (in a nice gentle way) for learning and built resilience and confidence. They bloomed and would have been totally bored and potentially frustrated with another year in childcare/pre-school. Fantastic A levels and degree.

Such a difficult decision to make to try and decide what is best for your child. I am glad the option wasn't there at that point. In contrast, my other DC, born February, could have done with another year at Primary, the transition to Secondary was hard and seemed so much younger than other Year 7's, great academically throughout, but not as adept socially, but that could be be due to different life circumstances as well.

Such a dilemma and so down to the individual child.

You mentioned the 30h funding, so are you saying that she's not in nursery now but you'll put her in next year?

Couldn't you put her in now to see how she mixes with other kids? How do you judge her ability to socialise without any evidence?

You seem more hang up with the number 4 than your dd's personality. What do you base your assessment that she won't cope on?

You mentioned the 30h funding, so are you saying that she's not in nursery now but you'll put her in next year?

She’s with a childminder and has been for two years. We can’t use nurseries/pre-school as they can’t meet our childcare needs.

5 is a long time to spend with a childminder though OP without going to nursery/pre school

Can’t you find a preschool that your childminder an work around so you can find out how your daughter finds it

My friend used a childminder who also took the kids to the school nursery and collected them again.

I'd definitely recommend you getting the child into a preschool or no matter what you do they will be totally lost when it comes to starting school.

I'm 100% pro choice and believe that there should be a deferral right for children on the cusp of the cut off, children don't mature at the same rate. The time a child is born shouldn't dictate their future. The splitting twins born either side of midnight is ridiculous and madness.

But I don't believe that the childminder will be able to instill the independence in a child that a preschool can do. You need to allow her to develop that or she'll never be ready for school.

^Not necessarily Cecil's
When dc (23 and 25) half the class started September and the rest started in January.
When I went to school I was a September baby and my sister April. I started in September and my sister summer term.but the was some sort of rolling system as half my class went up to juniors before me.
When my nieces (early30) went to school they combined reception and yr 1 in same class^

I was responding to the post who said ‘always’ and I am very much older than 25! My birthday is February and I joined a class already more than half full at Easter. The children who would be in my younger classmates higher up the school did not start till September. It was a 2 form entry school but only had one class that would match to what is currently reception. Of the other 5 infant classes, one would match to a Y1/2 composite, so roughly half would have gone up to juniors while the rest remained in infants.

However, all children being able to start at 4 is not that new. Certainly, when I lived in Kingston 35 years ago, that was their policy, so the children involved would be in their 40’s now.

I can’t send my child to pre-school because I do shift work, I work different days and different times each week, whereas pre-schools, when I have enquired, want the children to go on set days.

She's your daughter op, do whatever you think is best for her as you would do in any other scenario.

My niece is July born, just started secondary school and is doing well. My other niece is August born and doing brilliantly at uni. One of my stepdaughters (July born).is currently doing her PhD in molecular science. We are not a super brainy family.

But I don't believe that the childminder will be able to instill the independence in a child that a preschool can do. You need to allow her to develop that or she'll never be ready for school.

Plus, my older son went to school straight from being with a childminder since he was 9 months old and he was absolutely fine.

@ThornAmongstRoses- whist I understand the difficulty of shift work, you will presumably continue to work shifts when your daughter goes to school. With the Covid situation most Playgroup’s in my area are closed, so children do not have the opportunity to mix in groups and gain the social skills which help settle at school. For this reason some tat at home parents I know who do not require Childcare are enrolling their children for nursery sessions.

I would consider this - even two mornings a week at preschool would help the transition.

I would consider this - even two mornings a week at preschool would help the transition.

But I can’t guarantee what days I will need him to go. The nurseries and pre-schools wanted set days.

I can’t say I will send him on Monday and Tuesday as set days (for example) - because then if I have to work Thursday and Friday I have no childcare for her.

Plus - the nurseries and pre-schools don’t open at the time I would need to do a drop off.

That’s why I have always used childminders, much more flexible and open as early as 6.30am as needed. We don’t need her from this time but we do drop our daughter off at 7am on the days we need her to go.

Her, not him. I kept getting her confused with my son

How do you currently manage your shifts around your son’s school hours?

Childminders can do preschool pick up and drop off though as part of their scope surely between you can work this out.

I think it is important here because this is such an important decision (would have been awful for me as an August born to be in the year behind but for DS friend was absolutely the right one) and it is such a individual one.

So no of course you arent being unreasonable to consider it - indeed I think you should. But not as a statistic or as a set of data but what suits your daughter and I do think you also need to look at how being with a childminder that long will have an impact.

And at the top end of primary school September borns do find they are ready before their peers.

It is a difficult choice and one that needs not only research but looking at your daughter

How do you currently manage your shifts around your son’s school hours?

Well he’s in school every day so I don’t have to worry about childcare so I? He goes to before school club and then my husband picks him up from school.

Childminders can do preschool pick up and drop off though as part of their scope surely between you can work this out.

I know they can. But like I have said, pre-school request set days and I can’t give them that because I don’t work set days.

But not as a statistic or as a set of data but what suits your daughter and I do think you also need to look at how being with a childminder that long will have an impact.

What impact though?

My son never went to pre-school, he was always with a childminder and he was fine going to school.

I imagine there are a lot of other parents who use childminders too as opposed to pre-schools for many reasons. And I’m sure many SAHP choose to keep their children at home until they start school even though they are entitled to childcare.

I’m happy to go looking for some research though that says children who go to pre-school fare better in the transition to school than children who don’t. And that’s not me being goady, I would be genuinely interested to read about it.

But surely you can do set days and have the childminder do collection when you are working and you do it when you are not?

Preschool isnt childcare at this age it is about seeing how ready your daughter is and getting her ready for school

@ThornAmongstRoses
Well he’s in school every day so I don’t have to worry about childcare so I? He goes to before school club and then my husband picks him up from school.

Sorry, I was asking because you said you couldn’t put your daughter in preschool, which would have similar hours to school. Apologies if that was worded in a way which made you feel it was a stupid question deserving of a snippy reply.

But surely you can do set days and have the childminder do collection when you are working and you do it when you are not?

So what happens if I say to pre-school, “ok, I will send my son on Monday Tuesday and Friday” - so they are the only days I have childcare.

So what happens if my shifts come out and I’m working Wednesday and Thursday? What do you suggest I do with him on those days?

And I’m sure many SAHP choose to keep their children at home until they start school even though they are entitled to childcare.

I wonder if there are any statistics on this. As I suspect the number of children who don't attend childcare, preschool, nursery etc before starting school would be a very small minority, even if they have a stay at home parent.

@ThornAmongstRoses

How do you currently manage your shifts around your son’s school hours?

Well he’s in school every day so I don’t have to worry about childcare so I? He goes to before school club and then my husband picks him up from school.

Childminders can do preschool pick up and drop off though as part of their scope surely between you can work this out.

I know they can. But like I have said, pre-school request set days and I can’t give them that because I don’t work set days.

Am I missing something here? Presumably your childminder works flexibly around your shifts. Say your DD went to pre school on Mondays and Wednesdays. On weeks when you are working these days the childminder would take her. On weeks when you are not working these days, you would take her.

Placing her in a preschool environment seems a very simple way to assuage some of your concerns about school-readiness and to ascertain whether deferral is appropriate.

Her, not him All this talk of flitting between my son and daughter is addling my brain this early in the morning