am I or Dh being unreasonable about internal doors not fully closed

[DoorWars]

I'm prepared to be told I am so here goes.

We have long pile carpets so doors don't "swing" as such. I tend to just push a door and then walk away, To be honest, it doesn't bother me and its an effort to remember as the first 20 years of my life were specifically spent leaving internal doors open so the cats and dogs didn't start howling at closed doors.

"DH" has a thing about doors being made to be shut. The one that drives him nuts is the one to the laundry cupboard. I put laundry in the basket and just push it behind me - and its always slightly ajar. This for some reason gives him the rage.

He's now threatening to take the door off the hinges if I don't learn to close it because there's no point in having it. Except it is closed its just off the latch.

So,

AIBU - I should make the effort to close the door even though its not something I actually think or bother about

AINBU - its a bloody door

YANBU OP. Sounds like you are being told off by your dad.

I would make the effort with the laundry door, the others I would leave as they end up

DH and I have this argument about kitchen cupboards!

DH likes them shut. I couldn't really care less! But it makes him happy so I have trained myself to close them. It's just a habit - now I do it automatically.

Does he have a specific reason for it?

I have a thing where I insist the utility room door is always closed. My house had a fire when I was younger from the washing machine and the kitchen door being closed made a big difference to us getting out safely.

You could have a bit shaved off the bottom of each door if it is driving your husband mad!

While threatening to take the doors off is a bit extreme, I’m the same with drawers or cupboards being open. I can’t explain it but I just can’t sit there and relax if they’re open , it drives me dull but I have no idea why

Were you born in a barn?

I like things like utility cupboards closed just seems neater but other doors are open unless shut for a reason in our house

He thinks it looks untidy. Funnily enough it’s only the laundry door - the rest of the doors he doesn’t mind.

I think it might be because it opens out onto the landing rather than in

I think NIBU, it's just a preference. Not everything has to have one of the people being unreasonable.

The doors I need to be closed are cupboard and wardrobe doors. Sometimes I feel like my house has a poltergeist because all the kitchen cupboard doors are wide open...

With that drip feed of info i now think YABU that would bug me to

That would drive me nuts too. My internal doors are left ajar so that the cat can get in and out but a door to a cupboard, shut it!

@TobblyBobbly

DH and I have this argument about kitchen cupboards!

DH likes them shut. I couldn't really care less! But it makes him happy so I have trained myself to close them. It's just a habit - now I do it automatically.

You would leave kitchen cupboard doors open? God that would drive me mad, genuinely couldn’t get my head around that.

Whilst he used being a bit OTT with his suggestions of taking the door off, I kind of agree that it’s irritating if doors are almost closed but not quite on unused rooms. It’s untidy looking to me. Also it means you end up heating unused rooms and losing heat from rooms that are being used. Laundry room door should always be closed for fire safety. Surely you don’t have deep pile carpet in there so it’s not a question of the door not swinging.

If it's just the one door that annoys him then I think I'd make the effort to close it. (I'd hope he would reciprocate if there was ever something random and minor that he did that annoyed me.)

On the whole though, I'm not bothered about doors being properly closed.

Put the wood in the hole!

Why would you not trim doors so they fit properly, you will be wrecking your carpets with the doors dragging over them all the time

I have to have the door to the living room closed because a draft comes through if not - otherwise I don't care at all!

If it bothers him so much it's a small thing to do to keep the peace. I'm sure you have similar small things that annoy you?

The slightly ajar doors would drive me mad.. I think it’s a personality thing, not a gender thing.

I don't think either of you are wrong. You just have different opinions about it. His threat to take the door off the hinges is absurd but if it's just one door and he isn't nit-picky about lots of things I would make the effort because a marriage where that isn't worth the effort isn't one worth staying in.

You could instead add some form of auto closer or trim the bottom of the door so it closes more easily and, possibly, then neither of you would have to change your behaviour/attitude.

Oh God . My DH leaves doors, drawers and cupboards open. But his worst offence is leaving the bloody FRIDGE door wide open. WTF?!

Its not the door thats the issue. Its the lack of respect. Its important to him and obviously not to you.

But him having said it upsets him, means you conciously not being arsed to do it is saying you don't give a stuff about his feelings.

Hold on. Thought it was all doors, now I see it’s just one. Think he’s got a point. It’s basically like leaving a cupboard door open. I’d like to change my vote! You’re being totally unreasonable!