am I or Dh being unreasonable about internal doors not fully closed

[DoorWars]

I'm prepared to be told I am so here goes.

We have long pile carpets so doors don't "swing" as such. I tend to just push a door and then walk away, To be honest, it doesn't bother me and its an effort to remember as the first 20 years of my life were specifically spent leaving internal doors open so the cats and dogs didn't start howling at closed doors.

"DH" has a thing about doors being made to be shut. The one that drives him nuts is the one to the laundry cupboard. I put laundry in the basket and just push it behind me - and its always slightly ajar. This for some reason gives him the rage.

He's now threatening to take the door off the hinges if I don't learn to close it because there's no point in having it. Except it is closed its just off the latch.

So,

AIBU - I should make the effort to close the door even though its not something I actually think or bother about

AINBU - its a bloody door

Some people have a thing about this, I do not. An open door doesn’t look ‘messy ‘, it looks open.

I would suggest he put the laundry away himself if it bothers him that much.

Cupboard doors and drawers should be closed. DH leaves them open and it irritates me greatly. It's not just that it looks untidy, they can also cause injury if a young child or clumsy adult knocks into them.

The utility room door should also be closed to hide the mess and mute any noise from the washing machine.

Bathroom/cloakroom doors should obviously be kept closed to contain any smells (!) and humidity.

When cooking there should be a door closed somewhere between the kitchen and bedrooms so the whole house doesn't smell of food (I don't mind cooking smells in the ground floor rooms so we just close the door to the hall/stairs).

You might want to keep a door closed to keep a room warm (or cool).

And I like to close my bedroom door when I go to sleep, I feel weirdly insecure when it's open.

Other than that I think it makes sense to leave the rest of the internal doors open for air circulation.

Oh dear - having written all that, I've realised I'm quite particular about my doors

I am anal about so many things but doors to rooms I don’t notice. Or maybe all ours are open constantly. 🤷‍♀️ - living room excluded.

A kitchen cupboard door open I would freak at.

I also have a thing about doors but more because of the cold coming through. My DP never closes drawers properly which drives me mad, it just looks messy

"If you don't learn to close it" WTF is he usually this controlling? I would be telling anyone who said this sentence to me to go fuck themselves

You would drive me mad!!!

It's ONE door he's asked you to keep closed. It's a cupboard door, mist people would want it closed.

However, threatening to remove it is, for some reason, deeply unpleasant behaviour. I'd ask him who the fuck he thought he was 'threatening' like that. He's not in charge of you

Mind you, I'd probably 'threaten' to remove your limbs - one by one! But I'm barely 5ft & no real threat to anyone over 4 🤣

Just shut the fucking cupboard door!!

We leave doors open during the day because our rooms don’t get heated evenly, so a small bedroom will get red hot while the big living room is still cold. Open doors allow the heat to travel between rooms (and also means the dog can wander around). But you should definitely close your doors at night for safety reasons. In the event of a fire it would prevent smoke and fumes spreading through the house. Closing the doors gives more chance for the fire alarm to go off before the smoke reaches you, and gives you a few crucial extra minutes of breathable air and visibility so you can escape.

All those who have an issue with it ...shut the fucking thing yourself if it bothers you so much!

@Kettledodger

All those who have an issue with it ...shut the fucking thing yourself if it bothers you so much!

Honestly constantly shutting doors after someone is infuriating

The difference between a closed door and open door in a fire. Please close your doors.

@Allywill

Were you born in a barn?

Yes, one with no doors

Since when was leaving doors open a 'dyspraxia thing'

Clipboard doors get closed. Room does hardly ever. I hate closed doors. I'm mildly claustrophobic, so any room I'm in will have an open door. And pretty much every other room in the house is probably open right now.

Cupboards, toilets, laundry, cellar: close the door.
Other room doors, do whatever you want.

I hadn't even considered fire safety but it's obvious now PPs have mentioned it.

My DS insists on us leaving his bedroom door open at night but I might have to insist on closing it, now!

Clipboard? Cupboard of course.

In my opinion, YABU. Essentially, you know something upsets DH but you're too lazy to make a very minor change to your life to fix it. His reasons are valid - it looks untidy, it's a tripping hazard, children could trap their fingers more easily, it's less energy efficient/eco-friendly, it completely negates the purpose of a door... How would you feel if he did something multiple times a day that he knew annoyed you but refused to stop despite it making no difference to his life?

@Kettledodger

All those who have an issue with it ...shut the fucking thing yourself if it bothers you so much!

Would you have the same mentality where DH was leaving mess behind him everywhere he went? That the spouse who's bothered by it should just clear the mess up themselves?

Threatening to take the door off if you dont do as you're told is so freaking controlling!

We dont close doors in this house, except the upstairs ones at night so the light doesn't come into our bedroom. So I cant really see his problem.

I think the issue of not closing doors is one thing you sound totally reasonable to me , it doesn’t bother me . However as it really annoys your husband could you make more of an effort ?
Saying that my husband refuses to close his wardrobe door , we have lived here for 20 years and he still can’t do it so I’ve given up I now either close it myself or just don’t look at it !!

My DP is blind ...I let him be as independent as possible but , a mess is always left, doors are always left open and I say nothing. Fucking saint I am (jk)

Most people seem to have one or two things which they cannot cope with and upsets them greatly. OP- is this the only thing he gets really upset about?

I wouldn't leave cupboard doors open as I'd walk into them. I couldn't sit and relax if the lounge door was open, but aside from that I don't care and probably wouldn't notice. It's a preference but if it annoys him and he notices he should just close it.

It's one door and would cost you nothing to shut it behind you. Does it matter whether it is reasonable or not for him to be irritated by it?