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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend said they're planning to break Covid rules..

304 replies

ThoroughlyForumed · 25/10/2020 11:07

I was visiting a close friend yesterday evening (all fine in my location at the moment). We got to chatting about Christmas plans and what we would do 'if' rules changed or were upped in our area.
Luckily for me my family is a neat 6 so as long as we stay in medium we can celebrate together but obviously would change the plan if anything changed. Her family is a larger 11 and she very candidly just said they were all planning to celebrate together regardless of what rules are in place then. I sort of shrugged it off at the time as I didnt want to start a hypothetical argument but AIBU for being secretly pissed off with her for being so cavalier with Covid rules?

OP posts:
FlippidyFlop · 26/10/2020 07:24

I really couldn't get too worked up about this. Essentially it's no different to your 'tandem' idea in terms of transmission is it?

We're in tier 2 so shouldn't be having anyone over indoors. On Christmas my Dad will be spending the day with us like he does every year because he is alone and I'm not having anyone tell me my father has to sit alone on Christmas day (he's in the police too 😮) and no, we won't be meeting outside for the day, he'll be inside enjoying his Christmas dinner and seeing his family.

Elsewyre · 26/10/2020 07:51

@ThoroughlyForumed

I do acknowledge that I'm very lucky with the 6 but if there were more of us we would visit different family members in tandem and stick with whatever the rules are at the time. I agree no-one should feel alone at Christmas but chunks of time each is better than nothing
But that's just as badGrin
Chocowally · 26/10/2020 08:04

Pointless to think about it. The rules might have changed and are a blunt instrument anyway eg what if all 11 of them isolate beforehand. Equally the hospitalisations and deaths might be off the scale and change their mind.

Washimal · 26/10/2020 08:16

Leave her to it. It's her family and xmas

That's not really how viruses work though, is it? That's precisely the point. Everyone thinks their Christmas is so important that they're willing to ignore the risks they pose to others. It's not just her family, it's anyone they might then go on to have contact with in the following days, and anyone those people have contact with and so on. Reading these threads on MN over the past few days I've come to the conclusion that those of us working in schools, hospitals, universities and other workplaces where social distancing is an impossibility are completely fucked.

Tunnocks34 · 26/10/2020 08:21

To be honest, whilst I don’t agree with her attitude, I can guarantee the most of the U.K. will have the same attitude.

By this point, lots of the U.K. has been unable to visit family Since March - there is absolutely no way the majority of people will accept not seeing their family at Christmas.

I actually think BJ will do a ‘saviour’ type thing and offer a 48 hour lift on restrictions to allow for people to see their family, as they know there will be so much non compliance.

Nottherealslimshady · 26/10/2020 08:27

We dont know what the rules will be. We're currently tier 3. Yet DH and I haven't been anywhere except the supermarket for months. I'm seeing my family at Christmas no matter what the rules are.

Washimal · 26/10/2020 08:47

I actually think BJ will do a ‘saviour’ type thing and offer a 48 hour lift on restrictions to allow for people to see their family, as they know there will be so much non compliance.

And yet large areas of the UK were locked down hours hours before Eid. What a slap in the face it would be to the Muslim community if Boris decides Covid will have a couple of days of because it's Christmas so people can do what they like.

I'd be willing to bet that many of the posters on here who are adamant they'll be seeing whoever they like for Christmas would have taken a very dim view of their Muslim neighbours flouting the lockdown rules to have big family gatherings for Eid though.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 26/10/2020 08:53

I am having a family Christmas with my sisters and their families (12 of us on Christmas day). We did our "civic duty" and followed the rules but:

Mum still died of covid in the 2nd week of lockdown
I still lost my job in July
Dad will still be dead by Christmas with the cancer that was not diagnosed until it was too late, because the hospital postponed his scan 3 times.

So for 1 day we are going to just think of us, because covid has taken enough from us as it is.

Tunnocks34 · 26/10/2020 08:56

@Washimal I wholeheartedly agree with you.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 26/10/2020 09:00

@DarkDarkNight

Lucky for you your family is a neat 6 then isn’t it? It’s an arbitrary number plucked from nowhere that the government could change at any time. If they cut it to 5 who will you leave out?
I think that would be A good question to ask If the OP hadnt thrown a wobbly on page one

But

A there are always going to be people who have a small Christmas

B people lie when they are backed into a corner 😀

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 26/10/2020 09:01

trapped

So sorry 💐

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 26/10/2020 09:05

@Washimal

I actually think BJ will do a ‘saviour’ type thing and offer a 48 hour lift on restrictions to allow for people to see their family, as they know there will be so much non compliance.

And yet large areas of the UK were locked down hours hours before Eid. What a slap in the face it would be to the Muslim community if Boris decides Covid will have a couple of days of because it's Christmas so people can do what they like.

I'd be willing to bet that many of the posters on here who are adamant they'll be seeing whoever they like for Christmas would have taken a very dim view of their Muslim neighbours flouting the lockdown rules to have big family gatherings for Eid though.

I wouldn't thank you very much, though im loving the ‘anyone who has More than 6 on Christmas day is probably islamaphobic as well’ bit

I agree completely with the rest of your post though, i think the torys will be making a huge mistake if they Relax the rules

And to be fair a fair few christians were pissed about easter

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 26/10/2020 09:06

Actually washimal apologies

That was mean of me

I know you didnt mean that...

Washimal · 26/10/2020 09:14

No, I absolutely didn't mean that. But apology accepted Flowers It's an emotive subject.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 26/10/2020 09:21

@Washimal

No, I absolutely didn't mean that. But apology accepted Flowers It's an emotive subject.
thank you 😊
WaxOnFeckOff · 26/10/2020 09:25

I don't think Eid and Christmas are a fair comparison. Eid was in May when we were still in the middle of a Pandemic, not enough testing, no track and trace, nothing.

Diwali is in a couple of weeks and I'm sure that many festivals have happened at various stages of lock down and therefore required different approaches.

I have no religion but like most UK families we celebrate Christmas not as a religious festival. No-one is stopping any other culture or religion from having a celebration at that time if there is a relaxation or regardless of a relaxation. Do you think Muslin, Hindu families etc wouldn't take advantage of a relaxation (for any reason) to go see their families?

mysticpistachio · 26/10/2020 09:32

Should be no more than 2 households.

We are 7 (5 children) without having anyone round. We can have my dad as support bubble. My in laws won't be able to come.

MadameBlobby · 26/10/2020 09:33

YABU, you can’t control what other people do.

pommedeterre · 26/10/2020 17:31

@ReneeRol

Nice for you that your family fits into the right number. You've no right to judge people whose families don't.
YES. THIS!
numberoneson · 26/10/2020 17:40

I don't think Covid is going to agree to an armistice for Christmas. I'm going to follow the rules we have now even if the government - who've handled the whole situation abysmally to date - try to curry public favour by relaxing the rules for Christmas.

Brondie319 · 26/10/2020 17:54

You are being SO unreasonable. And people like you really p**s me off.
Congratulations on having the perfect 6 arrangement. Lucky you.
Not everyone is in your position and you are in no place to judge others choices or situations. How dare you.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/10/2020 17:57

Bully for you. Your empathy abounds. Our options are to leave my in-laws on their own all day to have a miserable time-or pick one of them and the other have an even worse time or think fuck it and have 7. Jumping from house to house seeing different members/households family is virtually the same thing FYI in regards to exposure.

HitchikersGuide · 26/10/2020 18:10

Each to their own. There is far more to life (and death, and health) than Covid.

GinPin2 · 26/10/2020 18:13

We are a family of 13 +1foster GC

We are in a very low Covid rated part of our county sadly pushed up by Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole but still in Tier 1.
It sucks that we cannot see our daughter, SiL, 2 GC and foster GC in Somerset who have an even lower rate than us.
We see the other 2 families ( both within 5 mins away, and one in a bubble with us because her husband is on a submarine atm ) who we provde childcare for but obviously only one family at a time, except for Tuesday when both of these daughters work.
That's okay by Boris ( even though we are over 60 and it is 3 households mixing ) because it is helping the economy !!!!!

We try to stick to the rules, I did not realise it was optional ?!!

BUT we SO want to get together on Christmas Eve.
However, we will not break the rules. :(

Connor06 · 26/10/2020 18:15

YANVU GET A LIFE

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