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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when you moved out?

243 replies

jennie0412 · 24/10/2020 23:11

I'm in college right now, but before I go to university I want to have moved out. Nothing against my parents, I love them and I enjoy their company, but I want my own place, my own kitchen and my own bedroom. I want to be able to just walk out to the kitchen in my underwear and make my own breakfast with my own food. Honestly, I'd be over the moon to just live in a studio flat in a cheap area.

When did you move out of your family home and what was the experience like?

OP posts:
JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 27/10/2020 13:05

@DTIsOnlyForNow

In what alternate universe do you think you can afford your own flat, in London, at 17 with a part time job? Stay home and grow up.
Why feel the need to speak to her like a piece of shit?
MrsMariaReynolds · 27/10/2020 13:08

Moved out (and some 400 miles away) at 18 to go to Uni. I did come home for summer breaks, and in between other moves, but nothing significant. Now live 4000+ miles away and haven't looked back.

BackforGood · 27/10/2020 13:16

@JoeCalFuckingZaghe
I don't think she was speaking to her like that.
However, the 'needing to be a bit more blunt' was probably prompted by dozens of the previous 200 posts gently trying to "nicely suggest" that the OP is a) asking the wrong question and b) being completely unrealistic but the OP not really taking it on board, hence people do then start to become more direct.

TeamLucille · 27/10/2020 13:46

I went to Uni but didn't "move out" then, as still had my bedroom and all my stuff at home.

I lived in a houseshare when I first started working, so wasn't really moved out either.

I must have been around 25-26 when I move out when I got my first real place but I still left some stuff, still have my bedroom even if I am not middle-aged with kids Grin

DTIsOnlyForNow · 27/10/2020 13:47

Why feel the need to speak to her like a piece of shit?

I'm addressing her like a daft child, which is clearly what she is. She has absolutely no clue what she is talking about and wouldn't last 5 minutes in the real world

joystir59 · 27/10/2020 13:48

Went away to uni, never went to live at home again after that so 20

firstimemamma · 27/10/2020 14:00

Properly (as in not halls at uni or anything) age 24. Would've done it sooner but had a lot of mental health problems.

KingscoteStaff · 27/10/2020 14:25

University 18-21, then first job was at other end of country. I think I moved back in a few years later when I got a job in home city, but only for a bit while I looked for a house share.

BigGlasses · 27/10/2020 14:33

Uni from 17-21 living in halls, student flats and home during the holidays. Went from Uni to my first job (agency work) and lived in a flat share with 4 other young working people. Moved into smaller and smaller flats until there was just 2 of us, then bought a small one bedroom place in a crappy part of town at age 30. Married DH at 32 and bought a small house together.

zingally · 27/10/2020 14:49

I was 22, nearly 23. Ended up with a teaching job an hour and a half away from where my parents lived. So staying at home with them wasn't an option.

The first couple of months were a bit lonely, but I quickly adapted and never looked back.

toconclude · 27/10/2020 19:10

21; moved to London for work. I had a shared room in a hostel - the girl I shared with is still my closest friendGrin.
37 years ago!

PolkadotGiraffe · 27/10/2020 20:19
  1. It was difficult. I was very broke initially. But now I have a very successful career and a lovely home. I was born in the late 1980s if that is relevant. Independence and your own space is so important.
PolkadotGiraffe · 27/10/2020 22:51

@DTIsOnlyForNow

Why feel the need to speak to her like a piece of shit?

I'm addressing her like a daft child, which is clearly what she is. She has absolutely no clue what she is talking about and wouldn't last 5 minutes in the real world

Wow. Is there any need for this? Lots of people left home young as a "daft child" and became successful. This sounds so bitter and is a mean way to speak to someone asking a simple question.
Gillian1980 · 27/10/2020 23:00

18-20 I lived with my boyfriend. Then went home for 6 months then moved out again permanently.

I rented and was a lodger until I met DH when I was 31.... moved in to his house then we bought our current house together.

It can be stressful worrying about money, especially as I didn’t have a proper career. I just jumped about between jobs trying to decide what to do. But I had fun and, much as I get on with and live dp, I needed to have my own space.

Original poster
jennie0412 · 27/10/2020 23:07

@DTIsOnlyForNow

Why feel the need to speak to her like a piece of shit?

I'm addressing her like a daft child, which is clearly what she is. She has absolutely no clue what she is talking about and wouldn't last 5 minutes in the real world

Shock Kindly fuck off
OP posts:
21833efb · 27/10/2020 23:10

@DTIsOnlyForNow

Why feel the need to speak to her like a piece of shit?

I'm addressing her like a daft child, which is clearly what she is. She has absolutely no clue what she is talking about and wouldn't last 5 minutes in the real world

Biscuit
Selfisolation2020 · 27/10/2020 23:25

22 moved in To a flat for 6 months with my now husband, then moved back for 2 months as 6 months lease was up and we bought a house That we was waiting to exchange on. That was in 2006

Oooooooooooooooooooooo · 27/10/2020 23:54

I left home at 16 and have a 6 figure salary now OP. So you are right to tell these "daft child" people to kindly fuck off.

If you do it, it probably will not be easy but by no means does it mean you can't make it work. It's your choice and this way of speaking to young people is so condescending. Then people seem bemused why young people don't ask older people for advice?!

There seems to be much bitterness here that I do not believe should be directed at this young lady.

OP it's doable but hard is the truth. My circumstances were awful and it wasn't fun for me but I have no idea what yours are really. If you really want to do it you will make it work.

I am 32 now, for context.

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