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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when you moved out?

243 replies

jennie0412 · 24/10/2020 23:11

I'm in college right now, but before I go to university I want to have moved out. Nothing against my parents, I love them and I enjoy their company, but I want my own place, my own kitchen and my own bedroom. I want to be able to just walk out to the kitchen in my underwear and make my own breakfast with my own food. Honestly, I'd be over the moon to just live in a studio flat in a cheap area.

When did you move out of your family home and what was the experience like?

OP posts:
Betty94 · 25/10/2020 00:05

I was 24 but we bought our house, so I lived at home whilst we saved

TheVanguardSix · 25/10/2020 00:05

surlycurly you’ve got enough guts for all of us. Very inspirational, your experience is. I hope life is calm and happy for you now. 👏💪

UncleFoster · 25/10/2020 00:06

Went to uni at 18, came home for holidays but never really moved back home after that

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 25/10/2020 00:06

I went to uni at 18 then had to take a year off between 2nd and 3rd years after being raped so went back to my dad's to recover, back away to finish uni then moved to the UK when I was 24. I still have a bunch of stuff in my dad's attic and my old room is still referred to as "Fidget's room" so I don't know if I've technically properly moved out. I would honestly move back in a heartbeat, do up the old shearer's block as a cottage and farm with my dad but my husband is less keen on the idea.

PebblesAndBamBam · 25/10/2020 00:07
  1. Out for uni then back for a year prior to finally leaving. Worked well.
Original poster
jennie0412 · 25/10/2020 00:10

I haven't got a full time job yet, but when I leave college I will have (hopefully!), as I'm not yet 18! It's definitely easy to save up though, as my parents don't charge me anything, so everything I don't spend on myself can go into savings!

OP posts:
PastMyBestBeforeDate · 25/10/2020 00:10

I went away to university at 18. I came back after university for about a year and then moved into a shared house nearer work. And that was that.

SierraHotel · 25/10/2020 00:11

I was 20, me and now dh bought our first house.

Babyfg · 25/10/2020 00:12

Went to uni 18-21 and went home frequently at weekends and breaks. My mum passed away when I was 21 (and father not about) so didn't have the option to go back and live with her (I'd made plans to rent with uni friends but took over the family home). If you can rent that's great and does really make you more independent. It's also nice that you have your parents about for support (like who else would you want to ring if you were ill or had an emergency sort of thing)

augustusglupe · 25/10/2020 00:17

When I got married, I was 23

Murphs1 · 25/10/2020 00:17

24 after I’d gone to uni in my gone town and got some savings for my own place. Around 2003.

Murphs1 · 25/10/2020 00:17

Home not gone Grin

katy1213 · 25/10/2020 00:20

Never went back after university. Nobody did, it was unthinkable in those days.

Pinkchocolate · 25/10/2020 00:21

19-20 I was at uni which I loved. Moved out properly at 21 and found out I was a total wimp that would repeatedly check door locks and shut windows. It was actually really good for me and I grew up pretty quickly. I loved it after a while.

Littleposh · 25/10/2020 00:21

I was 17. My 'family home' was full of violence and alcohol. I hated it but being on my own at that age was awful. There were times when I was cold, hungry, terrified and even homeless.

Dd is planning to move out in a couple of years when she's 22/23ish. We've discussed it as a family, she's using the time to save money for a deposit, start buying bits and pieces she'll need and build her credit score. I would happily have her here a couple years more than that but she is very independent and has her head screwed on a real plan for her future mapped out

thesoundofthepolice · 25/10/2020 00:23

I was 21 and worked shifts (still do) being at home with parents and my sibling was quite hard. Moving out was the best thing

Bid876 · 25/10/2020 00:23

18 I couldn’t wait, even moved in with a shit boyfriend just to get away.

Ideasplease322 · 25/10/2020 00:25

I lived out during university, but didn’t have my own home until I was 24.

It’s bloody expensive, and tough if you are studying full time.

Proudboomer · 25/10/2020 00:26

23 as I worked two jobs and stayed home until I had a deposit to buy a small studio flat above a betting shop.
I how have adult children at home saving their own deposits my youngest 23 and he thinks he should be able to buy around 25.

Hailtomyteeth · 25/10/2020 00:29

20, for marriage. If you feel ready and can finance it, go.

MiddleClassMother · 25/10/2020 00:32

At 18 when I went to university. Moved in with my boyfriend (now DH) as he part worked part studied so could afford rent.

GoldfishParade · 25/10/2020 00:35
  1. Time of my life, being a student and living in halls, and then upgrading to houseshares.

I totally get the comfort of living at home etc but I just cant see how you wouldnt miss out on some of the really formative experiences you get from essentially being a child still and pushed into having to deal with stuff alone.

I miss those days!

Original poster
jennie0412 · 25/10/2020 00:36

Thanks everyone! Smile

Does anyone have any experience of living in London alone as a young woman? I'm having a little look at flats and some are alright price but I'm worried about being vulnerable Sad I know it sounds stupid but I'd rather be safe than sorry!

OP posts:
GoldfishParade · 25/10/2020 00:48

You'll be fine. Just avoid ground floor flats if you're nervous. I would also advise house sharing as a way of easing into it, unless you're dead set on living alone

MiddleClassMother · 25/10/2020 00:49

I've never lived alone, but a few basic security tips won't hurt, as they're probably the most important.
•Ask your local police for a security review, it's free and they'll tell you the weaknesses of your home.
•Have working smoke detectors, ideally hardwired
•Don't tell people other than close friends and family where you're living
•If possible have a monitored alarm system
•Living in a flat not on the ground floor is an advantage, as less chance of being broken into through windows
•Have a friend/family member you can check it with when you've been out etc. As there's no one home no one would know if you made it back safely.