OH thinks no kids are left hungry?!!

[ihate2020]

I've joined the cook4kids over the half term in our area.

Oh is pissed of about it and thinks the parents that collect the lunch boxes I've made up are just out to get a freebie and I should spend the money on our own kids

AIBU to say he is a delunsional idiot?

I'm still here @SummerSnapdragon I just didn't know what to say by time I came back their was too many comments

@ihate2020 Have you spoken to your husband about it?

@feministfemme not really had the chance too we had that brief discussion and he went to work.

he was basically asking me how many kids at school do you remember that looked malnourished and I said none and he said exactly. We're both from "rough" parts of the midlands so to him that was enough evidence.
Then he said if kids are hungry it's down to the parents not doing their job properly.

That's where we left it.

@ihate2020 does he usually have empathy / compassion for people outside of his social standing? Not a judgement, genuinely curious if this is the exception or the rule when it comes to his belief system.

@MootingMirror I work with children and families in one of the most deprived areas in the NW. I completely and wholeheartedly agree with you.

FSM are helpful for many many families, don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful thing... but without FAM those children wouldn't go hungry! Yes the families life would be made harder, things would be much tighter, more families would struggle. But... their parents love them. At the very least these children would get cheap, basic food, their parents would make do. I'm NOT AT ALL saying they should have to do this, but they would!

The children who ARE going hungry, aren't going hungry because their parents cannot afford to feed them, they are going hungry because of NEGLECT. Because their parents do not prioritise their children. Food vouchers don't go on food for their children, they won't be taken to the local well meaning cafe for a free meal. That's not how these families work.

@WitchesGlove - it would be wonderful if social care could remove all the children in the UK who are currently being neglected. But there are thousands and thousands of them. The majority of the families I work with are on child protection plans or in TAC due to neglect!!

It's great that people are pulling together and being so generous, but it makes me sad that people don't really 'get it.'

Unless you work with these families, see it first hand somehow, you just don't understand what it's like. It's the most frustrating thing in the world, at surface level you almost want to scream and shout at them in frustration... until you realise the parents themselves have faced such trauma and poor parenting themselves.

I've gone on for far too long, but @MootingMirror is correct. As am I... So you can not like it and say what you want, but I live it, see it, breathe it, you (probably) do not.

As ever, the ones who truly need help and support, the most vulnerable in our society, are completely invisible and voiceless.

FSM, not FAM

If the parents are choosing to rent in an extortionate area - when there are cheaper places for them to live in - whilst letting their children go hungry, then it is the parents who have made the choice to let their children go hungry. So all the working class people in cities like London, for example, whose families have lived in the area for generations and who now struggle to afford to rent anywhere decent because Max & Felicity from Hampshire moved to London for work, now consider themselves to be Londoners and want to buy in an ‘up and coming area’ and eat their smashed avocado on toast in peace without having to look at poor people. They should all piss off up north or to Wales, away from everything and everyone they’ve ever known, because the rent is cheaper. Is that the sort of thing you mean?

@diningroomfloorlady @MootingMirror your posts are spot on.
I was brought up in poverty, no TV, no telephone, no carpets, no hearing, both parents worked but I never went hungry as despite everything and being as poor as we were, my parents put food on the table as a priority.

So because your parents managed narcdad, everyone has to? Children are going hungry whether you had heating or televisions or not. They’re still going hungry. Myriad reasons. You think a civilised society should be enabling that because your parents put food on the table?

@Gilead yes I do!

I think we are a very civilised country, yes there are a myriad of reasons why children are going hungry but providing FSM during holiday times because a millionaire footballer says children are going hungry (although we have a childhood obesity crisis) is not the answer.

I dont suppose it helps optically that the poorest kids in the country are predominantly the fattest.

You do understand that obesity is part of the malnutrition problem?
Well, you obviously don’t. Interesting that you’re prepared to a) take on the turgid trope of ‘ millionaire football player, whilst agreeing comfortably with millionaire bankers. And heartbreaking that you feel that it’s okay for children to go without whilst neither comprehending nor acknowledging the myriad reasons involved. Shame on you.

@ZaraW

MootingMirror children are going hungry. Maybe because of their parents behaviour maybe not. Show some compassion every child deserves to be fed.

Read their bloody comment properly fgs. They explicitly state the children should be fed whatever.

The children who ARE going hungry, aren't going hungry because their parents cannot afford to feed them, they are going hungry because of NEGLECT. Because their parents do not prioritise their children. Food vouchers don't go on food for their children, they won't be taken to the local well meaning cafe for a free meal. That's not how these families work.

@WitchesGlove - it would be wonderful if social care could remove all the children in the UK who are currently being neglected. But there are thousands and thousands of them. The majority of the families I work with are on child protection plans or in TAC due to neglect!!

It's great that people are pulling together and being so generous, but it makes me sad that people don't really 'get it.'

This needs saying a hundred times over. It’s not judging, we still try our hardest everyday but it doesn’t help that the general public who don’t see these people think that’s there’s an easy answer and get so self righteous.

I hate this move back to the Victorian idea of deserving and undeserving poor. Any child who is poor is deserving.

Yep @CuriousaboutSamphire all of them! Whatever help/advice/support their parents need we should be putting as much focus on that as well as as actually feeding those that are going hungry. Most are just concerned flaming virtue signalling. Not getting to the root of what the problem is. Good friend is a teacher DH is a head and they say the same as @MootingMirror.

This is all attention seeking sticking plaster.....dear God yes we can’t let a child go hungry but if you are not feeding your child that is a serious safeguarding issue and should be investigated.

Feeding your children should be the first thing you do and the last thing you don’t! Whilst there will absolutely be many families in crisis there are also too many not accessing the support their entitled to or prioritising there own or the flaming dogs needs above their own children!

Yes, yes, yes @whiskybysidedoor

Sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes but this makes me so angry!!!!!!!

I hate this move back to the Victorian idea of deserving and undeserving poor. Any child who is poor is deserving.

But no one is saying that. They are saying that although there seems like a very simple answer it’s actually hugely more complicated than that and because of those complications these simple answers may do more harm than good. I’d love it if people now tried to get more involved and get down to the nitty gritty of trying to make these kids lives better. What a success that would be! But making packed lunches no one will eat and slagging off the government isn’t that sadly.

@Gilead you talk about enabling.....feeding children on their parent’s behalf is 100% enabling them to carry on not prioritising their children. You do not get it. No we can’t let a child go hungry but we need to stop the attention seeking and have some real discussions about why.

I had a similar discussion with my OH the other night OP. I ended up online quoting facts to him about child poverty and he was still trying to pick it apart! After a very long discussion I do think I managed to get through to him. It's just ignorance and infuriates me! Well done for helping out and doing your bit

@feministfemme

clears throat

WE SHOULDN'T LET CHILDREN GO HUNGRY EVEN IF IT IS THE FAULT OF THE PARENTS. THE CHILDREN HAVE NO CULPABILITY.
EITHER YOU FUNDAMENTALLY THINK ALL CHILDREN HAVE A RIGHT TO FOOD, OR YOU DON'T.

Phew. I feel better.

Totally agree!!!

Chuggington There are cases whereby both parent and child are going hungry. It’s not as simple as not feeding the children , but being unable to feed the children.
There is no justification for a government to marginalise this issue.

@Gilead

You do understand that obesity is part of the malnutrition problem? Well, you obviously don’t. Interesting that you’re prepared to a) take on the turgid trope of ‘ millionaire football player, whilst agreeing comfortably with millionaire bankers. And heartbreaking that you feel that it’s okay for children to go without whilst neither comprehending nor acknowledging the myriad reasons involved. Shame on you.

Oh I do understand, I was an obese child myself, so fully understand as I've lived it - have you? Have you any experience of this? Have you worked or do you work in child services? I do, so fully aware.

What is more heartbreaking is posters like you who assume FSM during term time is the answer, any anyone to disagree is labelled a heartless and uneducated.

More money needs to go into services to support vulnerable children and families, not providing a yogurt and a cheese roll for 2 weeks.

@Gilead yes but what the Government and and society need to be concerned with is WHY!!! And then what can we do to solve that.